Chapter fifty eight

The phonecalls were more than Nick could handle,so he switched off his phone and went back to staring at the empty space ahead of him. This was the same bench he and Crystal had sat on all those weeks ago.
He glanced at his watch. It was nine. Meaning he had been sitting there for close to three hours. Staring at nothing in particular. There were hundreds of people walking around him but he did not at not at all register their presence.
He had just a few hours ago did something that would determine everything from now on.
Standing, he walked over to his car and leaned against the seat, looking up with a million thoughts crowding his mind. He started the car and drove to the hospital.
Certain that by then, Crystal had been informed about the news.
This time, as he rode up the elevator, he felt a dread that he hated completely.The elevator stopped on Crystal's floor and he stepped out. The two cops assigned to stand guard outside Crystal's room were nowhere to be seen. That was the only sign he needed.
He unlocked the door and walked in. And there she was, seated in the edge of the bed. Dressed in a pair of black jeans and a navy blue turtle neck , her hair in a ponytail. He frowned, wondering why she was dressed so casually. And the frown only intensified when he saw the bag by her feet, she looked ready to leave.
He waited for her to look up at him and say something.. anything really. But she never did, throughout the entire time she kept her head bowed. Twisting her fingers together on her thighs.
She knew.
That much Nick was sure of. He was certain that she was well aware of his presence in the room because he knew she could feel him the same way he could feel her. He inwardly begged for her to say anything that would amount to a word.
When nothing was said, the silence stretched out between them, at some point he heard Miguel and Dahlia outside but then their voices faded into the distance and they were back to the eery quiet.
Then after what seemed like forever, Nick made slow steos towards the bed and settled down next to her.There was no reaction from her side, she just kept fiddling with her hands. And it was evident that she was trying to steady her breathing..not out of fear, but out of another emotion he was still not familiar with.
Reaching back, Crystal took hold of the remote and switched the TV on.
The breaking news was everywhere and he was not surprised. The lack of reaction told Crustal everything she needed to know.
After a while of contemplating, Nick had decided that the best place to dump Hines' body was in front of the police station where Saunders worked. It sounded crazy but that way, it would be easier for them to find him. And that's exactly what he had done.
Crystal glanced at the TV, then she very cautiously turned to him. He returned the stare with the confidence that was engraved into his very character. It was a part of him that he could do nothing about.
" You promised. " her voices sounded a little broken. And Nick realised that she had gotten straight to the point.No beating around the bush trying to confirm whether it was him who had done it or not.
She had already come to the decision that he was responsible, because who else would be?
Nick had both the ability and reason to kill Hines.
" I had to.It was the only way to ensure that he didn't ever try to hurt you again." he was curt. And he hooed she wouldn't let her emotions get in the way of her judgement here.
" The only way? Surely you can't believe that..the cops- "
" Enough about the cops Crystal. If they were really taking this seriously they would have found that son of a bitch ages ago. "
Shaking her head, Crystal stood up abruptly and stood in front of him. Her arms crossed defiantly and her eyes holding judgement.
" You promised! " she accused.
" I also promised to keep you safe no matter what, and forgive me but no other promise can surpass that."
Huffing out a breath Crystal ran a hand over her face.
" You can get arrested for this. "
" I'm well aware of that. "
" And you still went ahead and did it? Did you even stop to think about how this stupid decision of yours would affect us? "
Nick also stood, towering above her like he did, he reached out to angle her to face him, but she didn't let him. Instead, she stepped to the side and faced away from him.
Nick sighed in both defeat and disappointment.
" I did stop to think about it. What was i supposed to do, let him roam around out there and eventually.." the words dried up in his throat. He could not bring himself to say them out loud.God! even thinking about them was difficult.
" I did what I had to Crystal. And if another such situation arose, you can be aure that I would do it all over again."
" How can you say that? " she demanded as she turned back around to face him. And in her eyes Nick could read what the actual issue was. Why she was so adamant that he live a murder free life.
He reached over and caught her arm gently so that she wouldn't be able to run off. Then he demanded that she look at him which she finally did.
" What are you so afraid of? Do you think I'm some raging out of control beast that will go around killing everyone just because I've had a little taste? "
She never replied, and he slowly let go of her arm. The realization stabbing him in the very chest. He placwd a hand on his waist and chuckled lightly, unaware of what to say next.
" Where do you see us in the next five to ten years? " Crystal asked The question so unexpected that Nick thought he was hearing things.
" What? "
Shrugging, Crystal settled down on the bed again and bowed her head.
" You heard me. What kind of future do you see for us? "
" What does that have to do with-"
" Just answer the damn question! " Crystal cut in. Her voice louder than normal. They had walked this path before. Nick clearly recalled a certain conversation they had had which concerned the status of their relationship. He thought they were way past that.So why was she bringing it up now.
It was not something he really ever thought about, he was fully satisfied with how things were between them. He saw no fault in their relationship.
I mean, they lived together and he loved her like he'd loved no one else. How could that not be enough?
" I don't know. But who cares as long us we have each ?"
" I care." the words were so low he barely heard them. She sighed and looked at him. The intensity of his stare shaking her.
He was right, she was scared of him going back to his previous ways.But that wasn't the only thing. To be honest, she wasn't really upset that he had killed Hines because she knew that he had done it for her sake.And she wanted to let the matter go return to how things were, but then that would be it. They would live together as.....whatever they were. At some point she was okay with it.
The important thing was that she had him after all, but she had to know what his expectations were.
And she would have asked him straight on but that courage was way beyond her.
She tried a few times but failed.
Nick sensed her apprehension, so while hoping she wouldn't run from him, he went down on his haunches in front of her and held her hand. His features softened and he gave her a little squeeze before asking her what was wrong.
She blew out a breath. Then meeting his eyes, she asked, " Do you want kids? "
Nick unknowingly let go of her hand immediately.And the silence that followed told her all she needed to know.