Chapter 65 No Common Sense
Eden's POV:
I should pull away. I should tell him that I'm fine and not to worry about me. Now is the perfect opportunity to tell him who I am. Any of those things would be reasonable responses to his embrace.
But I choose to stand still, grabbing the sides of his shirt with my fists so that I can cling to him. The one thing I probably shouldn't do. Not if I want to keep my sanity and whatever professionalism I have left.
My heart is racing and I don't know if it's from being upset about my grandma or because he's hugging me. He smells amazing and he feels even better; warm and strong, he makes me feel surprisingly safe. This small gesture goes a long way to calm my nervous energy.
If he wasn't here, I'd be rushing out the door to go to my grandma's. No matter how late it is, I'd barge in there and demand to know everything. But I'm not sure it would do me any favours. Grandma doesn't like ambushes. There's no way I'd get the information I need out of her. If anything I'd just make finding it all the much harder.
"I'm okay," I tell him, although I don't let go of his shirt. I might be okay but I'm not willing to let him go just yet. I could get used to this.
"I know," he says into my hair.
This entire situation is far too intimate and if I had any common sense, I'd push him away and remind us both that he is my boss. But I'm beginning to think I don't have any sense at all. I'm certainly not acting like it. But then neither is he.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry. I'm just a bit tired, I guess." I make the first excuse that comes to my mind. I'm not really ready to explain to him why this whole thing matters to me so much. I'm not ready to admit that I've been lying to him since day one.
I try to pull away, feeling suddenly awkward but he doesn't let me, pulling me tighter into his hard chest. My ear pressed against it, I can hear his heart beat and it's not much calmer than my own. Lifting my head, I try to look up at him but all I can see is the underside of his chin which really gives nothing away. I can't tell anything about his mood from the outline of his jaw.
"Noah?" I try in a hushed whisper.
"Mhmm?"
"You can let me go now," I say even though I don't really want him to.
"Oh. Yeah." He pulls away too quickly and I almost stumble forward but he catches me just in time.
If I wasn't embarrassed a few moments ago, I sure am now. I'm hardly brave enough to look at him but I force myself to anyway. I don't quite meet his eye though, choosing to direct my gaze just over his shoulder.
"Sorry," he says, his ears turning pink. I'm not sure I've ever seen him embarrassed before but it makes me smile that I'm not the only one feeling off kilter and it gives me the courage to look at him straight on.
"It's okay."
I'm not sure what he's apologising for and I don't really care. Not right now. Not when I can barely breathe because he's so close. His hands on my upper arms, I feel like his skin is burning into mine. Finally, I'm able to see him clearly and I'm surprised to find him staring down at me with a serious look on his face. I watch as his eyes flit between looking me in the eye and darting down to my lips. Only a fraction of a second before he actually does it, I realise that he's going to kiss me.
He's actually going to kiss me and this time there's no burning dinner in the oven, no fire alarm piercing our eardrums, no neighbours panicking that I'm burning down the building, ready to force us apart. This time he's going to kiss me for sure.
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