Chapter thirty three

After grabbing a bite from the kitchen and checking on her dad, Crystal went back upstairs. She kept her eyes on her own door. She had told Aiden that she wanted him to stay with her dad instead.
She took one step after another. And she managed to walk past Nick's door. It was hard. Because there was no way she would be able to pass that hall and not think about him. A fact that would have bothered her had she not been thinking about him all along.
But then two steps afterwards, she stopped and stood fixed to the spot. Aiden had told her that Nick had left him in charge of her safety. And that he barely saw him around anymore. Which meant that her suspicions were probably right and he had left already. Shaking her head, she walked towards her door. But she was unable to unlock it.
" Goodness Crystal, you're acting stupid! " she scolded herself as she turned her focus to the room two doors away. Biting her lip, she fought with herself. She wanted to go and check for herself whether it was true that he had gone. But if she did that then it would just be proof of how crazy she was about the guy. And it went against her resolution to forget him.
So she turned her knob and took a step inside her own room, only to groan and step back out immediately after.
Then she looked around, deciding that it wasn't that big a deal. She was just curious and that was it. And all she was going to do was do a quick check and then head back to her room.
Besides, she needed clarity. And she would only get that by knowing whether or not he had left.
So with her mind made up, she cautiously walked over to his door. Pausing outside for few seconds. She was certain that he was not at home. And it was around seven at night. Or maybe eight. The point was that it was night time and she had no idea when he would return. That was if he actually would.
Which was why she had to just get it over with and look inside.
Reaching for the knob, she turned it and opened up the door a fraction. She didn't want anyone catching her so all she was going to do was peer inside. And she did. It was dark. She couldn't see a thing.
A factor that drove her to do yet another stupid thing that she hoped she wouldn't regret. She stepped inside and flicked the light switch on. Locking the door behind her. The room was perfectly arranged. The bed well-made and everything seemed to be in its place. But she still needed proof of whether he had actually quit and left. So she walked to the closet.
In her mind she could picture what she was doing and she knew that it seemed really obsessive and stalker like. But she was unable to stop. It was like a drive within her that urged her in. That told her that she would not be any chance be able to move on if she didn't know whether he had left. Because if he had, then she could move on and forget him. And if he hadn't, then she would know to try and avoid any chance of meeting with him.
Reaching out, she opened up the closet.
All his clothes were still there.
They had been neatly hung and arranged. Several suit jackets and crisp white shirts. And his black T-shirts and jeans. She had seen what she wanted. Now it was time to leave.
But instead, she found herself trailing her fingers across his clothes. His room smelt so much like him, and the nice smell was strongest in his closet. As if his clothes absorbed the addictive scent straight from his skin.
She stood there for minutes, just breathing in. Telling herself that she was being very stupid, but not caring enough to listen to her own advice. Besides, it was early and he was definitely not coming back any time soon. So she reached out and pulled out one of his T-shirts. He had quite a number of them. And they were basically all the same.
Her intention was to simply study it, just hold onto it for a while then put it right back. But then a minute turned into two, then three before it skipped to five. Five minutes of her standing beside his closet just clutching onto his shirt and breathing in his scent.
And if she had been in her normal state of mind, then she would have probably realised how not okay she really was.
But she was sleep deprived, hurt, tired, confused and just down right uncaring of any anything at the moment. So instead of putting the shirt back as she was supposed to, she wore it over her simple top and sweats. Then she slowly began roaming the room. Just trailing her fingers across the wall while she hummed to herself.
She went to the center of the room and did a twirl. She wasn't smiling or laughing.... she was just blank.
Walking to the window, she looked outside. It was dark and there were stars spread throughout the entire sky. But today she didn't care to admire the beauty. And it didn't seem wise to be standing next to the window like that. She didn't feel safe. Especially not after what had happened to her dad. Even with all the guards there, she was constantly on edge. And the smallest things scared her.
It was also another reason as to why she hadn't been able to get any sleep lately. The simplest sounds scared her. She even suspected that some of them were just a pigment of her imagination but they still managed to frighten her to death.
She had closed all her curtains and always made sure to lock her door. And since her dad was discharged, she hadn't been out of the house once. She barely even left her room. And she was scared to look out the window or stand on the balcony because she felt as if someone was watching with the aim of gunning her down.
Nick was the only person whose presence made her feel safe.
And as long as Hines was out there, she would live in constant fear and worry. Just wondering if and when he would strike. And if she would actually get through this in one piece.
Walking over to his bed, she smoothed her hand over the covers. Sighing as she delighted in the softness of the fabric.
He slept there. She pictured him there, and the simple mental image had an effect on her. There were no more tears. She had actually cried so much over the past weeks that they seemed to have dried out. And she felt drained.
She stood up straight, then threw herself face down onto the bed.
God, that felt good.
It smelt so nice...... just like him....... just like.....
Breathing in, she closed her eyes. It was supposed to be for a second. But then she prolonged it. Worst thing she had actually done all day. And that was saying a lot considering just how many stupid things she had done already.
She had no idea what was it on. Just that it felt nice to be lying there. And that she felt exhausted and didn't feel like waking up. So without even realizing it, she slowly drifted off to sleep. Her muscles relaxed and she completely let go.