Chapter fifty nine

In his head the answer had been a clear pounding no.Since his childhood he had always known that was the case. It was as clear as it could be.
He did not want kids.
Crystal exhaled deeply and he looked up at her. So that's what it had always been about. She wanted a normal family with the kids and the picket fence.And a partner who had a job that did not involve taking other people's lives.
"Crystal.." he began, unsure of what exactly he wanted to say. But she slightly shook her head and asked him to let it be. She loved him. Her love for that man was both undeniable and immeasurable. It was completely noble. But would it be strong enough to make her push aside her wishes for the sake of their relationship.
And what about all the issues between them that were still unresolved?
This sucked especially because everything had been going on so well before. She stood up and smoothed her hand over her jeans.
" The doctor said I could leave today, " she informed him as he also stood. She awaited a response but got nothing.
" I called my dad...." the words were almost like a whisper. He looked up at her and knew just what she meant. She wasn't leaving with him.
He knew that she had patched things up with her father and that they still in the process of reconnecting. And he knew that she was pretty much saying goodbye at that point.
" So that's it? Just like that?"
" What do you want me to do Nick?! " Crystal demanded.Then she fisted her hand in her chest and looked around the small space.He sensed her pain along with the hurt she was trying to hide. But looking at her one would never know.She was somehow stronger than usual.
The normal Crystal would be drowning in tears by now. But Nick knew that she was holding it back in for after he left.
" I have invested everything into this relationship. I left my home and my job...and that was okay because I had you--"
" You still have me , "
Slapping a hand to her forehead Crystal paced the space a couple of times before she turned back to Nick.
" But will it be enough? "
She was enough for him. So why wouldn't he be enough for her.Nick let the question dry in his throat. But it was becoming all the more clear that they had very different expectations of the future. He had always known but he chose to ignore the subject hoping that they would never have to broach it.
Yet here they were.
There was a knock on the door, then her dad called out her name.
" Yeah um... I'll be out in a second.."
Nick maintained his composure. A second... that's all they had.
Deep down, Crystal was hoping that he would pit up some sort of resistance. I mean, the guy had even cried when she was unconscious. So it shocked her when all he did was stand there and watch her pick up her bag. This was the Nick she had first met. His expression portrayed no emotion and he seemed not at all affected by her leaving.And that only served to hurt her even more.
She bought herself a few more minutes, and there was nothing that was said in those minutes.
He tucked his hands in his pockets and turned towards the door, staring at it for the longest while.Then he looked at her from about three steps away and mouthed the words "I'm sorry " before he made his way to the door and turned the knob.
" You're everything Crystal. I hope you know that that will never change."
And with that he was gone. Gone like he had never been there to begin with.Crystal was left standing in the middle of the floor wondering what had just happened. She recognized that feeling very well because she used to have it all the time when they first met. When he used to step into a room and have her completely affected by his presence before he disappeared and left her alone.
She had almost forgotten how much it used to hurt.
He had not even tried to fight for their love. She told him she was leaving and his response had been silence. And now he had walked out on her like theirs hadn't been a relationship worth fighting for.Her hands began to shake a little and she felt completely powerless.
Staggering on her weak legs she made her way over to the bed, but she collapsed next to it. A crumbled mess of emotions.Everything she had been holding in since finding out about Hines' death.
She fisted her hands in the covers and tried to make sense of what had just occurred. To her it seemed as if her entire life had just come to a sudden halt.
And it began as a startled sob, shaking her until she was forced to place a hand over her mouth to stifle it.The other arm she wrapped around herself protectively. And with a breaking heart she let the pain take over.
The pain.....
It was a raw and living thing. She felt it digging its talons into her chest and try to pry her apart. The sobs shook her until she could no longer breathe. She felt suffocated and alone, because she actually was.
Nick was everything to her and without him, she doubted she knew who she was. It sounded unhealthy to be so dependent on someone but it was true.
So how was she expected to live when half of her heart had just walked out on her??