Chapter fourty two

Crystal sat on the couch, then she looked around the apartment.
It was a nice place. But it seemed a little.... empty.
Apart from the necessary furniture there wasn't anything else in there. Not even a single piece of art. It was just a nice space that really had nothing in it.
But she didn't care. Because all she needed was herself and Nick.
" What's wrong? " Nick asked as he appeared in the doorway. Then he went and sat next to her. She shook her head. Saying it was nothing. But truth be told she was still on the process of wrapping her head around everything that had happened.
That she had literally just packed up and left home. And that there was a high chance of her never going back there.
" Second thoughts? " he asked.
" No, no I'm just... " she blew out a breath. Then she grunted and leaned back against the seat lazily.
" I don't even know. " she confessed as she looked up at the ceiling. Her arms spread out on either side of her on the couch.
" You're doing it again, " Nick said as he stood. Pocketing his hands as he gave her that unreadable look. Almost like he was silently scolding her.
" Doing what? "
" Over thinking, trying to reexamine the situation over and over until finally you drain yourself out and get hysterical. "
" Hey... that is so not true! "
" Sure it is. "
She sat up. A make belief scowl on her face.
" You're making yourself believe that you are helping yourself get a better idea of what's going on. But all your doing is intentionally depressing yourself so that when those tears start falling again, you'll have a good reason as to why they are. " he calmly stated. His eyes intently scrutinizing.
He was only saying what he knew was true. She was an emotional person, and he knew that she couldn't help how she was. And she was currently trying to block out those negative emotions that were definitely making their way through her. And in the process all she was gaining were more negative emotions.
" Did you just try to psychoanalysis me? "
" I didn't try to... I simply did it. "
She shook her head, then looked away from him and laid her head on the armrest of the couch.
" Well, you're wrong. "
Inching closer he went on his haunches next to her. Then he let the silence stretch until she became uncomfortable and looked up at him. Only to find a hint of humor in his appearance. He looked amused, a subtle grin taking over his features as he stared at her.
" What? " she asked. Then buried her head into the armrest again.
" Crystal, " he called out, and she gave a muffled response just as she was.
" Stop it! " he warned and she frowned even though he couldn't see her. Then she shrugged. She felt so tired, the same feeling she got when she was bored and only wanted to stay in bed all day.
" See. You're doing it right now, purposefully wearing yourself down when you can easily choose not to. "
He was making sense and she hated it. It was a wonder that he knew her so damn well.
" What are you? A therapist? "
" No. I'm the person who's not just going to stand by and watch you self sabotage. First comes the gloomy face, then you don't want to talk to anyone, after that it's going to be the self isolation and then the endless wallowing in self inflicted agony. "
She looked up at him with her mouth open.
" You're making all that up! "
" Oh, and I forgot to state denial. " he said and she tried her best to keep her features composed even if she now felt like smiling. He sounded so hot when he was acting stern. And he had just summarised her idea of a defense mechanism against pain. Sitting up, she dug her palms into the couch and hung her head, and she could still feel his eyes on her.
" You know I'm here, right? "
She nodded.
" And you also know that I'm not leaving, right? "
She nodded once more. Finally looking up once he tucked her hair behind her ear.
" Then why don't we delay the brooding for another day and just forget everything that happened. Okay? "he arched his brow.
And for a person that had never actually comforted anyone before her, he was doing a pretty good job.
" Okay. " she agreed. Leaning into his touch when he cupped her cheek. And if he continued being so sweet and caring she wa afraid that she was going to jump him right there.
" Good. Now can you do me another favor? "
" What is it? "
She loved him so much that sometimes it felt surreal. And when he looked at her like he currently was, she doubted there was anything she could deny him.
" Smile, " he said. He needed to see her do so. To feel as the air around them turned radiant and to see the room light up the way it only did when she did that one little action.
" Come on, " he urged as he held her chin, she playfully tried to push him away when he insisted that she smile. And when she finally did his subtle grin increased by a great fraction until he was smiling himself.
" There it is, " he said, forcing her to look at him until she found herself blushing. And when he accused her of doing so, she laughed as she tried to stand and move away from him. But then he scooped her up his arms around her and lifted her off the couch.
" Where are you taking me? " she struggled to ask admist the laughter. But he didn't go anywhere, instead he settled back down with her in his laps.
" You're okay, " he told her. And it sounded more like he was assuring himself of the fact. Because she WAS okay, and he was never going to let anyone else hurt her.. ever! It didn't matter what he had to do but she would be protected against any kind of pain. And under the rare circumstance that he wouldn't be able to prevent such a thing from happening, then he would be there to make sure her spirit was high.
Sighing softly, she relaxed in his hold. And she no longer felt as miserable as she did earlier. Quite the contrary, she now more than ever felt ready to face anything. And she welcomed the optimism and clung to it the same way she was clinging to him. Inhaling his scent she buried her head into his neck. Then she went to his ear and told him that he loved him. He kissed her in return. And although she still inwardly hoped that he would say it back, at the moment she was okay with just being with him. In his arms as she thought about all the new possibilities that awaited her.
" Do you have any food here? " she asked minutes later. She was honestly hungry since she hadn't eaten anything the entire day.
" Not really. "
He chuckled. Now certain that she really was back to herself . He'd never had company there before, and his fridge was mostly empty apart from maybe some fruits and eggs that he had left when he went to stay at their house. Plus cooking wasn't a specialty of his.
" Should we eat out? " he asked and she groaned. Not wanting to go out, or more precisely, not wanting to move from where she comfortably was.
" Nah, it's okay, "
" I'll order in, " he said. Wanting to say something about her large appetite but deciding against it.
" Fine. But I'm warning you, be prepared to spend a lot. "
" Anything you want. " he said as he pulled out his phone.
And their first argument in his house was about food. Whether to order sushi or just pizza.
" No, you literally just said I can order anything I want. Besides, sushi is all raw and... " she shivered as if thinking of something horrific.
And in the end, they ordered both. A long with a lot of other things which would most likely just end up in the fridge afterwards.
And when the food came and they started eating, Nick realised that it was the first time his house actually felt like a home. With her endless conversations about the craziest things and her laughter mingling with the silence to form the most fascinating sound.
And when she actually ate the sushi she claimed to hate, he laughed. A low rumbling delighted laugh that only increased when she dared him to say a word.
He didn't talk nearly as much as she did, just listened and answered the occasional questions she asked when she decided to get to know more about him. Questions like what his favorite color was, and which holiday he liked most. And he smiled at himself whenever she gasped at his answers and tried to change them with those she preferred.
He loved her, he realized.
He loved her with a kind of love that was so immense, it was all he could feel. And he was going to enjoy the time he had with her, and try his best to ensure it didn't ever end.