Chapter 52 Broken

Flashback
"I'll promise to behave." He smirked, his hand gripping my waist and squeezing it lightly and I was pretty sure I was a shade redder. No words were spoken for a while. We were both were lost in our thoughts but I noticed, Arran didn't retreated like he did in past.
"I'll..." I pointed at the bathroom and made a run to it. Only when the door was locked, I let out a huge breath.
My hands were clammy; my breath was coming out in short pants. Wow, what is going on? This is not how I imagined it would go. I paced around.
After removing my make up and brushing my teeth with disposal toothbrush, I sat on the edge of the tub not knowing what to do. I still had my dress on and as much as I love it, I'm not sleeping on it.
I wasn't sure where we were heading towards but once in my lifetime I didn't wanted to overthink. Without second thought I removed my dress and picked one of his T-shirt that was hanging on the back of the door. It was grey and felt incredibly soft against my skin. I unlocked the door and stepped outside. Without even looking at him, I could feel his gaze all over my body. I wanted to dive in the bed but his hand on my arm stopped me. He held my eyes with his penetrating gaze as if he wasn't sure of something. His lashes lowered to my lips and my lips tingled. His fingers ever so slowly caress my skin and my pulse doubled. Just his mere touch makes my breathing go abnormal.
God, I sound so stupid. Luckily, he steps back and my gaze slides to his broad shoulder and down to his pants, which I swear was unintentional, to where the evidence of his desire was pretty prominent.
Oh, wow.
My thoughts were going down the wrong road but I couldn't help it. Something deep stirred in his eyes and I wondered if he knew what I was thinking and I really hope he didn't.
Look away... look away... God dammit Emberly, you're staring at his hard on! Look away!
"Uhm, okay..." I whispered because honestly, I didn't know what else to say. He lips twitched and much to my disappointment he went to the direction of the bathroom.
I pulled back the dark duvet cover and dived in as quickly as I could. I caught his familiar musky scent and breathed in. I could hear water running in the bathroom and after a while Zuriel emerged from the bathroom wearing nothing but only a black brief. I froze and tried to make my breathing even. This is not working. I should've left. It did nothing but made me appear like a ragging teenager. If I thought Zuriel was impressive when he was dressed, this half naked Zuriel was a whole new level. I closed my eyes tightly and pulled the covers up to my chin.
He turned the main light off and the bed dipped under his weight and I held my breath. He left a space between our bodies and I turned, facing the other way. It wasn't the first time he asked me to sleep with him. He did before too but that time he probably didn't realise what he was doing. A minute or few passed by and we remained silent.
"I am sorry for jumping on you." I blurted and shut my eyes in embarrassment. I heard him shifting and then he spoke softly
"Trust me Zuriel, I didn't mind..."
"I just didn't knew what to do... I have never been in this situation ever. I mean I have kissed but never had sex... but I am not as innocent as I seem... I know what happens but at the same time I don't as I never..."
He rolled suddenly, and before I could take my next breath, I was flat on my back and he was hovering above me. My eyes widened. He dipped his face lower. I tried to keep my breathing steady but my blood was roaring once again.
His eyes lowered and ever so softly he placed a chaste kissed on my lips. And just like that he was back on his side of the bed. I touched my lips; they were swollen under my fingers. He said nothing. No explanations.
I was okay with the silence as it gave me a time to get used to his proximity. I was much calmer now. Just when I thought I could sleep peacefully, Zuriel closed the remaining space, pressing his from to my back. Suddenly, I realised how thin the material of his shirt was. I could feel his hard body and I mentally shook my head to still keeping my heart on line.
"Zuriel... what are you doing?" I whispered.
"Trying to sleep." He whispered back in my ear, dropping his arm over my waist.
"Sleep, Brielle." He demanded softly.
"I can't.... not with you this close. Distract me." I managed to reply back. He chuckled.
"Do you want to go over the project we are working on?" His tone was mischievous and I jabbed him in his ribs. He laughed and my smile broadened. With his warm chest pressed and long legs cradling mine, I felt relaxed.
Maybe, I didn't know much about him. His past still remained mysterious but for once it didn't bothered me much. Sure, I was curious but I knew when the right time would be here, he will tell me. I wasn't even sure where this will lead us or what it made us but I knew that more than wanting to kiss him endlessly, I wanted to get to know him properly. I wanted to understand him and I wanted to spend time knowing him and hearing what he is thinking about. What goes in his head when he frowns, when his eyes crinkles and when his lips would curve up in a small smile.
I wasn't sure if I... if I would be able to survive without getting my heart broken. His love for Carly will never let him move on and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Despite all the fears, Zuriel was the risk that was worth taking.
Flashback end.