Chapter 227
“So… how was your Transformation process, Brandon?” Elliott asked, and I leaned back so that the father could see his son a little better. How weird would it be to come back from the dead and find out you had an eighteen-year-old kid?
“Smooth,” Brandon replied, rubbing his hands together like he was still very uncomfortable. “Just went to sleep, woke up a superhero.”
“That’s every day for me,” Elliott joked, nudging me with his elbow. I laughed genuinely for the first time in as long as I could remember. “Cool. Glad it wasn’t painful. Jamie’s a heckofa guy ain’t he?”
“Yeah, he sure is. He saved Cassidy.” Brandon smiled at me, and I found myself scooting closer to him on the sofa. I really wished they weren’t so far apart, but I supposed that was a bit of a metaphor for life.
“That’s what I heard. I gotta say, though, when I first heard what happened, how you got to Philly, Cass, I wanted to murder whatever bonehead let you talk him into going with you and not telling anyone.” He still had a smirk on his face but I caught the narrowing of his eyes.
“Well, he is your son,” I said sarcastically, reaching for Brandon’s hand without taking my eyes off Elliott. Brandon squeezed it, and I said, “I can be pretty persuasive when I want to be.” I knew it wasn’t anything like that—that Brandon had decided to go with me under absolutely no duress, but if his dad thought it was me taking advantage of him so that he didn’t harbor any ill will against his youngest child, so be it.
“True,” Elliott agreed. He looked at Brandon. “You’re bound to do at least a few really stupid things in your life, due to your DNA alone. From my family line anyway.”
Brandon squeezed my hand a little tighter, as if he were bracing himself against a potential question about his mom or a lack of a response. “Brandon’s actually surprisingly smart, considering what he has to work with,” I joked. Elliot wrinkled his nose up at me. “He’ll be done with high school early, now that he’s taking everything online. And he’s going to go to college online in the fall.”
“Cool,” Elliott said, looking at his son with pride I hadn’t really seen from him before. I imagined there was something about being a parent of a kid who had it altogether that made a person glow. “And… what’s this all about?” he asked, gesturing at our hands with his head.
“Oh, uh, we’re… just friends,” I replied. “It’s not like you and Cadence don’t ever hold hands.” I arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to disagree with me.
“That’s true,” he shrugged, but his eyes were still staring at our hands scrutinizingly. I wasn’t sure which one of us he was displeased with, but I had a feeling it wasn’t me. I had to consider that, to Elliott, Brandon was still a stranger. Once he got to know him, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that I’d basically just told a bald-faced lie. We were more than just friends. There might not be a word for what we were, but friends wasn’t it.
“How’s your mom?”
The question hung in the air for a painstakingly long moment as Brandon tried to come up with a suitable response, and I tried to breathe for both of us. “She, uh, she’s about the same as always,” Brandon finally stammered.
Immediately, Elliott’s eyebrows shot up. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What do you mean?”
I met Brandon’s eyes, hoping to give him some strength. Whether he chose to tell his dad the truth right now or put it off was up to him, but I would be there for him no matter what.
“She… she has a little bit of a drinking problem.”
I knew it was extremely difficult for Brandon to voice that truth, and I was proud of him for just saying it, even though I could tell by Elliott’s expression that he was shocked.
“Really?” he asked, leaning back, his mouth open for a long moment. “How long has that been going on?”
“Well, about as long as I can remember,” Brandon admitted. “I went and saw her over Christmas break, kinda hoping things might be different since I left. But they’re not.”
Elliott’s face went pale, and he sat there, staring at the floor for a long time. “I had no idea.”
“I know,” Brandon said. “I know you had no idea about me, either. And I had no idea about you until it was too late. She told me that you were dead long before you actually were.”
It all came out in a rush, and the two of them stared at each other, both searching for words. I began to wonder if I should find the nearest exit. Brandon interlaced his fingers with mine, an indication he wanted me to stay.
“And then by the time you found out I’d been alive all these years—I really was dead?”
“Yep.”
“Man,” Elliott muttered, shaking his head. “How’d you find out?”
Brandon hesitated for a second before he said, “Email. She asked me to fix something on her computer. I wasn’t trying to be nosy.”
“Right.”
I wondered if Elliott hadn’t had that feeling that he was going to die if he would have ever sent that email. If he hadn’t, we likely still wouldn’t know Brandon was out there. Yet another reason why sometimes dying can be a good thing so long as you can find your way back home again.
Elliott cleared his throat, and I thought I saw a glint of tears in his eyes. “Look, if I’d’ve had any idea….”
“No, I understand,” Brandon said quickly. “I know you didn’t know.”
“Once Amanda said that she knew she couldn’t handle this lifestyle, there wasn’t much I could do. I tried to convince her. She didn’t want any part of it, so… I had to go. She said… she said she didn’t care if I was active or not. I didn’t have a choice between her and what I am.”
What he was saying made sense despite the disjointed nature of the way it was dispensed.
“Yeah, she’s not exactly happy about me choosing this life either, but there was no question for me. Once I saw Cadence and Aaron in action—there was no going back.”
“You saw a hunt before you Transformed?” Elliott asked.
This was such a sore spot for me, I fake glared at Brandon, but part of my feelings were still sincere. It had been jealousy over his participation in a hunt that had driven me to extremes when I’d chosen to go to Philly uninvited.
“They needed someone to run interference,” Brandon shrugged.
Elliott’s laughter filled the room. “Ha! That’s my boy,” he said, clapping his hands a couple of times in pure joy. “And I bet you’re good at it, too?”
Brandon turned a slight shade of pink. “Not too shabby.”
“Runs in the family,” the proud father proclaimed.
“Yes, you are both very good at lying. Congratulations,” I said, finally interjecting myself into the conversation. It entered my mind that both of them had a lot of time with the other to make up for, and I wondered how I would fit into this equation.
They both snickered at me and Elliott began to ask questions about what sports Brandon played in high school. While I was glad they’d found something to talk about, there wasn’t much I could add to the conversation, and my mind began to wander. Once again, everything in my life had drastically changed, and while this was definitely for the better, it also meant that, if Aaron was right—and Aaron is always right—there was at least one monster out there now who hadn’t been there just a few days ago. I wondered if I closed my eyes and concentrated if I could feel any disturbances in the air.
“You okay, Cass?” Elliott asked, a tinge of concern in his voice.
My eyes flew open. I hadn’t realized I’d actually been reaching. “Oh, yeah.”
“We boring you?” Brandon teased, giving me a little nudge with his shoulder.
“No, I was just….” How could I explain it to them in a way that didn’t sound nuts? “I just wanted to see if I could feel anything different, that’s all.” I decided if there were two people in the world I could talk to about this, these were the two.
“Did you?” Elliott asked.
With a sigh, I admitted defeat. “No, not yet.”
“Maybe you need to find a room where two loudmouths aren’t talking about football,” Brandon suggested, causing his dad to laugh in agreement.
“Maybe,” I nodded. “I don’t have to do it right now.”
“Actually,” Elliott said, looking at his watch, “I should probably go check in with your sister. I don’t have my IAC, and I have no idea what’s going on. Which is really weird. I’m glad I didn’t actually come back naked, but this is the next worst thing.”
I had wondered about that but had been too embarrassed to ask—the nudity thing, that is. “Okay,” I said. It was almost impossible for me to take my eyes off him as he stood to go downstairs. I was afraid I might never see him again, but I realized he’d be gone from my house soon enough. I stood and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tight. “Don’t you dare leave this house without coming to tell me goodbye.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t. Besides, I’m pretty sure we are staying the night.”
That made me breathe a little easier. He kissed my cheek and then released me and I tried to remember to inhale and exhale. Brandon accepted Elliott’s outstretched hand, and I knew it would be just a matter of time before they were also hugging each other. My eyes followed Elliott until I couldn’t see him anymore.
“You okay?” Brandon asked as his strong arms embraced me from behind. I rested my head against his shoulder and laid my hands on top of his.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” I asked just above a whisper.
“Me? I’m fine. I just met a nice man who’s basically a stranger but promises to be a friend.”
“And a roommate,” I reminded him looking up at him.
Brandon said a word my dad says sometimes when he hits his thumb with a hammer. I laughed. “I guess it’s a good thing I left all of his stuff in his room.”
I turned around, taking both of his hands in mine again. “I bet Aaron can find you another place to live if you want, but I think the two of you are going to be thick as thieves in no time.”
“Well, we are both pretty sturdy guys.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “That is not what I meant.”
“I know.” Brandon took a step toward me, his hands sliding up to my shoulders. I felt the butterflies in my stomach roar to life like they’d been injected with nitrate. “Thanks for helping me through that.”
“Through telling him about your mom?” I asked, not sure my mind was working coherently enough to follow what he was saying as his lips were hovering just above mine.
“Yeah. Listen, Cass, I’ve had my fair share of friends—but you’re not one of them.”
I swallowed hard, unable to speak. Staring into his eyes at close range was mental suicide.
“You don’t really think that’s all we are, do you?”
My head rocked back and forth enough to let him know that I knew what he was implying.
“Good.” Brandon slowly leaned toward me. I wanted to let him kiss me, to kiss him back, to finally acknowledge that my feelings for him were not of the pen pal variety, but just before his lips were on mine, I felt a slight tingle in my gums, and before I knew what I was doing, I’d taken a giant step backward.
His eyes had been closed, but they flew open, and his expression was a mixture of inquiry and torture.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “It’s not—I don’t….”
“No, Cass, it’s okay,” he said, forcing the smallest of concessionary smiles on his handsome face. “I get it.”
“I don’t think you do,” I replied.
“Sure I do,” he said with a shrug as he slid his hands into his jeans pockets. “You’re not ready for that yet. That doesn’t change anything, does it?”
I shook my head like a little kid who’s been told it’s bedtime. “No, it doesn’t change anything.”
“Then… I’ll wait.”
I exhaled sharply through my nose. I felt like I could tell Brandon anything, but I didn’t know how to explain to him what it was I was so nervous about. He opened his arms, and I stepped into them, glad that I hadn’t forced any space between us with my abandoning ship.
“Come on,” he said, pulling me over to the sofa. “Let’s watch a movie.”
Even though it was a school night, and I had homework, I sank into the couch and rested my head on his shoulder as he picked up the remote and chose a comedy. Elliott was downstairs. Brandon wanted to kiss me. What could possibly be wrong with the world? My eyelids grew heavy as I tried to ignore the nagging feeling in my gut that my grandma was gone and the voice in my head that whispered, “The time is now.”
