Chapter 50 Feelings

"You're useless, I wish you also died with your parents," he gritted and glared at me before going out of his office
Now, I'm alone here, no one was here to see me, so I fall on my knees and put my hand over my mouth
Why Zuriel, I've thought you finally move don but here, why!!
I remember after our first date, that be a beautiful moment of ours
Flashback
I heard the soft thud of his door closing and without thinking; I took small steps toward his room. I could feel my head getting ready to explode. Maybe that's extreme. However, I had a strong urge to finally follow my instincts but I was nervous. I took another step toward his room building up the nerve to just do it. A strange, unfamiliar feeling opened inside of me. I knocked on his door twice and waited. After a while, he opened the door and seemed confused to see me.
"Did you forget something?" Concern etched over his face.
The black shirt was half way open, revealing the skin of his chest. I felt an ache that went right down to my soul, and I forgot everything except that moment.
"Yeah, I did." I swallowed, my voice shaking a little.
I knew that what was about to happen would change everything between us. And for once, I was looking forward to it.
"What?"
"This."
I got on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his; hushing any question he may have, melting our bodies together. My skin was covered in goose bumps as I clutched his shirt then sliding my fingers into his hair and grasping him close.
Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in closer until our bodies were plastered together. His touch made me lose any train of logical thoughts that I had left inside my head. All my doubts and concerns went flying out the window. Yet, I was aware of how unresponsive he had become. He stood still, very still. I broke the kiss and repeated something that he had said to me a while ago.
He pulled his mouth away and set his forehead to mine. He whispered my name; his voice was deep and sexy as I parted my lips, breathing into him. The slow burn deep in my belly was flaming higher. My breaths were becoming erratic from having him this close to me. He connected his lips once more with mine and this time I lost count of the time. God knows, how long we've been kissing. Seconds, minutes or hours. I couldn't remember. He broke the kiss and I leaned my forehead against his, our breathing was out of control and loud.
"If you want me to stop, then I suggest you to tell me right now." He groaned when my hands touched his bare chest. I could feel the muscles tense under my touch and it fascinated me. "Otherwise, I wont be able to stop myself. Fuck, you are driving me crazy." Holding my wrists, he buried his face in my hair and whispered.
My knees wobbled slightly when he set me on my feet. He tightened his grip around my waist, pulling me in close.
"I won't." I manage to say between the pants. A moan laced with ecstasy tumbled from my lips when his brushed his lips against my jaw.
"Huh?" Zuriel whispered. I leaned back to meeting his eyes, falling into their stormy depths.
"I wont ask you to stop." He sucked in his breath and let it out slowly before trailing a path of kisses down my jawline, moving to my neck. He stopped and searched my eyes. I nodded, assuring him.
He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked gently. We kissed again, and he let my wrists go so he could hitch my legs up around his waist again. He pushed me against the wall, and we kissed until we were both drunk with lust.
Zuriel hand roams my back and reaches up to brush my hair to a side. My heart was racing and I felt myself shaking crazily. I hope he couldn't see how nervous I was feeling. He lifted his head from mine and I felt his breath fan my cheek when he exhaled. Only then I realised I had my eyes closed. Even then I could feel his eyes gazing my face, hopefully not on so flushed cheeks and my lips.
"What's wrong?" His voice was deeper and god, it sounded so sexy.
"I..."
Could he see how nervous he made me? God, I hoped he didn't. I was well aware what was about to happen. We were told in Sex Ed class and I've seen few cheap R-Rated movies with Analia when we were curious. Yet, I couldn't stop but feel nervous. There was so much I still didn't know. Does the lust take over your body and have no control over the mind and your instincts? Will it be painful experience? Studies have proven the first time for a girl isn't always pleasurable.
I wanted to kiss him but hesitated again and the next I knew he turned me around and pushed me against the wall, caging me with his arms. I gasped when he pressed his lips against my pulse.
"Take off your dress." He whispered in my ear but there was nothing soft about his tone.
"What?" My heart hammered in my throat and I stilled.
We stood like this for a while until he retrieved few steps back as if he was waiting for me to remove the dress. With shaky fingers, I found the zipper but I stopped there not sure what to do. You want this! But did I really? You are ready for this! I bit my lip with nervous anticipation and pulled the zip down. My skin tingled with anticipation. When the zip was at the end I turned around. My gaze shifted to him. His eyes were heavily hooded and lips slightly parted.
Take that!
He must saw the challenge in eyes because he smirked meaningfully and took a step forward. Next thing I knew, his lips were on mine again and his hands touching my bare back. I felt like everywhere he touched me, it left a trail of fire. We both were interrupted by a loud ringtone. He groaned in frustration and pulled back. His hands were inside his pocket, searching for the phone. He cursed softly under his breath when the phone kept ringing. I laughed softly and pulled him back to another kiss. His phone forgotten again but the other person was persistent. We both pulled apart. Our eyes shifted down to the caller name and we both stilled.