Chapter sixty

The days swept by, then the two days turned into five...and suddenly a week ended wuthout either Crystal or Nick seeing each other.
And if Crystal had thought she had experienced heartache then she had never been more wrong, the feeling she felt now was violent. It made her weak and shook her until she was unable to stand on her own. So she stayed in bed for most of the time and waited for the darkness to set in so that she could cry herself to sleep.
Everything seemed so foreign now. The bed, the entire room..the house. She barely recognized any of it anymore. And it didn't feel like home. Not in the way that Nick's place had felt like home.
Her father came to her room a few times and tried to get her to do something... anything, but she ignired and shut him off. She shut herself off.
At first she had thought she could be strong and move on without Nick..but that was, simply put, impossible. She loved him too much to brush him aside like some afterthought.
On Wednesday the following week, her nanny asked her whether she ought to send Aiden for her things. And the thought scared her, if she went and got her things from his place, then it would be official that they had broken up.
So she shook her head and said that she would go and get them herself. And while she was in the shower all she could think about was how he hadn't even tried to call or text her. Not even once, and that hurt more than anything.
She wore jeans and a t-shirt and left, finding Aiden waiting for her outside. He held the door open for her and she got in. On the way she registered nothing, and she was caught off guard when they got there, Aiden had to call her repeatedly just to get her attention. She glanced outside, at the building she had resided in for the past few months. And she wanted to cry all over again.
She got off the car and headed inside, asking Aiden to wait when he wanted to accompany her inside. She took the elevator and tried to take deep breaths to steady her pounding heart. She had ridden the same elevator so many times before, but now it made her feel claustrophobic.
When it stopped and the doors opened, she swallowed anxiously and stepped out. The door was only a couple of steps away, but she wasn't able to walk towards it without staggering. She closed her eyes and the memories flooded in with such force she almost trembled.
It was as if she had completely forgotten what had happened in the last few weeks, like she had been living in an illusion and now she couldn't differentiate between what was legit and what was not.
She stood outside his door for only God knows how long, reaching for the knob but unable to turn it. Then eventually, she gained enough courage to do so and opened up the door, walking inside like she feared it was haunted and there were ghosts lurking inside.
And once she was in, she frowned.
The place was surprisingly clean...and was that a new lamp??
She looked around, spotting the new plants which seemed to be well taken care of, but most importantly, she saw at least five of her paintings hang on the walls. There was even one in the kitchen above the oven.
She shut the door gently behind her and stepped in.
That wasn't the house of someone who was going through an emotional crisis!!
Because yes, she had been selfish enough to anticipate bottles of alcohol splattered all over the floor.
Miguel had visited her at home a couple of times, though she had been too depressed to care about what he said, she had heard that Nick hadn't been charged for anything. He was his lawyer, and according to what Nick had told him, the detective had been willing to throw the case under the rug. Said he understood what drove Nick to do what he did.
Crystal had been relieved when she heard that, and she had expected Nick to go and visit her then. But he never had.
And now she could see why. The guy had been going on living his life while she had been miserable and suffering unimaginable torment
She paced around for a bit, wondering whether he was there or not. Then her question was answered when she felt him in the room. She turned towards the pantry door in the kitchen and saw him. He was staring at her with ....Christ!! what exactly was that look?
Relief? shock? Intensity?... it was a mixture of all those things. She looked at how well put together he looked, hair combed neatly, his black suit perfectly intact, the suit jacket hekd in his hand.
For a while neither said anything. Then Nick placed his coat on the island , walked over to the fridge and held the door open as he stared inside.
" Mango or passion? " he then asked and Crystal's eyes narrowed in undeniable confusion.
" What? "
" Juice. Do you want mango or passion, I haven't tasted the passion yet but the salesman assured me it was great. "
Crystal said nothing.
" Passion it is then, "
Crystal was too exhausted so she sank down on the sofa and burried her head in her hands. Wondering what was going on.
Nick served two glasses of passion juice and brought one over to her, extending his hand to her and placing it on the small coffee table on the side of the sofa when she refused to take it.
Then he sat down next to her, close enough that his warmth encaged her in that all too familiar way.
" I came to get my things, "
Nick gave her a curt nod and took a sip of the juice.
" You look tired, " he then said and Crystal scoffed, then she attempted to stand only to have Nick pull her down again, and considering how weak she was, it didnt take much effort.
" You haven't been eating. "
" And you're a selfish bastard!! " Crystal snapped. Then she huffed out a long and exhausted breath before she attempted to stand again. And this time, Nick placed his glass down, wrapped a hand around her waist and pulled her down to sit across his lap. She writhed and turned in an agitated effort to get away from him.
" Careful! " he warned, " I haven't touched you for goodness knows how long and you moving around like that isn't helping. "
Crystal stilled, then she turned and looked him right in the eyes. The grey of his almost making her forget what she was about to say. Almost.
" You're cruel! "
" Really now? "
" Yes. And I would really like it if you just let me take my things and go! "
Nick reached up and freed her hair from the ponytail she had held it in. She hated how instantly she responded to his touch. He was right about one thing, it had been too long since he touched her how she craved to be touched. He cupped her cheek and she involuntary leaned into his touch.
" We both know you don't want to go. The same way we know that's not why you're here, right? "
She clawed for some restraint...some control. He had basically abandoned her for chrissake!
" Let me be. "
" No. "
Nick slightly tightened the hold he had around her waist. She looked so worn out and he knew it was mostly his fault. And the guilt he felt was almost too much to bear, but he had his reasons for not reaching out to her. He had to sort his shit out first.
And he was about to explain all that to her when he felt her trembling in his arms, and when he looked at her he realised she was crying and trying to hold it in unsuccessfully.
His heart broke the same way it had when he left the hospital room over a week ago.