The outburst..
RYAN
Her breathy moans filled the tiny room,her nails grazing down my back in a way that was supposed to feel good but instead,it grated on my nerves. The excitement I felt earlier already faded..fast
I didn't know why but suddenly, everything about her Irritated me,her fingers,her voice,the smell of her perfume,even her moans.
"Ryan.." she purred,lips trailing along my neck. My jaw clenched
It should've been enough to keep going but it wasn't...not anymore. My mind frustratingly kept drifting to a certain brown haired
Violet
I hadn't stopped thinking about the look on her face when she saw us. The surprise,the judgmental eyes she looked at me with. Something twisted in me when I saw her..it made me feel a bit off balance.
"Babe let's..." The girl started but I pulled away from her ignoring the way her lips thinned into a frown.
"I'm done" I muttered without sparing her a glance as I reached for my shirt.
"W-what? You can't be serious?" She stared at me with cheeks flushed, standing there half naked,her hard nipples pointing at me.
I didn't care.
“I just said I'm done”
“You can't be..” she trailed her fingers around my lips and I felt the sudden urge to throw up. “We haven't really started”
I grabbed her hands back feeling completely irritated.
Someone needs to tell me how I found a girl who kept throwing herself to me at the mall attractive
“Don't you dare do that again” I said coldly,her eyes fixed intently on her as I tightened my grip on her hands.
“Let me go..” she winced and only then did I drop it.
I yanked the door open without a second glance. Let her be pissed. I didn't care. She was just a distraction afterall. A distraction that clearly didn't work. I pushed my way out of the fitting room, leaving the girl behind,her voice calling after me.
As I stepped out,all that filled my head was Violet. Her name kept buzzing in my head like an itch I couldn't scratch. Why the hell did I care that she saw me? Why does it matter what she thinks?
I rubbed a hand over my face. This was ridiculous. She didn’t even know me, not really. And I didn’t need her approval, or anyone’s. I lived my life the way I wanted, and if Violet didn’t like it….
Scratch that. Why was I thinking about Violet? It's probably because I hadn't taken anything except coffee. That's the problem with an empty stomach. Once you ignore them, their hunger creeps its way into your mind and you start overthinking things.
I dropped into my car and drove straight home. By the time I got home,my mind was still in a mess, the anger from earlier swirling inside me. I didn't even know why I was so pissed off, but the moment I stepped through the door, it intensified.
Why do I feel this way? Why the hell do I care? Why does her reaction at the store keep replaying in my head like an endless loop?
Slamming the door of the car shut,I headed into the house.
The moment I stepped through the door,I saw her in the living room, reading one of her books like she always did. She didn't even look up when I entered and somehow that made me even furious
Why didn't she say anything? Why didn't she acknowledge my presence? Why didn't she say something about what she saw at the store? Was she too good for that? Too damn righteous?
I trudged to where she sat and still,she didn't spare me a glance,she kept her eyes glued to the book she was reading
“Say something” I snapped
She looked up with her confused blue eyes. “About?”
“Don't act like you didn't see me at the store with that lady” I spatted,my frustration simmering beneath the surface.
Her brows furrowed, totally taken aback by my sudden outburst
“Uhm..what do you expect me to say? I don't think it's my place to..”
“Exactly” I cut her off,my voice rising. “You're always too good to say anything. Just sitting there acting like you're so damn perfect”
She flinched slightly and for some seconds,I regretted saying it but my frustration outweighed every other feeling.
“God, you're so pathetic” I continued. “Always hiding behind those stupid books, acting like you're smart whereas you aren't. You don't even have the guts to speak your mind. You just sit there,never standing up for yourself,never speaking your mind. What's wrong with you huh?”
Sadness flashed in her eyes as I spoke but I was too frustrated to back down. The more I spoke, the angrier I became, and the more I reveled in it. Anger was easier than trying to deal with whatever else was going on inside me..
“Always trying to please others even when it's obvious it's not what you want? You let everyone walk over you and you're too scared to push back”
Her lips parted slightly and I could see the hurt growing in her eyes. Her hands only clenched around the book she was holding and I wished she would say something but she didn't. That only made me angrier.
“Say something! Are you going to sit there and let me talk to you like this? Because that's what you do. You take it,sit there and nod and pretend like it doesn't mean anything but it does, right? You're just too weak”
Her lips trembled. She looked at me with those eyes and I hated myself for speaking to her that way but I couldn't stop. I was far too gone.
It wasn't just about her. It was about everything. The frustration of losing interest in the things that used to distract me, all because of her. The annoyance of watching her let everyone walk all over her without standing up for herself. It all boiled over, and the only thing I could focus on was how mad I was—at her, at myself, at everything.
“You don't even know who you are” my voice came out low this time. “It's pathetic”
Silence hung between us. She just sat there,her eyes gleaming with unshed tears, looking at me like I just shattered her entire world.
Without another word,I turned and left... retreating to my room.
I slammed the door shut behind me, seeking refuge in my painting studio.
As I grabbed the brush and started painting,I expected the anger to melt away but instead of relief,all I felt was an empty hollow ache gnawing at my chest
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