Chapter XXII

"Scuba diving?"

I nodded my head. "Would you like to try it, Sir Sebastian?" I asked as my smile was hanging when I mentioned to him about scuba diving this morning. I was hoping he would say no for this one.

He was already looking at the scuba diving gear displayed in the shop, touching the fins. "It seems interesting," he said, which made my heart leap from nervousness.

"R-Really?" I faked a smile at Sebastian. But when he nodded, my world suddenly crumbled down. "That's great then!" I distanced myself and looked in the other direction. "Yay... Great... Scuba diving... We're dead..." My tone gradually died down when Sir Sebastian ignored me, and I murmured those words.

I went to the shore when I made sure that my boss wasn't paying attention to me. My chest rose up and down as my hands were fidgeting in nervousness that we were going scuba diving.

"All set."

I robotically turned my head upon hearing Sir Sebastian. "What?" I cracked a wry smile. "All set?" I asked again for confirmation, blinking so many times.

Sebastian nodded. "Yes. Let's rent a boat." He passed by me and approached one of the boatmen settled in the seashore.

"Oh shit... What did I do?" I swear... I swear... I felt like my face had gone color right now. I would have to see the bottomless waters and have to swim there. "Sebastian, am I supposed to go scuba diving with you?" I asked after he had negotiated with the boatman for renting a boat.

He glanced at me. "Didn't you suggest this to me? I said yes, and of course, you are going to come with me."

I slowly heaved a breath, gulping. Shit... What am I supposed to do to not include myself in swimming there? I love the scenery under the water, but the deep water is... not the kind of fun I am looking for.

I was left with no choice as Sir Sebastian already called me so we could climb up to the boat. He offered his hand to me. Reluctantly, I accepted it. Then he helped me to climb up. I clung to him when the boat swayed a little. I got stiffened when his hand supported my back as we all sat down.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly, turning at me. We were all sitting beside each other.

"I am, sir. Thank you for your concern." I forced a smile. Then I looked away as the boatman started the engine. "Shit..." I murmured under my breath. 

I bit my lower lip as I took a sigh. I haven't told Sir Sebastian that I have thalassophobia. I have an intense fear of deep bodies of water. The fathomless bodies of water have come to my view. If I was on the ferry, I could manage the anxiety feeling since I knew I am safe and nothing would happen to me, but then, seeing it point-blank makes me shiver right now.

I peeked a glance at Sir Sebastian, whose expression was emotionless right now. His eyes were on the front. I looked away and glared down to my hands settling to my thighs. I clasped my hands, taking a deep breath.

 I knew I should not have mentioned scuba diving to him. But I have never told him about my phobia. I don't want to ruin this vacation just because of my aversion. That is why I suggested this to him because I want Sebastian to enjoy things after intense work.

When the boat stopped in the middle of the sea, my breath gradually became heavy. I felt myself sweating coldly. I clenched my hands, inhaling and exhaling. Then I casually approached Sir Sebastian as we both helped each other to wear our diving gear.

When I passed him the gloves, my hands accidentally brushed into his. My heart leaped out from my ribcage when he instantly captured my hand with his.

"Why is your hand cold?" he asked. He looked up to meet my eyes. "Cejay."

I released an awkward smile as I slowly took my hand back. "W-Well, nervous, sir. You know..." I paused, smiling. I want to send an implied message that I am pretty nervous about this fucking scuba diving even though this wasn't the first time I had done this. But deep inside, I am already screaming to myself. I want to get away from this vast emptiness of this ocean. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah..." I laughed nervously.

Sebastian stared at me and clasped my hand that was on his tightly. "You can hold my hand if you want someone to hold on."

I pursued a smile and nodded. "Aye, boss!"

He nodded and released my hand for a while. I diverted my attention as well. I don't want my boss to decide that he would no longer wish to do scuba diving if he learns about my phobia of deep bodies of water. I felt relieved when he told me beforehand that he had already experienced scuba diving. I also had an experience with scuba diving, but the last time I had done this ended up making me have this shitty phobia.

"Ready?"

Like what the hell, Sebastian? Let’s not continue this anymore! I pursed my lips into a thin line when Sebastian asked me that.

"Yes. Haha." I tried to make my voice as cheerful as possible. I don't want him to see how fucking nervous I was right now.

But on the other hand, couldn't he notice that I am freaking wanting not to continue this? Could he catch it? Could he?

"Well, then, let's go." He jumped into the water. Then he beckoned his hand to let me know that I must follow him.

I bit the regulator with almost intense pressure. I roamed around my eyes as to how bluish and transparent the water is right now. I took a deep breath before I decided to jump to the water.

I swam towards him and was surprised when Sir Sebastian offered his hand to me. I glanced and saw him nodding at me. Hesitant, I accepted his hand. I suddenly felt at ease upon feeling the warmth of his hand succumbing to mine.

Together, we dove into the deep water. I calmed myself, seeing the vast emptiness of the sea, afraid that there might be some sea creatures like sharks that may suddenly attack me. I slowly closed my eyes as the past traumatic event recalled to my mind, which made me end up having this.

I was irked when I felt something touch my jaw. I snapped my eyes open and saw Sir Sebastian so close to me. His hand was on my jaw. Concerned expression was all over his face. He must have noticed why I stopped swimming.

But his action triggered my anxiety under the water. I thought an octopus's tentacle suddenly touched my jaw. So in an instant, I jerked his hand and paddled my feet away from him, causing me to panic under the water. My visions got blurry from the bubbles, which caused me to panic as I accidentally removed my mask and regulators. Seeing how vast this freaking sea was had increased the intensity of my anxiety.

Struggling to breathe, I swam immediately to the surface so I could get some air. As I was on the surface, I took a deep inhale. Tears started to form in my eyes.

I want to get the hell out of here. I want to stay away from this vast space. I don't want to be here!

I roamed my eyes around as I couldn't find Sir Sebastian. "Where was he?" Is he still under the water?

I wanted to return to check on him, but I was already panicking inside out. The way I paddled my feet was already enough for me that I want to get the hell out of here.

Sobbing, I called his name. "Sebastian. Sebastian, let's go. I don't want to stay here," I said even though he was not around. I was all alone and couldn't find my boss.

What if a sea creature took him down there? That is why he hasn't gone up to the surface yet? Is he alright? How about me? Am I going to die here?

I screamed when a human figure arose from the water. I was about to swim away, but then I was stopped by grabbing my arm.

"Cejay!"

I stopped struggling and turned to that voice. "Sebastian!" I cried and reached him. Tears won't stop falling when he finally enveloped his arms into my body. "Please... I don't want to stay here anymore. I wanna go home!" I demanded.

"Shh... It's alright. We will leave now." His gentle tone was like a melody to my ears. I slowly calmed down and nodded to him.

My eyes were so puffy when we returned to our hotel room. Sir Sebastian just draped his arm over my shoulders when we arrived at the seashore earlier.

"You could have told me that you have a phobia, Cejay. I would understand, " he said softly when he gave me a glass of water for me to drink. Then he wiped my hair using his towel.

I lowered my gaze, feeling guilty. I ignored the sensation crawling under my skin as he kept on wiping my hair, kneeling in front of me.

"I'm sorry, sir... I just want you to enjoy this vacation which is why..." I paused when he stopped wiping my hair.

When I glanced up, I shivered to see his expression darkened. "And you almost put your life in danger because you have a phobia!" I cringed when his voice rose. "Have you ever thought how fucking worried I was when I saw you panicked under the water back then? Then how did you call my name as if you were a lost child? Have you seen yourself begging at me to get away from where we were? Just for the sake of me enjoying this vacation, you neglected your welfare, Cejay! You think your reasoning is fucking reasonable?"

I bit my lower lip, feeling guilty. I didn't expect that things were going south so fast. I thought I could fight my phobia, but I was wrong after all. I almost put myself in danger.

"I'm sorry, sir..." That was all I could say. I couldn't find any reason to justify my action.

I heard his sigh as he continued wiping my hair. He even sandwiched me in between the towels and made my face puffy.

"Listen to me, woman." He almost closed the distance. Our faces were so close to each other. "You take a lukewarm bath, then take a rest. For now, let me take care of you. No buts, and that is an order."

I closed my mouth from what he said. I was about to object to it earlier, but he already sprouted his orders, so I had no choice but to obey him.

"Okay..." I said in a sad tone.

"Good." He helped me to stand up. "I'll preheat the water. You should take the clothes you want to wear after taking a bath."

I followed what he said. I relaxed once I was in the lukewarm water in the bathtub tested by His Majesty, Sir Sebastian. I chuckled mentally.

I scooped some water into my hands and carefully slid them to my thighs. I have calmed down now because of my boss. Good thing he was considerate of my condition. Although he scolded and got mad at me because I put myself in danger, all in all, he was just concerned about me.

As soon as I was done taking a bath, he made me sit in front of the vanity mirror, and he was the one who dried my hair using his towel. That surprised me already.

"Sir Sebastian, don't you think you are way too generous?" I asked out of curiosity. "You know, I can manage..."

"Just be silent and let me do the rest, Cejay." I frowned at his answer. "Grab me the hairdryer and your comb."

"Do you know how to use it?" I asked in surprise as I gave it to him.

He shrugged. "Who knows..."

I was about to argue with him, touching my hair, when he started drying my hair and combing them. I was a little shocked by how he handled it carefully and gently as it sent tingles down my spine. Was this not his first time combing a woman's hair? Why does it feel so good?

After minutes had passed, he managed to dry it out. "Now, you take a nap. I'll wake you up later."

"But how about you, sir?" I asked, concerned. I didn't protest when he guided me to sit on my bed.

"I'll take care of some business matters while I have nothing to do so you can rest up, Cejay." He pushed me down to my bed and wrapped me with my blanket. "We're not going to go scuba diving again. We must return to our hometown after this day."

I watched him towering over me as he said those words. I moved to lay my back on my bed finally.

"But can we stroll around later, sir?"

Sebastian nodded. "Yes. So, take a rest first."

As if on cue, his words made me drift to sleep, so I closed my eyes. I didn’t have an ounce to peel my eyes open because I was sleepy. Before I could finally succumb to my sleep, I felt something land on my forehead, which I didn't even dare to take a peek at.

"Sweet dreams, Cejay." That was the only thing I heard.