Chapter thirty four

Nick parked the car. But first he stayed in for a few minutes. His hand a little bruised from having to beat the hell out of the gunman. All the guy knew was that Hines wanted Crystal and her dad dead. And that the last time he had seen him, he was driving an old beat up car. Couldn't even remember the damn plates.
Sighing, he took out his phone to check the time. It was a little past midnight.
After leaving the station he had met up with Matt. Who had commented on him not acting normal.
Nick finally got out of the car and headed for the house. His jacket in his hand. He didn't however head straight to his room. He headed for Aiden's instead like he'd been doing for the past two days. Because even though he was staying away, he still burned to know everything that she had done throughout the day. And today he at least hoped that the news would not be the same as always.
That she hadn't stayed locked up in her room from morning to nightfall.
That she hadn't even eaten. He had asked one of the maids to make sure she always took food up to her. But last he checked in, Crystal had been sending her away. Saying that she had a cold or something like that.
Knocking on Aiden's door, he waited until the male came out of the room. Looking sleepy with his hair all ruffed up. He didn't even have to ask why Nick was there. He had already become used to it.
" She stayed in there as usual for most of the day, but she finally left the room. Grabbed a snack, checked up on her dad... then she went back upstairs, " Aiden said lazily. Nick nodded and turned to leave.
" Hey, I know it's not my place to ask... but what exactly is the deal with you two? "
Stopping. Nick wondered what kind of response to give. Then he realised he didn't have to give one. But he hadn't thought that things were that obvious between him and Crystal.
" Goodnight Aiden. And thank you for the info, " he stated as he walked away.
The exhaustion was wearing him down. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so tired. And his vision was beginning to turn blurry. He made his way up the stairs before proceeding to walk down the hall and towards his door. Stopping in front of it to look over at hers. Just like he'd been doing each time he got back. And it took every last tiny bit of will he possessed to not go and check up on her himself.
The first day had been so bad he had literally tried to unlock her door and look inside. But it had been locked. So instead he had leaned against it and tried to listen in, to see whether he would catch a hint of any sort of sound.
And nothing had been harder that having to walk back to his room. Or having to lie on his bed and vainly try to get some rest.
With a tired sigh, he unlocked His door. And he had only opened it up a small fraction before realising that something wasn't as it should be. The lights were on. He never left the lights on. He placed a hand on his gun out of pure instinct, a focused look on his face as he opened the door even wider.
Wide enough for him to get in.
Wide enough for him to see her.
His breath caught . The air was sucked straight out of his lungs.
For a while, he thought that she might have just been a figment of his own imagination. That maybe he missed her so much that he was cooking up images of her in his head and projecting them outwards. But no. It was her, it smelt like her, it looked like her and he felt the way he only ever felt when he was in the same room as her.
He took a single step in, realising how the simple sight of her made him feel. Then he looked back at the door as if trying to find any kind of explanation as to what was going on. He found none. Then slowly looked back at where his bed was.
Where SHE was.
Lying on top of his bed, curled up in a ball. Peacefully sleeping. The impact of the scene before him made him drop the jacket he was still holding. And all the exhaustion was drained out of him. He didn't know how, but he ended up moving towards her. Making sure that he made no sound as he approached. Then he stood next to the bed and the simple slow beats of his heart gained momentum.
She looked so small and fragile. So very breakable as she slept peacefully. And he inwardly warned himself against thinking about why she was there. He had walked away and now she was there. Intentionally or not, she was right there. He felt limp, powerless and like a complete coward for walking away simply because he couldn't bring himself to admit what it was he truly felt.
She was so much braver than he was. And he was sure he had hurt her feelings by doing what he did.
The air around them was a little chilly, and he didn't want her to feel cold. Goodness! digging both hands on his hair, he looked around. That heaviness in his gut was back. That heart wrenching feeling! Like a viper tearing through his flesh. He wanted to scoop her up and hold her. And not just for the moment, he wanted to hold onto her for his entire fucking life if he had to.
She was the first person that had managed to make him feel like that. Like he was obsessed. Or maybe addicted to her. And as the control slipped away, he let it. And he was positive that when it came to her, he would always let it slip away. Lighting the night lamp on the bedside table , he walked over to the wall and switched off the lights. Then he took off his shoes and walked back to the bed.
Gently, he pulled the covers over her. Making sure that he didn't wake her. Taking a few seconds to stare at her. Wondering how he had been able to survive two whole days without even a single glance of her lovely face. He could have been told that he was going to die the next day, and he wouldn't have cared because he had gotten to see her.
Taking off his shirt, he slowly slipped into bed next to her. She grumbled and turned, but he wrapped an arm around her, shifting to lie right next to her after switch off the night stand.
" Shhh, just go back to sleep..... I'm here sweetheart , " he whispered those calming words he would otherwise have never imagined himself saying to anyone. But with her, they never ended . And it was there where he belonged. His defences were automatically lowered each time he was close to her. That vulnerability that he experienced only when she was near him consumed him.
And nothing felt better than having her close, holding her just as he was. She relaxed against him, her breathing evening out. It took him back to their time at the hospital, when he had held her just as he was now. Placing a soft kiss to the back of her head, he closed his eyes.
That woman. With her bright eyes and her firm heart. He cared for her so much he could barely handle it. He wanted nothing more than to spend every waking day next to her. And this.... this thing she made him feel. It overpowered him. There was no denying it this time.
Nick adored her with all his being. She completed him.
Forget about all the times he'd vowed to keep her as far from him as he could. He now realised that his fate had been sealed the moment he had first seen her, when he had forgotten where he was because he had been captured in a trance by her. His heart, that one organ that he had never trusted enough to use in making his decisions, it reached out to hers.
It wanted him to forget all the constrictions, all the buts and all the reasons why they could just never be. And he was scared that that was a battle in which he was letting himself lose.
And when the exhaustion weighed in and he could no longer fight it, he drifted off to sleep with one final thought in mind.
She was his existence . And he wasn't sure he was strong enough to let go. Because if he chose to pull through with this, then he had to lie to her. It was either that or risk losing her. And he wasn't going to simply let that happen. If he did this, then he was going to do everything in his power to keep her next to him. Which meant that lying was an inevitability.
He knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't feel the same way about him if she got to learn the truth about who he really was. The many lives he had taken simply for the sake of money. He had hurt people, he had turned the lives of families and he had never cared much about it. Because back then, he had had no reason to care. So he would try to shield her from all that.
And if that was the price he had to pay in return for being able to stroke her skin and look into her eyes, then so be it. He was unaware of how they would go about it.
But she was his. And it would remain so.