Chapter sixty one

Crystal wanted to punch him in the chest until he couldn't breathe, or claw at his face and leave permanent scratches on his smooth skin.
She wanted him to hurt with the same intensity she had been hurting, but instead there she was. A victim of his silent charm yet again. And instead of hitting him, she was crying against his chest like the weak soul that she was. Nick dug a hand in her hair and pulled her closer. Indulging in the closeness he had missed and pondering on exactly what to do to make her feel better.
" Hush now, come on baby just calm down. "
She was always a goner after he called her like that. With the sheer tenderness and care that proved how much she meant to him. But she was still hurting.
" I was miserable! " tears flowed freely and stained his shirt, she made an attempt to hit him but ended up grasping onto him even more.
" I couldn't even think straight. It hurt so bad!!" she looked up at him, rage in her red swollen eyes, then this time she actually did hit him, it was a weak punch and he barely felt it but as long as he got the point.
" All while you were out buying new lamps and plants!! Did you even care about me? About my feelings? "
Nick closed his eyes, then he curved his hand around her nape and placed his forehead on hers. Breathing her in. Absorbing in her presence and trying to forget that he ever survived without her. If you could even call that survival.
" I love you Crystal, " he didn't say anything else for a while. He had been craving to tell her that so much he thought he'd go mad if he didn't utter the words first. He needed her to hear them..like really hear them.
He needed for them to sink into her very heart.
She sniffled back a cry and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Feeling like a lovesick teenager who had just gotten her heart broken for the very first time.
Nick did that to her.
He broke her apart, made her lose it, then with one word, one gentle touch...he had her feeling like she was all that mattered.
" There's not a second that passed by when I didn't want to drive over to that house and take you with me... actually on several occasions I did start driving there, "
And by several occasions he meant the first four days after she had left. Each day he would wake up expecting to turn and find her awake next to him, timing for him to open his eyes so that she would tell him that she loved him. But then he would remember that she wasn't there and get hit by the ugly reality. And in return he'd go out of his mind, pace around before he grabbed his keys and left to go get her. But he never got there.
" And why didn't you? "
" Because...you were right. We had different thoughts about the future. You knew what you wanted out of yours while I preferred to just let whatever happened happen, "
She found herself lying her head on his shoulder.
" Plus, if I recall correctly, it was your choice leave me, "
" Don't you dare use that against me! You lied to me and went behind my back.." she kept quiet for a few seconds then added, " Besides, I was still on a thousand pain medications. I wasn't thinking clearly!!"
Nick chuckled lightly then sighed.
" Fine then, but what I was trying to say is that I think the break was good for us. It sucked and made me want to strangle everyone, but it was necessary. "
" And now? "
" Now we have a new lamp. "
She glared at him playfully, he gave her one of his smiles. God, how she had missed those smiles. The ones reserved just for her, where his eyes twinkled and those charming crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes.
She expected him to continue with his remark, but instead he made her stand and he did the same, then he told her there was somewhere he wanted to take her and she didn't object.
Because when it came to Nick Hilton, she was a complete sucker.
He led her to the door and locked it behind him, then he locked his fingers with hers and they exited the building, got into his car and he drove off. She never asked where he was taking her, she took her time looking at him. Recalling the little things about him she had missed. Feeling his warmth and unwillingly feeling her gaze wonder to his lips and imagining his kisses.
All of his kisses on all the different parts of her. She got hot just thinking about it. He swallowed, loosened his tie and shot her a look that said he knew exactly what she was thinking. But he said nothing.
And after about twenty minutes he stopped and parked the car. They were on a fairly busy part of town, it was noisy with sounds from every which way, but she barely registered any of it.
" Nick threaded his fingers in his hair. He was starting to feel anxious. Nervous in a way that was very new to him. Then he turned to Crystal and said, " I got a job, "
Her lips parted and she honestly didn't know what to say. Then she began imagining what kind of job he might be referring to and it filled her with dread.
" It's not like that, you can relax, "
She did.
" I'm in the process of opening up my own private security firm. Miguel suggested it and I thought, why not?....he's helping me out with all the paperwork and shit, " he looked around nervously, as if unsure of what to say next, " It's different but I'm sure I'll be able to handle it. "
" Nick, that's wonderful! "
He nodded and grasped the steering wheel.
" I was hoping you'd think so. Look Crystal, " he turned to face her again, his gaze penetrating and almost impossible to bear, but she didn't dare to look aside. She loved those intense gazes of his, had fallen in love with them from day one when he had both intrigued and frightened the hell out of her. " I never meant to hurt you, I would never...but I'm still not going to lie to you. If anyone ever dares to harm you the way Hines did I WILL kill him, I can't help that no matter how much I try. Do you get that? "
Was it strange that she did? And did it make her demented to fell lucky after he just told her that? She nodded to reassure him and he sighed in relief. Then he got out of the car and so did she.