Chapter twenty seven

She hated him! That bastard.
How dare he do that to her? Crystal sat next to her bedroom window. Staring out at the clear sky. It was morning and she intended to spend the entire Sunday in her room. She had not slept a wink the previous night. How could she after what had happened. She had not even gone back to bed, preferring to just gaze out until dawn appeared.
He made her cry.
It was stupid and pointless and very very childish the reason why. But she had cried. She had cried because she could not bring herself to forget how he had walked out on her. How it felt to be rejected like that. How it made her feel to know that maybe he did not like her the same way she liked him. That there was a chance all he was doing was messing with her.
Like a mind game of sorts.
It hurt.
It hurt because she had been willing. She felt..... she was not sure what she felt but she felt something and she had honestly thought he had felt it too. But then he had walked out just like he always did!!
The memory made the pain slip back in, and along with the pain came the tears. Welling up in her eyes until she felt like they were scorching. She did not want them to fall. That would be giving him the right to hurt her even in his absence. But how could he be so cruel? So mean and so unthoughtful.
Crystal sniffled back a cry, the tears rolling down her cheek and her self-esteem feeling broken. Men were such horrible people! But Nick led that line, he was at the forefront of it.
But what sucked the most was that despite all of that, she still could not stop thinking about him. Whether in the positive or the negative, she never could stop.
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Shifting swiftly from foot to foot Nick landed another punch on the punching bag in the house gym. Trying to relieve even a small fraction of the frustration he was feeling.
Just what was wrong with him?
His body was starting to feel the effects of his gruesome work out. And he liked the physical pain because maybe it would replace whatever it is he was feeling inside. He punched the bag as hard as he could, making it sway with each blow it received. Trying to get her image out of his head. That look she had given him as he walked out of that cursed kitchen. He growled at the thought as he roughly pushed the punching bag aside with both hands. Then he buried them into his hair, clutching it in fists.
He wanted it to stop. What ever it was he wanted it to leave him alone. That feeling he wasn't familiar with but that made his life unbearable because of the heaviness it carried with it. Running a hand over his face he sighed.
Trying to figure out what to do, because he knew what came next after this. Being ignored. And he was not willing to endure that, he had to see her. Even if he was sure she did not share his thoughts. He had to try and make things right. Something he had never done before. But truth be told, taking this job was one decision he regretted. Because now he had no idea of who he was and he was in fear of what was going on.
Apart from Matt and Brianna he had never cares for another person. And now..... now here he was. Spending each passing moment of the day wondering about a girl he knew almost nothing about. Afraid of the consequences his actions would have on her. He hated himself for being the selfish person that he was. He saw how she looked at him. He wasn't a fool and neither was he blind.
He was aware that she had feelings for him. He didn't know to what extent but he knew they were there. And instead of bursting her bubble and making her realise the futility of those same feelings, he was using them to his advantage.
He was using HER to his advantage.
And telling himself that he would stop was no use. He had tried it already, but the moment he saw her or got close to her all those imaginary boundaries he set for himself were replaced by the urge to touch her. If he could control it he would have done so long ago. He sat on a bench and ran a hand through his dark hair, frustration was not a feeling he favoured.
He decided to wait and see if she would come out of her room, and if she didn't then he would take that as his cue to try and fix things somehow. He just needed to try and talk to her without his fucking cock getting in the way. Because there was no need to deny the truth. He cared for her, a lot. And he would never be able to forgive himself if caused her permanent damage.
That was one thing that had been made clear by yesterday's event. If he ever hurt her then he would despise himself. He already felt pathetic and all he had done was walk out and leave her aroused. He just hoped that Marcus would be caught so all this torment would be over and he could go back to his old life. Where he didn't have to worry about such things.
" Goodness Crystal, " he said to himself as he locked his fingers together.
Whatever it is he felt for her could not be encouraged. He had to stop it before it was too late. Before he was unable to turn things around. And the only way to do that was try to keep his distance, he had to try as hard as he could.
Though he feared that the predicament was quite clear. It would be the same as always and he would end up doing the same stupid thing. He couldn't stop wanting her. So he just had to try his hardest to prevent himself from actually taking her.
How more unfair could life be!!