Chapter 229
Cadence seemed upset that I’d never shared my fake kissing expeditions with her. It’s not like she ever told me anything about that sort of stuff either. I didn’t want to hear it, mind you. Barf. “Okay. Well, why were you afraid then? I thought you liked Brandon.”
“I do!” I exclaimed, my hands flailing. I was beginning to think I never should’ve mentioned this to her in the first place. “I was afraid about… you know.” Surely, by now, she’d figured out what I was getting at.
My sister stared at me in utter confusion. “What?” she asked, leaning in closely, her voice just above a whisper.
“Seriously?” I asked. My eyes rolled of their own accord. Was I really going to have to say this? Out loud? “I was afraid that I might….” I waited for her to catch on.
“What? Miss? Drool on him? Pee your pants? What?”
“Arghh!” I proclaimed, running both hands through my hair. Any of her ridiculous options would’ve been better than the truth. “No, that I might… bite him.”
“Huh?”
I gritted my teeth together and spat out, “With my… fangs.”
To my horror, my sister, the person I’d chosen to confide in, began to laugh. In my face. She covered up her mouth and leaned back, as if she could somehow hide what was happening, but the convulsions she was going into were either a steady chuckle, or she’d developed tremors recently. I was not amused. I folded my arms and waited as she continued to laugh like a hyena. Having experienced enough humiliation for one morning, I stood, but Cadence reached out and grabbed my arm. “No, no, stay. I’m okay,” she assured me. She looked like she was beginning to regain control of herself, but I still wanted to introduce her to said fangs intimately.
Eventually, she recaptured her emotions and said, “Cassidy, I’m sure that wouldn’t happen. Don’t you only get fangs when you’re angry or in attack mode?” She brushed tears from her cheeks and wiped her nose on the back of her hand.
With my eyes narrowed, I retorted, “No, I guess not since I don’t have any right now! Stop laughing at me! It isn’t funny!” I couldn’t remember the last time I was so furious with my sister.
“I’m sorry!” Cadence said, and I wanted to believe her, but I seriously couldn’t even stand her right now. “I didn’t mean to laugh. I wasn’t making fun of you. I was just picturing it in my head. Cass, I’m sure you wouldn’t accidentally bite Brandon.”
I wasn’t certain that made it any better—that she wasn’t actually laughing at me. It sure felt like she was. Realizing I was never telling another person what I’d just disclosed to my sister, I decided to press the issue. “Okay, but what if I did?” I asked. My anger at her morphed into something else, and I felt tears in my own eyes, not the kind that come with laughter. “God, Cadence. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have to live like this?”
“No, I don’t.” Cadence’s countenance changed completely, and I could tell now that she realized how serious I was.
A barrage of verbal diarrhea spewed forth out of my mouth uncontained. “I mean, I go to school, and I avoid everyone because I’m afraid they’ll know. I can’t go out with my friends because I’m afraid my fangs will pop out, or my contact will slip, and they’ll see my stupid eye. I have voices in my head all the time. And unlike your voices—they’re not talking to me, and they don’t even make any sense. I am the poster child for a freak show! Heck, I can’t even kiss the one guy I even care about because I’m afraid I’ll accidentally rip his face off.”
“Cass, I’m so sorry….”
Apparently, I wasn’t finished. “And then there’s Mom and Dad with their annoying, ‘You should go hang out with your friends. Go back to cheerleading. Join a club!’ crap. They don’t understand. No one understands! There is literally no one else in the entire world like me!”
By the time I finished the last sentence, tears were streaming down my face. I flung myself backward onto my sister’s bed, but she leaned forward and grabbed me by the arms, pulling me up to sitting. One look in my sister’s eyes, and I realized she understood me more than her fit of laughter had disclosed. I’d made one little mistake, and it had cost me my life as I knew it. I thought, perhaps, someone was finally starting to get that.
“Cassidy, listen to me,” Cadence said, leaning forward so I was forced to look her in the eyes. “I can’t imagine how you feel. I would be lying if I said I could. I do know what it feels like to wake up one day and realize everything has changed. Anyone who has gone through the Transformation process knows that, but we don’t know what it’s like to be the only one of our kind. Listen, I know it’s easy to focus on the negative—to remind yourself that there’s no one like you and how awful that could be—but you also have to remember what a unique opportunity this is.”
“For the team,” I interrupted, sure I was going to get that whole speech she’d rattled off before, about how my unique abilities would allow them to eavesdrop on Vampires, yadda yadda yadda.
Cadence surprised me. “No, not just for the team. For you. Look, all I’ve heard about myself for the past year or so is how amazing I am, how I have special powers. I’m faster, stronger, better able to follow my instincts, than everyone else.” I was just about ready to roll my eyes at her when she said, “That can be intimidating. There are times when I doubt myself, when I think, ‘What if I can’t measure up? What if I let the team down?’” I had no idea my sister ever felt that way. She always seemed so confident, so sure of herself. She continued. “So, from that aspect, I totally get what you’re saying. Those are the times when you just have to remember this is a gift, an opportunity to help others in a way that they’ve never been helped before. I don’t know why I was chosen to be the Hunter Leader—why I happen to be better at this than most other Hunters—but it’s who I am. I can either fight it, fear it, or embrace it.”
I stared at my sister for long moment before I dropped my eyes. I hadn’t spent a whole lot of time thinking about how what had happened to me could save other people. Sure, I’d wanted to be a Vampire Hunter for as long as I’d known they existed, but was it because I wanted to help others, or had it been because I wanted to prove myself? Those were not the same thing. I went back over everything Cadence had said. She doubted herself? I never would’ve guessed. Every day, she chose to accept her circumstances and be the best Hunter she could be. It made sense. I needed to think on it some more.
Quietly, I asked, “So… you just choose to embrace it?”
“Every day,” Cadence reiterated. “It’s a choice I have to make every day.”
I took a deep breath and met her eyes, letting the tears continue to stream down my face unabated. “But you have the team with you. To reassure you. To make you feel strong. I don’t have that. All I have is Brandon, usually via IAC, and sometimes you when you’re not too busy, and Mom to tell me how pretty I look or how straight my teeth are.”
Cadence giggled, knowing that would be our mother’s way of reassuring me that my teeth looked normal. “I’m sorry if I haven’t done a very good job of supporting you.”
“It’s not that,” I said quickly. That had not been my point. “I know you’re doing the best you can, and you’re super busy running… the whole world.” The tears were coming faster now. “I just feel so… all alone.” I’d said it. Hopefully, she’d heard it.
She must have. Cadence scooted forward and wrapped her arms around me, and I melted into her shoulder, glad to feel her strong arms enshrouding me. “You’re not,” Cadence whispered. “You’re not alone. We are all here to support you.”
I heard her words, but I needed to see it in her eyes. I pulled back so that I could look into them. “Do you mean that?” I swiped at the tears now. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yes,” Cadence assured me. “What can I do to show you I mean it?”
I didn’t hesitate then. It was now or never. Without even thinking about how best to say it, I blurted, “I want to move to headquarters.” Cadence’s eyes enlarged, but I kept on. “I know everyone thinks I should stay here and finish high school, try to be normal. But I’m not normal. And if that’s going to be okay, then, it’s time for me to go live with people who at least have some sort of understanding of what it’s like to be different.”
I studied my sister’s face for the longest time, holding my breath, waiting to hear what sort of creative excuse she’d come up with. Instead, she shocked me by saying, “Okay. If that’s what you want, then that works for me.”
As soon as I’d processed her words, a goofy grin broke out across my face. I must’ve looked like a little kid under the Christmas tree. But then I realized I’d been double crossed before. “Wait,” I said, clutching her arm. “Does that mean, ‘Okay, I’ll talk to Aaron and see if I can get his permission,’ or ‘Okay, let’s make this happen’?”
Cadence laughed. “Hey, if I don’t need Aaron’s permission to bring Elliott back from the dead, I certainly don’t need his permission to relocate my little sister to headquarters. He’s not the boss of me, you know?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her word choice. My face was beaming now, no more tears even threatening. The idea that I could actually move to headquarters, leave Shenandoah and my old life behind for good, had me giddy. Even the prospect of talking to my parents about it seemed doable. If Cadence approved it, surely they would let me. “Okay, then,” I said, slamming my hands down on my thighs. “I guess I need to talk to Mom and Dad.”
“And pack,” Cadence reminded me.
“I hope they will listen as well as you did.” I also hoped she realized what a compliment that was. I hadn’t expected her to listen to me at all, and I was walking out of her room getting exactly what I’d wanted. I reached over and wrapped my arms around my sister’s neck, and she squeezed me.
With a deep breath, I let her go and bounded toward the door, wondering how in the world I would broach the subject with the parental units. I’d find a way.
“Good luck!” Cadence called from behind me, but I was already down the hallway. It seemed like my emotions were on a pendulum of late, but I was determined not to let them swing back the other direction—not yet. My parents just had to say yes.
