Chapter thirty five

Crystal opened her eyes. Not quite sure about what was going on. The room was different, she vaguely looked around, rubbing her eyes afterwards.
Then it hit her. And she seemed to recall exactly where she was, with her lips pursed and a very horrified look on her face, she turned and looked beside her. Her eyes widening in shock.
Nick was sound asleep.
His features relaxed in a way she had never seen them. He looked much younger like that, his breathing even and his head resting on his arm.
And she was certain that had the situation been different, she would have really taken time to admire the breathtaking sight of him.
But now all she could do was panic as she tried to figure out what exactly was wrong with her. And how she could have been so stupid as to actually break into his room and fall asleep on his bed after he had made it clear that he shared none of the feelings that she did. With a hand clasped over her mouth, she gently pulled the covers away.
Her intention being to get out of there as quickly and as quietly as she could before he woke up. Because if he didn't think that she was a crazy and psychotic stalker before, then he sure did now.
It was nothing less of embarrassing.
And according to the bright sun that she could feel even through the closed curtains, it had to be very late.
So she had both broken into his room and overslept. Just perfect! she thought as she cautiously tiptoed over to the door, her feet making absolutely no sound on the hardwood floor. Reaching out, she turned the knob as gently as she could. Afraid that the door would make that damn creaking sound when she opened it.
But the door made no sound at all, not because she had been extremely careful, but because it refused to open. The panic increased, washing through her in ten folds. She tried again, her heart racing as she turned the knob. And after the fourth try, she stopped. Realising that he had locked her in, whether by accident or not, she was locked in there and it would remain so until she found a way out.
She glanced over at the bedside table to try and find the keys. But there was nothing on there apart from his phone and a gun. Her hands began to tremble as she looked around, her legs growing limp. She saw his jacket on the floor and picked it up to search through the pockets, but the keys weren't in there.
And the possibility of her having to stay still and wait for him to wake up was one she refused to accept. She hit her forehead with the heel of her palm. Scolding herself about the mess she had gotten herself into. Of all the things she could have done!
She looked back at him, he was still asleep. His bare chest rising and falling with his controlled and measured breathing. She nervously bit her lip, wringing her hands with her brows knit and lines creasing her forehead. This is bad.... she thought as she dug her hands into her tangled up hair...this is really bad . At that point, she was willing to climb off the balcony....but she chose not to. It would have probably ended up with her regretting the idea as she fell several feet to the hard ground.
Turning back to the door, she decided to give it another try. She knew for certain that there was no point. But she was desperate and confused.
" This isn't fair... it's not fair !" she angrily thought as she struggled with the freaking knob. He had no doubt seen her when he came back, and that must have been why he locked it. Just to agitate her and have her cornered again. She started growing hysterical, and she let the door be her outlet. Kicking and hitting it as hard as she could while she cursed with words she had never before used.
And the noise was enough to wake Nick up. He sat up, turning to the door where he saw Crystal taking her anger out on the door. He had intentionally locked it, knowing that she would have tried to run out when he began explaining things to her. But he had expected to wake up before her. He glanced at his phone as she continued her assault on the poor door.
It was a half past eight. He had never before in his life woken up so late. Or slept so peacefully. Leaning back down onto the pillows, he locked his fingers together on his stomach.
" What did the door do to get you so worked up? " he lazily asked.
Crystal stilled, she turned on the spot to face him. Or the space around him because she was too embarrassed to actually look at him.
" I want to go, " she barely heard herself. But it seemed as if every last ounce of strength she had had just been sucked out of her.
Nick raised his brows.
" Really? "
she nodded. Her hands wrapped around herself protectively as she tried to stop any kind of thought from entering her head. All she wanted was to be out of there as fast as she could. She felt trapped. Like she was in some sort of cage.
" Fine.. but first tell me why you were in here in the first place. "
" It was an accident. "
She added a little more edge to her voice. Trying to sound as courageous as she could manage.
Nick got off the bed. Standing in her line of sight with his hands in his pockets. He saw how her body tensed when he did ,she was on the verge of taking a step back, but she stopped herself. He was a little disappointed since that would have given him a chance to move in on her.
" So let me get this straight, you ' accidently ' walked into my room and slept on my bed? "
Was that humor she sensed in his tone? Because if so then she didn't liked it.
" Yes, that's exactly what happened, now if you'll please be so kind as to let me out I'd really appreciate that. " She kept her tone as formal as she could. But her hands were now sweating and her heart was pounding so loud she was sure even he could hear it if he listened close enough.
" We have to talk, "
She looked up at him with a frown. Determined not to let him do this, to lure her into his little trap where he was this irresistible and dominant male. Where she would let him do whatever the hell he pleased with her before he came back to his senses and walked away.
" There's nothing to talk about ..."
" Like hell there's not! Come on Crystal, I have something very important to tell you and all I need is for you to listen. "
She shook her head. Then she held out her hands when he took a step towards her, warning him to stay back like he was a vicious creature that wanted to bite her. He felt it. Like a knife had been shoved into his chest. Especially when he saw that she truly was afraid.
Afraid of him!!
That angered him tremendously.
" Look, if this is about what I said then forget it, I didn't mean anything by it . I...I don't know what came over me....maybe it was the stress from everything that was happening, "
Nick opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, so instead he chuckled as he shook his head. And for some deranged reason she just had to realise that that was the first time she'd heard him make the glorious sound. And she couldn't help but stare at him. She loved how crinkles appeared on the corners of his eyes, making his grey eyes soften up.
Then he looked up, and the expression changed. It grew more fierce, more intense. And she was unable to look away.
" Why am I finding it so hard to believe you? " he matter of factly asked. Taking another step towards her with his hands still tucked freely into his pockets. Crystal took another step back. But she made sure that no matter what happened, she was not leaning against any wall. She knew very well how that would end.
" Maybe you chose not to. "
" Or maybe you're lying. "
She fisted a hand into her hair. Getting fed up of the routine.
" Why don't you just let me go already! I'm tired and I don't want to keep on doing this so just open the door and go back to acting like I don't exist! " she snapped though he didn't seem at all affected. He just stood there, looking at her with a look she found impossible to read. Then he strode to where she was, but Crystal jumped aside her hands spread in front of her with determined look on her face.
" I never acted as if you don't exist. "
" Says the guy that literally left and stayed away for God knows how long! "
" It was two days and if you must know those have been the worst two fucking days of my life! "
" Why? did you lose another emotion that you never even had in the first place? "
She was provoking him purposefully. And if the vein ticking at his temple was any indication, she was doing a very good job at it.
" Will you just listen to me? "
" I don't care about anything you have to say, you already made it clear that - " she stopped. Unable to go on because that was one delicate topic she was not ready to discuss. Not now and definitely not any time in the upcoming future. She just wanted to forget that she had ever confessed her love to him.
" That what? Go ahead Crystal, finish the sentence, what exactly is it that I made clear? "
She hated his insisting nature. It was like he enjoyed seeing her uncomfortable. Grunting, she glared at him.
" Forget it! "
" No. "
She saw him walk towards her, and she attempted to run away if she had to, but he was fast. Grabbing both her arms he pushed her back against the wall, pressing himself against her in a way that made it difficult to breathe.
" Stop. Running. From. Me! " he ground the words out. Pressing his forehead to hers as he stopped her attempts at getting free. Then he looked down at her for a second before returning the focus back to her.
" Is that my shirt you're wearing? "
In all the stress to get out of there she had completely forgotten about that. She turned away, her face shaded in a layer of pink. If trying to explain what she was doing in his room had been hard, then this would be a whole other level of complicated.
" Missed me that much huh? "
She struggled against him, really craving her freedom since she got more insecure with every second that passed. He was making her feel more and more like an idiot and she couldn't help but feel like he was just making fun of her.
" Let me go! " she scowled at him and the scowl only intensified to a very intimidating glare on seeing the smug look on his face. So full of pride as he pondered on the image of her actually going through his things and wearing his shirt. And before this he had absolutely hated it when people touched his stuff. Regardless of who they were.
" Don't worry, you can keep it. It looks nice on you but like I said, we have to talk. "
" Talk about what? There's nothing for us to talk about and I'm sure that if I wouldn't have ACCIDENTALLY come into your room then you'd still be avoiding me! "
" I wasn't avoiding you. "
Crystal rolled her eyes. But despite her anger, she was starting to get affected by his closeness. And the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt only made things worse. Such a devil he was! Coming at her with his gorgeous body and that commanding attitude. Two things she was a sucker for.
" Okay, I admit it..... I was avoiding you... BUT.. " he added when she was about to say something.
" It wasn't because I didn't want to see you.... I just, "
Despite her resolve she found herself hanging on his every word. Nick turned his face to the side. Wondering how exactly to say what he wanted to say. It was harder than he'd fucking thought. Those words were there, he just couldn't picture himself saying them. He knew they were true, but each time he tried to say them out loud he was unable to.
But to be fair, this wasn't a conversation he'd ever pictured himself having with anyone so it was only natural for him to not know how to say them.
" ..you just what? "
He took a step back. Letting her go, but she didn't move from where she was. He massaged the back of his neck, his hair still ruffed up from his sleep . From the look on his face one would have thought that he was being pressured into robbing a bank or something. Then he looked up at her rather quizzically before he walked back to where she was.
" Say it again! " he commanded. His hands on either side of her head.
" Say what again? "
" What you said the other day.... say it again! " his voice was rough, and he looked at her like his life depended on it. His eyes unwavering as he took in every detail about her.
" No! "
She completely refused. And there was no way he was going to make her do that, it didn't matter what he did since she was not ever going to repeat those words, not even to herself. And that was a fact she made clear in the following five minutes of them standing there.
" I'm trying to explain something here so please .....just say it again. "
Shaking her head she tried to push him away, and when that didn't work she attempted ducking underneath his arm. An attempt that also failed. Then she asked him what his problem was, and why he wouldn't just let things go.
" Because I NEED to hear you say them okay? And I need to be around you because if not then I'm going to be wasting every passing minute wondering where you are... and what you're doing..... and who you're with! And I need to look at you. To listen to your voice. And to fucking hold you since that's the only time I actually feel like I'm alive. YOU make me feel like I'm alive so for the love of God Crystal..... just say it again. "
He finished off like a plea. A pained look on his face.
And she had to fight to control the ravaging emotions that were now flowing through her. She didn't wonder whether he was being truthful, she could tell that he was. It was clear in the way he talked. But those had not just been mere words, but a confession that had clearly taken a lot out of him just to admit. And that touched her heart. But not as much as the desperate way in which he was looking at her.
There wasn't that pride or ignorance. Nor the nonchalance that usually made it seem as if he didn't care even a bit about anything. They were true words, sincere and heartfelt. And they moved her immensely, touched a place inside her that had never before been touched. And that look, it was almost like the compassionate one he had worn at the hospital. Only more open, laced with even more care. An open display of affection she had never expected from this clearly rogue bodyguard of hers.
Taking her hand, he placed it on his chest. Right where his heart was. Then he looked at her and raised his brows. She swallowed, realising that she would afterall be repeating those words. And she didn't mind that at the moment, she actually wanted to say them again. Had been secretly wanting to since the last time she did because saying them out loud made her insides twitch in an exhilarating way.
" I- "
" No.... " he cut in. One hand on the one she had on his chest and the other reaching up to cup her cheek.
" Start with my name, just like you did the last time. "
She looked down but he tugged at her chin and angled her to look up at him again. Then he waited for a second before she finally said them.
" Nick, I love you. "
And with that he pressed her hand into his chest. Where she felt his heart gaining speed little by little until it felt like a drum in his chest.
" Feel that Crystal? That's my response to you. " and at the moment it was all he could give until he was able to say the words back. But words or not, she heard him loud and clear.