Chapter 32

It's sad,but the truth hurts no matter what it is or how it's said

I can see his office, I can see her secretary working on something,there it is,this is it, this is how I will break the news to him.

I smile towards the secretary as she stands up greeting me,

"Is Xavier around?"I ask biting my lips,

"Yes miss but he's with someone right now."the secretary says .

"Uh, don't worry,he won't mind."I say as I touch the door handle,my heart beating fast, butterflies in my stomach,you know that feeling you have when you are anxious?Now times that by a million,too much right? Here I am going to the love of my  life's office with the greatest news that will totally change our lives.
Anyways,I turn the door knob, closing it behind me and smile .

"Love, I have something to tell-"
There, everything just came down,the sight in front of me whipped me hard,Just as sudden as happiness came,saddness enveloped me,no it can't be,it can't be him,he can't do this to me, maybe I'm at the wrong office.

Behind the desk was a man sat on an office  chair while a almost naked woman straddled him as they kissed.

"Xa- Xavier??"the man on reflex pushed the woman on his lap and looked my way, I wish he didn't,so that I could keep telling myself that it isn't him, I wish I hadn't called his name ,maybe I could have just assumed it was a wrong office and I could have left silently.I wish-wish? I no longer can't do that when the man looking my way was none other than the man that owned my heart,the man that is the father to the child growing inside me.

"Rina??"Xavier was shocked to see me as he attempted to stand up,I didn't know I was crying until I felt the coldness on my cheek.

"So she's the one that stole my place,I'm Lucy, the mother to his son, our child."the blondie emphasised,she was beautiful,classy and looks rich and more Levi's mother,but that doesn't give him the right to cheat on me.

"And I'm Rina,his fiancee"I emphasised on the fiancee part as she flipped her hair and scoffs making me feel awful.

"Really??B*tch,I'm his first love and I have came back to take my rightful place,he loves me and not you, I'm his first and only love,his baby mama and not even you can change that!"

That's right, she's right,but she left them and I came, I took her position, Xavier loves me,he won't leave me for her,but what if it's true?what if he still loves her?As they say the first love is your true love, I just wish they were wrong,I'm clinging on that hope that he will choose me,he loves me.Does he??

"Xavier,say something,do you love her?You love me right,tell her you love me and choose me,why aren't you saying something Xavier,say something love,Xavier??"there he stood silent, ashamed to look into my eyes, it's a dream,it ought to be one.

He has declined me, rejected me,all his declarations of love for me was a lie,my whole life was a lie,how could I have a place in his heart when it was already occupied by someone else?I was a fool and so damn foolish,how could I fall for his charm?How did I end up here?

"You see, he still loves me,his silence proves it all,he just used you to forget about me.He used you."

Enough! Pause! Rewind back to where we were happy.Stop!! Please stop!!!I want to skip or fast forward, please,but no.....that's not how life is.

I wanted for him to tell her that it wasn't true,to hug me and say that he loves me,to tell me it's just a prank angel.He did nothing ,not even look my way, it's finished,I'm done.

"I despise you."I spit as he looks at me red eyed and there I got out,I left him, just like I'm going to leave his life...

Perhaps,I'm just really unlucky in life,I'm cursed when it comes to love,the people I love always leave me just like my parents did and now...him

I thought he was mine,then he's taken away, I wish I never had him,so that it wouldn't hurt as much as it does right now.

How will I move on,can someone tell me how do I move on?Go to parties?Drink?Cry?Laugh?Be bitter?Or get occupied?

Why does it have to happen now when  we were going to bring a new being in our life.I don't know what to do??

I try calling Alex but he's not picking up?I remember they left the country, I have nowhere to go, I have no place to call? I have no family and worse I don't have a shoulder to cry on.My life sucks, I feel dead inside,I'm dead inside.He promised me the world and I was so stupid to fall for it, love is truly blind. I was blind in love.

"He used you."her words keep on taunting me and piercing me like sharp cold ice.

Please dear Lord,if you can at least hear me, please strike me with your lightning, please kindly kill me.I beg...

"I'm sorry love,I'm sorry I can't give you a perfect family, it's only you and me now, it's just the two of us."I cry pitying my child, pitying me.

Levi, I have to talk to him, I have made my decision.

I head towards Levi's school and I find the driver waiting for him,the driver bows slightly on seeing me as I try to force a smile.I have to act as if I'm okay to Levi. I have to be.

"Mommy!!"Levi runs hugging me.Mommy?I wish I were.

"Hey love, let's get you home."we enter the car as the driver starts the engine,how I'm I going to break to him that I have to leave, that his dad doesn't love me and that his biological mother is back.

I see the mansion,as the driver stops the car.Okay here I go.

"Levi my love, you know I love you so much right."

"Yes mommy, what's wrong,why are you crying?" Shit!!! I told myself I won't cry, control yourself Rina.

"Love, I have to go, mommy has to go far away but don't worry, another mother will come who will love you very much even more than me."I sniffle wiping the tears with the back of my hand.

"Mommy, I don't want another, I want you, I love only you, please don't leave me mommy."Levi said crying as I hugged him tight.

"It's for the best, I love you-*sniffs*and don't ever forget that, daddy loves you too okay so much.But now, I have to go."

"But why mommy,why, daddy loves us."

"Yes, daddy loves you and your real mother so much.So you have to be a good kid and respect your mum."I say cupping his cheeks.I kiss his forehead and hug him again.Forgive me.

"I love you."I say ,as I quickly get out of the car,as I hear his screams and begging me to not leave him,to not go.

I don't want to look behind me for I know if I do,I will go back and never leave.

💜💜

The rain starts pouring hard,my dress is drenched and my hair is a mess,but the rain is nothing, I walk hopelessly through the street,the sound of the cars beeping me to get out of the way.

I'm almost knocked down, I see nothing in front of me as the rain is blinding me, I can't control my cries as memories of him cloud my mind I'm weak from the running, walking,and heavy rain pouring hard on me.Even the heavens is angry with me.I try to get into a shelter but it's hopeless, every shelter is full with people hiding from the rain, some smiling,others laughing, while others busy on their phones unaware of the broken hearted girl on the road.

I suddenly feel dizzy,my legs too weak to hold me as I collapse on the muddy ground, I wanted to stand up, I wanted to move on but I couldn't..... I couldn't think straight, I couldn't feel anything,as darkness consumed me.