Chapter 284
I closed my mouth and looked around. A few other people were staring at me wide-eyed, but for the most part, no one had noticed my hissing at Shane somehow, except for the trainer himself. Luckily, Addy and Gabbi were still licking their own wounds over having gotten yelled at by Shane, and they hadn’t seen what I’d done.
Shane was mortified, though. He stammered his way through the rest of his little speech and sent us to the locker room. As soon as I could, I turned to Dax and said, “Sorry. I don’t… that’s never happened before.”
“No, it’s fine,” he assured me, but he didn’t get any closer. I could tell he thought maybe he could, but he’d only seen one other Vampire before, and I was under the impression that situation was not pleasant. I couldn’t blame him for doubting he could trust me. “Are you all right? You looked upset.”
To put it mildly… “I’ll be fine.” I managed to smile at him, but he didn’t smile back, and then he moved quickly toward the showers with the other guys. I looked around for Tara, but before I could rush over to catch up with her, I heard my name.
“Findley!” Shane was standing near the door still, his arms crossed, and his biceps bulging. My feet were concrete as I stumbled over. I knew I needed to apologize, but the thought of saying it out loud--to him--was almost too much for me. As soon as I was standing in front of him, he said, “What the heck was that?”
It came out easier than I’d imagined. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t let it happen again!” It was the most forceful he’d ever been with me, and my fangs automatically dropped down again the second he finished the sentence. I knew if I let him see that, this was all about to come to a head. I thought back to the table I’d destroyed the night before and dropped my head to the ground, mumbling, “’Kay,” hoping he couldn’t see the inside of my mouth because now probably wasn’t the time to get into a sparring match with the brute.
I took off down the hall as fast as I could go, even passing some of the girls who’d left before Shane called me out. Tara reached out and grabbed me as I went past her. “What happened?” she asked, and when I turned to look at her, I saw nothing but concern in her pretty face.
I thought in that moment I could tell her everything, that I could confide in Tara the way that I had with Lucy and Emma, that I finally had a friend. But then I remembered she would be leaving soon, and I didn’t want to go through having another friend I missed so terribly, so I shrugged and said, “Nothing. Shane is just… Shane.”
“Right?” she agreed as we followed Addy into the locker room. “I don’t know what Meagan sees in him.”
I didn’t answer, though, Addy did, and the next thing I know they were asking me where Brandon was, and I was contemplating our situation again. Had it just been the day before I’d sat in this same locker room and reminded these girls that he was my boyfriend? All I wanted to do was take a shower and get out of there. Luckily, the conversation soon switched to Dax, and it seemed Tara wasn’t the only one who thought he was nice to look at.
I grabbed what I needed out of my locker and then realized Tara was talking to me. I turned to look at her, and she repeated, “Cass, I asked if you’re sure you’re okay.”
With a loud sigh, I dropped down on the bench by the lockers, glad all of the other girls were in the showers now. “I’m… pretty upset about the hunt we went on last night.” That was about all I could say, but even admitting that much did make me feel slightly less burdened.
Tara had never even been on an observation yet. She hadn’t been in the program that long, but more than that, she wasn’t that good. Yet. I had faith in her. I think….
“I heard there was some crazy stuff happening,” she said whispering to me like no one else knew.
I honestly had no idea what the rumors were about what had happened the night before, but I thought too much couldn’t have leaked out or else Addy and Gabbi would’ve been talking about that instead of Brandon and Dax. Hardly anyone at campus, or in the world, knows about the Blue Moon Portal, so I don’t know how we could explain what was going on, and as far as the crazy stuff she’d alluded to, she didn’t know the half of it. I thought about all the new forms I’d seen, how hard they’d been to kill, and how I’d actually communicated with Vampires through my mind and mumbled, “Yeah, it was intense.”
We weren’t alone now as Mika and another girl named Penny stepped out of the showers and went about getting dressed. Tara still kept her voice down, but her remarks were more generic. “It must be so cool to see all of that stuff. I can hardly wait.” I could see that look in her eyes, the one I’d felt for so long before I forced my way onto the hunt that had gotten me almost turned. I was slightly jealous of her. She didn’t know what she didn’t know. It’s not all fun and games…. “But if something happened that was upsetting, you know you can talk to me, right?”
Her tone was nothing but sincere. She wasn’t fishing for gossip or trying to live vicariously through me. She was genuinely trying to be a friend. And I couldn’t accept her friendship because it was too hard to let go. So I said, “Yeah, thanks,” forced a smile, and headed to the shower.
I had no doubt in my mind that once I was done in the locker room, I would head over to tagging. I didn’t know if Bonnie was there or if Lena had taken her home, but I had this uncontrollable urge to see her. Part of me felt like Bonnie was the only one in the whole world who could make me feel like myself again. If I could somehow see that she was all right, that I’d done the right thing in bringing her here instead of fighting my team to keep her mom alive, perhaps I could finally get it out of my head that I worked with a bunch of “bad men” who had done something wrong.
Tara was putting her shoes on when I headed for the locker room door. I knew this would be easier if she wasn’t with me, so I shouted over my shoulder, “See you tomorrow,” and headed out, intending to go the wrong direction without any of the newbies seeing.
