BONDING BACK

VIOLET

The knock at my door was soft. I blinked away the remnant of the sleep clinging at my eyes.

“Can I come in?” My mom's voice rang out from outside and I froze.

What was she doing here? We hadn’t really spoken since what happened the other time. Could she know about what happened between me and Ryan? My face flushed at the thought, a rush of heat rising to my cheeks before it faded in cautious relief.

“Yes come in” I finally mustered.

She flung the door open and I half-expected her to walk in with that familiar, critical look, already ready to point out something that wasn’t quite up to her standards.

But today, when she walked in, there was an unfamiliar softness in her eyes

“Violet,” she said, lingering by the doorway

. Her voice was gentle, the sharpness I’d braced myself for nowhere to be found. “Are you free today? I thought we might spend some time together. Maybe go out for a little shopping?”

I blinked, taken aback. My mother didn’t just “spend time.” But this…this felt different.

“Shopping?” I asked, a bit uncertain, searching her face for a hint of the usual agenda.

She nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Yes. Just the two of us. I thought it might be nice.”

A part of me wanted to question her. But another part of me—a softer, more vulnerable part—yearned for exactly this. Just a moment of warmth, of feeling like I mattered.

So, instead of questioning her, I found myself nodding. “Alright, Mom”

Her smile widened, and for a brief moment, she looked…relieved. She took a careful step toward me, her gaze drifting around my room. I could see her noticing the little things: my messy bed, the stack of half-read novels on my nightstand, the pens scattered across my desk.

Normally, she’d have made a comment, a subtle critique wrapped in polite phrasing. But today, she just looked, absorbing it without a word.

“Let me know when you're done” she said,and there was an uncharacteristic warmth in her tone before she closed the door and left.

I let out a long breath, almost in relief. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d done something like this. Well,I actually needed it. Maybe this would help clear my head after everything that had happened yesterday. A small smile threatened to break free as I pushed the covers aside and headed for the bathroom.

After a hot shower and a few careful wardrobe choices, I finally made my way downstairs, feeling oddly light.

Great enough,Ryan wasn't home yet..

A part of me let out a sigh of relief. After what happened yesterday, I wasn’t sure I was ready to face him, especially with everything still so raw in my mind. I hadn’t slept well because of it. And now, this morning, he wasn’t home yet. Where could he be? Probably with Evelyn finishing what I couldn't do?

I pressed my lips together, trying to brush off the thought. This wasn’t the time to think about Ryan.

I glanced up and mom was waiting near the door, looking up as I approached.

We walked into the car together and swift into the seat. We drove in comfortable silence, the hum of the engine filling the gaps where, usually, words and instructions might have been.

Minutes later, We pulled into the mall parking lot, and as we got out, I couldn't help but notice the almost whimsical expression on my mom’s face.

Once inside, we walked into one of the larger clothing stores, and she took the lead,guiding us through the aisles.

As we passed a rack of dresses, she stopped, pulling out a soft lavender dress with delicate lace detailing. She held it up, examining it before turning to me.

“This would look lovely on you. Or what do you think? she asked, her voice soft, warm.

“Huh?” The word slipped out in surprise, and I quickly tried to mask it. She wanted my opinion?

Usually, she’d simply pick something and declare it the right choice for me. But now, here she was, holding the dress up with an expectant look in her eyes, actually wanting to know what I thought.

I glanced at the dress, taking in the gentle lavender shade. “Yes, it’s nice,” I managed to say, giving a small nod. I could see her face light up as she placed it in the basket, seemingly satisfied.

We moved on through the store, picking out a few more outfits, and each time, she’d ask, “What do you think?” or “Does this feel like you?”

I found myself easing into it, offering opinions, feeling heard in a way. There was something so natural about it, this new rhythm between us, that I almost forgot the way things usually were.

After a while, we left the store with a few bags in hand and strolled through the mall, eventually stopping by a little popcorn stand. She ordered for us, and before long, we were both holding bags of warm popcorn, stepping out into the sunshine and making our way to a nearby park.

We found a bench overlooking a small playground. Kids were running around, laughing, parents close by. I watched a few of them play on the swings, their shouts filling the air, and I could feel my mom’s eyes on me, a gentle smile tugging at her lips.

“Do you remember when you were younger?” she asked, her tone light, almost teasing. “We used to bring you here with your dad. You were so terrified of the swings back then.”

I felt a laugh bubble up as I remembered the memory she’d brought up.

“Oh gosh, I was a mess,” I shook my head with a chuckle. “I used to think the swing would somehow throw me out into space.”

She laughed, a genuine sound that made me feel warm all over. “You’d cling to the swing, barely letting me push you. And if I tried to push you just a little higher, you’d shriek and make this horrified face,” she said, mimicking my childhood reaction with wide eyes and a gasp.

We both burst out laughing, the sound mingling with the happy noises around us.

“Mom, I was so young then!” I said, still laughing.

“Yes, but you were adorable,” she replied, her tone softening as she looked at me, almost like she was seeing me with fresh eyes.

As our laughter began to fade, my mom's smile softened, and her gaze grew distant. She took a shaky breath, her fingers tracing the edge of her popcorn bag before she looked at me, her eyes brimming with something raw.

“Violet,” she began. “I’m…so sorry for everything. I’ve done you wrong, my angel. After your father passed, it was like…like a part of me just shut down. I became a ghost of myself.” Her voice wavered, and her eyes glistened with tears she was barely holding back.

“I distanced myself, and in that distance, I know I left you alone. I want you to know it wasn’t your fault. None of it.”

A tear slipped down her cheek, and I could feel my own throat tightening as her words sank in.

“I took it out on you,” she continued. “I thought that by putting expectations on you, by…forcing these things I thought you needed, that I was doing right by you. Without your dad, I felt so lost, like I had to be both strong and strict. But now…I see it was too much, too stuffy for you. I thought I knew what was best, but I see now that I was only pushing you away.” She paused “I’m so sorry, Violet. So, so sorry.”

The sincerity in her voice broke through a wall in me I hadn’t realized was there, and before I knew it, I was blinking back tears too, the weight of years of misunderstandings and unmet expectations filling the quiet space between us.

She reached out, touching a stray strand of my hair.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, her smile breaking through the tears that streamed down her cheeks. “Even after everything, after all I put you through, you’ve managed to become this beautiful, resilient young woman—my beautiful princess.”

Her fingers grazed my cheek, and I leaned into her touch, feeling the warmth that I’d missed so much.

“You’re so lovely, Violet, and I promise you, I won’t force things on you anymore. I’ll listen to you. I don’t care if you prefer baggy outfits. I don’t care which university you choose, as long as it’s something you truly want. If it brings you happiness and purpose, then I’ll support you in it. Always.”

Her words soothed the ache I’d carried for so long. I wrapped my arms around her, feeling her arms wrap tightly around me in return. We stayed like that for a moment, both of us clinging to each other as if to make up for all the years we’d let slip by in silence.

When we finally pulled back, I saw her eyes searching mine, a smile playing on her lips.

She dabbed her eyes with the corner of her sleeve, laughing softly. “Goodness, look at us. Sitting here crying in the middle of a park,” she said with a sniffle, giving a little laugh.

I laughed too, the heaviness in my chest lifting. “I guess we needed it.”

“Maybe so,” she murmured, her hand squeezing mine one last time. She looked around at the sunny, bustling park. “You know, since we’re here, maybe we should try out the swings again?”

A grin spread across my face as I shook my head.

“Mom, I don’t think either of us needs to relive that.”

“Oh, come on,” she teased. “This time I promise I won’t push you too high. Just a little for old time’s sake?”

I laughed. And for once, I felt like that little girl again, with her mother by her side, safe and loved. Together, we walked toward the swings, knowing this time, things would be different.