Chapter thirty two

Standing outside the interrogation room, Nick looked through the one-sided glass. His focus on the guy seated on the other side. His mind somewhere else completely.
Saunders was questioning the guy that had shot Crystal's dad. And Nick could tell that he was not getting anywhere. He tried to keep his concentration to the present.
He failed.
Because whenever he actually did something as simple as think... she came up.
She wanted nothing to do with him now. And he had asked Aiden to take on the duty of watching her. Which had been the case for the past two days. He had literally not even seen her. And he felt every bit like the bastard that he was. She should not have told him what she did. It would have been better... easier for them to go on with their lives ignoring whatever it was that either felt. But she had gone ahead and said that.
And now he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to do because for the first time in his life he was not in control of his emotions. And he felt like a pathetic human being. And what sucked the most was that even now, as he stood there, all he wanted was to drive back to the house and see her. He had been spending the last two days at the station. Trying to see whether Saunders would let him have a little talk with the guy seated on the other side.
And he only went back to the mansion late at night, and he left very early.
Because he was certain that he would not be able to handle the look on her face when she stared at him from now on. That look that said that she hated him.
There was only so much he could handle.
And those three words she had said, they were a constant echo in his head. And they wouldn't let him be. Like a reminder of the harm that he had caused.
" You still want a turn? He's all yours, " Saunders said as he stepped out of the room. Looking hopeless.
" He still won't talk? "Nick's voice was not his own. And he felt fatigued in a way he had never before been. And it had nothing to do with his sleepless nights or his constant thoughts.
" Nope. Hasn't said a damn thing since he was brought in apart from ..' Can you get me a sandwich '..Stupid asshole! "
After wishing him good luck, Saunders left. And Nick went in with an intention of releasing some of the tension he was feeling. And the only way to do that was either drive back to Crystal, or beat the crappy hell out of someone until he felt a little relieved.
The gunman was seated with his head hung. But when Nick walked in he looked up. A plain look on his face. Then he blew out his cheeks and leaned against the seat lazily.
" Where's Hines? "
Walking around the desk, Nick stood behind him. Having taken off his jacket, he placed it on the table. He had a zero tolerance when it came to being played a damn fool.
" I assume he's somewhere.... where exactly? I can't really tell you. " the guy smugly said. He wouldn't break easily. Neither would Nick if he were in the same situation. In their line of work, discretion was always the key despite how much trouble you got yourself in. But he didn't care about that. And although he was sure that the guy would eventually break and talk him what he wanted to know, he didn't want him to do so just yet. Not before he got to exert some of his rage.
So fisting his hand into the guys head, he slammed it onto the tables' steel surface. Hard.
" Okay.... " he then said as he rolled up his sleeves.
" Let's try that again, shall we? "
It was basically assault, considering that he wasn't a cop. But since Saunders thought him to be a retired military veteran, he let him have his time. And Nick took utmost advantage. But at the end, even if the guy confessed all he knew, which wasn't much, he didn't feel at all better.
And he doubted that anything would be able to fee him of the guilt he felt. That and the never-ending desire that burned within him. Almost scorching him. And all it wanted was for him to man up and actually let himself feel.
But..... that was it.
There was always going to be a ' but ' .
✳️❇️✳️❇️✳️
Heart break.
Crystal turned again on her bed, sniffling back the tears. So that was the emotional anguish that had people all loopy and depressed. It sucked. And all over a guy that clearly wanted nothing to do with her.
She felt like the largest of fools. And she cursed the day that she had crossed paths with Nick. She had been open and had decided to tell him how she really felt. She had confessed something to him that she hadn't even been able to confess to herself. And now look where it had gotten her. Wiping a tear with the back of her hand she hugged her pillow.
He was absent, but still he managed to hurt her. It probably wasn't even his fault. She knew she couldn't just force him to reciprocate her feelings but still, it hurt. To know that she had been letting herself fall for a person that didn't share in her feelings. He hadn't even been able to look at her.
Him! Nick Hilton!
The ever proud and confident male had been unable to meet her eyes. He must have not wanted her to see just how absurd he thought she was. She sniffled back another cry. Her heart felt heavy. Loaded with emotions both old and new. But his rejection, which was what it had felt like, hurt more than anything else. He could have at least told her something. Anything instead of just leaving her like that.
And now he had even abandoned her and left. And her, being the foolish person that she was, missed him terribly.
Christ! Just what was wrong with her?
She slowly sat up. And if it weren't for the fact that she didn't feel like getting out of bed, she would have raided her dad's liquor cabinet and stolen a bottle. Then she would have come back to her room and drank it all down in loneliness. Because maybe it would have prevented her from feeling that raw and painful emptiness inside. She had been building a little fantasy inside her head and now that bubble had been popped.
If she could turn back time and unsay what she said had then she would have done so without a second thought. Because he might not have turned her down with a flat rejection, but she still felt miserable.
And defeated. And the tears wanted to keep falling until there was nothing left. Of all the people she could have fallen in love with, it just had to be him. She sucked in a breath and clutched a hand to her chest. There was a hollow in there. There was a piece that would only be complete if she was back in Nick's arms. She knew that he hadn't been spending time at the house lately. So he was probably planning on leaving. Or maybe he had already packed up and left.
But did he truly not care about her?
It didn't seem that way to her. It might have been wishful thinking but at a point she could have sworn that he felt the same. But that was clearly not the case. Shaking her head she decided that that was enough. She wasn't going to spend all her time in bed crying over a guy. It was just sad. And she desperately needed a shower. And maybe some sleep.
And then afterwards, she would try to concentrate on what was really important. Her dad. This had however been a first, because never before in her life had she been so depressed over a guy. Not even while she was in high school.
But since he had made his point clear, she was going to try her best to not live in the past. She would do everything in her power to forget him. The same way that he had no doubt forgotten about her. And maybe with time, he would be nothing but a distant memory that she wouldn't even think about.
Besides, what did she know about him apart from the fact that he was a bodyguard.