Chapter 91 He's Going to Hate Me
With only two days left before the memorial service, time is running out to tell Noah but I still haven't worked out how to go about it. I'm terrified that he'll be hurt... or that he won't forgive me. I've been avoiding him. Well sort of... He's been busy with work. He's been up to something for weeks and I have no idea what it is but it means that avoiding him is surprisingly easy.
Unable to sleep, I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. It's been days since I had a decent night's sleep. Instead, I've been tossing and turning as I try to think up a solution. Grandma would say I'm overthinking it.
I almost texted him twice with a single sentence, "My real name is Eden Clancy."
Of course, I can't actually tell him by text. He definitely wouldn't forgive me if I did that. But I've considered all the options... writing him a letter... taking him out for dinner... putting a post-it note on his desk... using sign language or a foreign language - personally that's my favourite. I get a clear conscience and he stays in the dark a little longer.
Either way, whatever I decide to do, I need to stop putting it off. There are only two days to go until the memorial and it will be too late to tell him because he'll see me up there on the stage with grandma. Leaving it until then, definitely isn't an option. He'd never forgive me if I just let him find out.
I have to tell him myself.
Glancing at my alarm clock, I wonder if it's too late to call him. It's a little after eleven. It's possible that he's still awake but am I really going to tell him over the phone? Moaning, I roll over, hiding my head under my pillow. This is such a mess! Why did I ever listen to my grandma and lie about who I am?
Except I don't regret it. Not really.
If I hadn't, I wouldn't have met Noah or made some brilliant friends. Would that have been different if I'd gone in as Eden Clancy? Would Stacey have been as at ease with me? Noah certainly wouldn't have tried to have me fired. Oh, gosh! He's going to be so furious!
I'm going to tell him tomorrow... No more putting it off. I'm just going to suck it up and give it my best shot. And fingers crossed he won't hate me.
***
The next morning, I feel especially groggy as I settle down at my desk. I can tell it's going to be a bad day. I've got that feeling you get when you just know that even if everything doesn't go wrong, your mood is definitely going to ruin everything.
Noah is already in his office and there's a mug of coffee waiting for me on my desk.
Taking a deep breath, I tell myself there's no time like the present. I don't want to put this off, but I feel so nervous. My palms are sweaty and I feel like I could throw up.
I get to my feet and step around my desk towards the door to his office. I'm moving sluggishly, trying to put it off, even if just for a second longer. I practically walk into Noah as he walks out of his office. His hands go to my arms, holding me up.
"Morning," he breathes out.
"Morning," I return with a whisper.
"Can I..." I begin but he cuts me off.
"I'm heading up to a meeting," he says pointedly.
"At this time?" I ask, glancing at my watch. It's not yet eight. It's hard to believe that there are enough people in the building to actually have a meeting.
He looks at me questioningly, probably wondering why I'm still standing in his way.
"No problem. I'll talk to you when you get back." I try not to sound as disappointed as I feel but the look in his eyes tells me I've failed.
"I'll be back in a bit," he says softly, squeezing my arm.
It doesn't matter when he's back because there's no way I'll be able to open this particular conversation with everyone else around.
"It's all good. I'll see you later," I say, faking a smile.
He's going to hate me.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
