Chapter fifty

Nick caught up with her after only two steps. Wrapping his hands around her from behind and leaning into her Neck, silently asking her to calm down. That was not now things were supposed to go. He expected her to struggle or try to fight him off so that she could run. But instead he felt her as she relaxed in his hold. Taking her hand he led her outside, then he cautiously pushed her back against the wall next to the door and caged her with his hands on either side.
It was a weekday morning, and as expected, crowds of people filled the sidewalk not too far from where they were. But Nick's focus was entirely on Crystal. She looked up at him, wanting to listen to what he would say. Blaming herself for her reaction when she ought to have let him explain instead. She had no idea what exactly he and Matt had been talking about, but that didn't mean that she should run to conclusions without listening to him.
" Sorry I yelled, " he said, his voice as calm as he could manage to get it. He wanted to start out slow, because he would be telling her the truth. It was different when she had no clue about him, but now that she knew he was keeping something from her then he couldn't lie about what it was.
" It's okay... I shouldn't have run off like that, " reaching up, she placed her hand on his nape, the tips of her fingers slightly digging into his hair. He needed that touch, he needed the reassurance that she was willing to listen.
" Now please tell me what you were talking about back there, there aren't supposed to be any secrets... right? "
That trusting tone was killing him. He gave a curt nod. Cupping her cheek and searching for her eyes until he found them. He wanted to make sure that she would take the news he would give her slowly, and that she would understand why he did it.
" If I tell you, will you promise not to freak out and flee? "
She was starting to get worried, wondering just how serious the matter was. But she still had to trust him, because if the situation were reversed then she would expect the same from him. So she nodded.
" Words Crystal, I need you to assure me that you'll try to understand and that you won't take off running. You CAN'T keep running from me like that. "
" Okay, I promise I won't.. and I'm sorry that I did, I just panicked and... and ---"
" It's okay. "
In her flats she was basically a foot shorter than he was. He rested his chin on the crown of her head, one hand on her nape and the other wrapped around her. He took in a deep breath and she did the same. That was Nick, she was safe with him and she never had to worry about anything when he was with her.
" I love you Crystal..... can you feel it? "
The way his voice sounded when he asked her that, the desperate way in which he held her, and the way his heart beat frantically in his chest. It proved to her that he did.
" Yes. "
Her clarity gave him the strength he needed to finally come clean. No secrets between them....that was what he wanted as well.
" Before I became your bodyguard, I was something else. I did things that I'm not completely proud of, but that was before I ever met you. "
She had filled that void inside him that he was unaware had been empty, and she made him experience and view things in an extremely new light.
" Why?... Miguel said you used to be in the military so I'm sure whatever you did can be justified. "
Christ! Yet another lie he had to defend. Miguel had let that information slip when he and Dahlia had come over the other night. And Crystal had asked him why he had never told her. He could still recall the pride on her face that she had tried to cover with feigned hurt.
" That was a lie... I was never in the military, Matt made the story up to get me out of something and everyone believed him. I never corrected them when they did. "
He felt her grow rigid in his hold for a moment, then she looked up at him with an unsure look. And a second later he felt her as she relaxed yet again.
" Is that the big secret? "
How he wished it was. He was as expert liar as he had mentioned to Matt, he could twist any situation into his favor and he could gain the trust of anyone he wished. But at the moment, all his expertise had deserted him. When it came to Crystal, even his senses betrayed him.
" No, that's not it. I'm afraid it's worse... " she stiffened again, but she also wrapped her arms around him. Trying to tell him that no matter what she was going to stick by him. That they would be able to overcome whatever it was that he had been trying to shield her from. And he took note of the comforting gesture, used it as somewhat of a motivation to keep talking.
" Just tell me, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. And you know that I love you as well so there's no need for you to worry about how I might react. Whatever it is we'll find a way to make it through. "
She was so hopeful and determined. And he wished more than anything else that she was sure of what she was saying and that she would stick to her word. And if she did not even he would not hold it against her.
" I... before I met you I was.... "
He had always been able to say the words to himself. He had accepted who he was and he had never felt any guilt or shame. But now, he couldn't find it in him to confess it to her without fearing that those words would make him lose her. That they would be the tool that would drive her away from him.
" You were what Nick? It's okay you can ---"
" I was an assassin Crystal, a contracted killer. "
She froze.
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The hands she had wrapped around him loosened and fell to her side. She wanted to ask him to repeat what he had just said but she couldn't. She had heard him clearly the first time. She didn't need to hear it again.
She didn't want to hear it again.
He asked her to speak, to say something... anything. But all she did was stand there, she was looking at him but not the way she always did. Her lips parted but no words came out. She had no idea what she had expected him to say but never in a million years would she have guessed that that was what it was.
An assassin.
That meant that he killed people for a living. He took their lives for the sake of money. It wasn't like a bodyguard who killed to protect, he did it so that he could gain from the loss. She refused to accept it. Her brain refused to believe what he had said.
He was Nick, the man she loved. And although he wasn't the most emotionally involved person there was he was still a good person deep down... she knew he was. He didn't kill for sport. That was a reality she refused to accept.
" Crystal, say something, " he begged. Her silence was torment, and the blank look she gave him made terror splurge within him.
" I.. I don't know what to say, " it was a whisper. She moved away from his hold and leaned against the wall.
He expected her to be shocked and angry. To scream at him or to demand an explanation. He wasn't ready for the silence she was gifting him. He knew how to handle stressful situations. If she would have gone crazy and shouted he would have known what to do, if she had started crying and asking him to back off he would have found a way to make her listen. But she did none of those things, all she did was stand there with a look devoid of any kind of emotion or reaction.
That scared him above anything.
" It was in the past, back when I didn't have anyone to worry and care about. But it all changed when I met you. "
He wanted to in turn be the one to shout. To ask her to tell him what she was feeling because at the moment he honestly didn't know. For the first time he was unable to look into her eyes and find the answers he seeked.
" I need to sit.. and some air... " she whispered, stepping aside as she looked past the crowd and at the bench across the street. He followed her eyes.
" Okay, let's go. "
" No. I want to be alone, just a few minutes. "
" Crystal please... "
" I won't run. I promise you I won't. "
That was a small relief. And he felt even more at ease when she stood up on her toes and kissed his jaw. She still looked unsure of her actions, detached from the current reality. But the gentle press of her lips to his skin gave him a tiny bit of closure. And she wasn't going to run unlike all the other times she had gotten mad at him. All he needed was to give her a few minutes to herself so that she could think clearly. And that was precisely what he would do.
" I'll wait here. " he assured her. He would stand right there where he would be able to keep an eye on her. With a distracted nod she stepped on the sidewalk and admist the crowd of people.
Nick looked around his focus on the entire surrounding.He surveilled the area.And it was then that he saw it, a car parked some distsnce away from the diner. He had seen that car before, and a scan of his memory reminded him of where exactly. It had been parked at the back entrance of the cemetery when he had gone there with Crystal. It was an old grey pickup ,and although it had caught his attention back then, he had not paid too much attention to it since it had looked abandoned. But this was too much of a coincidence.
He glanced over at Crystal who was still making her way past the crowd of people. And he looked back at the car, narrowing his vision to check whether there was anyone inside. He wanted to grab Crystal and hold on to her until he made sure that she was safe, but first he decided to check at the car and see if his suspicions were right.
An eye inspection confirmed that there were no shooters around on any of the buildings. And he was still in visual distance from Crystal, but just to make sure, he called Matt from inside, beckoning him to come over, then he asked him to keep an eye on Crystal for him.
Crystal kept her head bowed, she bumped into everyone but just kept going, the bench was only a short distance away, just a few more steps.
She would sit and try to think, because she had no idea about what she was thinking or what was going on in her head.
It was as if she was in a temporary state of shock. Bumping into someone again, she almost fell. But the person steadied her and helped her stand. Head still bowed, mind still in disarray ....she muttered both a thank you and an apology.
But the person never let go....instead, he tightened his grip on her arm.And when she slowly lifted her head, her heart began to pound.