Chapter 305
I could see my explanation as to why I was so upset at him was making sense to Brandon. He took it all in and processed for a few seconds before he reached up and caressed my cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry, Cass. I had no idea you felt that way. If I had….”
“No, it’s okay,” I interrupted, taking his other hand in mine so I had both of them. His green eyes were glistening slightly, as if his emotions were starting to get the better of him, too. I didn’t want him to feel that way. “It isn’t your fault. I realize now, obviously, that all of them needed to be destroyed.” I thought about Bonnie and how she had been so small and frail and then turned into a savage that ripped out my friends’ throats. I was sure he could see the guilt on my face; there was no reason to explain to him now how I was feeling about her. “I just needed to remember that, as much as they can suck me in and make me feel like I’m one of them, I’m not.” The depth of his green eyes helped solidify what I was saying, helped anchor me. “And I never will be.”
“No, you’re not. You’re a Hunter, Cass. An amazing one with gifts like nothing any of us have ever seen before. What you did last night, fixing the IACs, it was amazing. Time and again, you step up and make a bold move that saves the team. You’re incredible. And the thought of not being with you….” His voice broke, and both of us had tears in our eyes now as I reflected on his compliment, and he considered the end of us.
“You don’t need to worry about that,” I assured him, wiping away a tear from his face. “Listen, I’m not sure I’m quite as awesome as you just made me out to be, Brandon, but there’s something you need to know.”
“I’m certain you are,” he said, almost under his breath, “but what is it?”
I took a deep breath and imagined this must be what it felt like to go to confession at church. “I’m pretty sure whatever it is that’s causing the Vampires to act so unruly, it’s affecting me, too.”
Brandon stared at me for a second like he wasn’t sure if it was okay to agree with me. “Why do you say that?”
There were a lot of reasons, so many I couldn’t list. What I’d just told him for starters. “Because I hissed at Shane yesterday in training, and I almost lost it with Christian last night.” I had been so close to throwing myself at the Guardian to test whether or not I was capable of ending him…. Okay, maybe not really. But I was madder than I’d been in a long time.
Brandon smirked at me. “Well, in fairness, they’re both a couple of jerks.”
“Nevertheless, I probably shouldn’t try to kill them. I might just be able to.”
“Of course you can. You’re a Hunter,” Brandon reasoned. “You could crush my skull right now.”
I rolled my eyes at him, knowing he was much stronger than me. “I’m being serious.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It does sound like something we need to deal with, but I know it’s not something you can’t handle, Cass. You didn’t kill either one of them, even if they deserved it.”
A smile spread across my face. He was taking my side even though he had no idea what had happened. “True. Maybe… if it doesn’t get any stronger, I’ll be able to fight it off.” I hoped that was the case. I was tired of not feeling like myself. I was tired of letting other people’s wishes dictate my actions, especially when I didn’t know it was happening.
“Have you mentioned this to anyone?” he asked.
I shook my head, thinking that probably would’ve been a good idea days ago. “No, the only person I’d really trust is Jamie, and he’s been a little busy.” I hoped he knew I meant people other than him.
“Right. Well, maybe you should tell your sister.”
I bit back a laugh. Cadence wouldn’t be able to help me with this. But I didn’t giggle in his face. I could understand why he was making the suggestion even if I knew Cadence wasn’t an option. “Good idea. I’m sorry I didn’t just talk to you about this.” If I had told him what was going on before Bonnie, maybe before the RV park, it was possible none of this would’ve happened. We certainly wouldn’t have been at odds with each other the last two days, and I wouldn’t have made him think I didn’t love him anymore. I wasn’t going to say that word, though. I hadn’t told him how I felt. Maybe that was something else I had just figured out about myself. That I love Brandon….
“Me, too,” he said regarding being sorry, pulling me back to the conversation, out of my head. He literally pulled me closer, too, and I gazed up into his green eyes. He ran his hand through my hair, and I felt calmer than I had in days. In a whisper, he asked, “Does this mean you still want to be my girlfriend?”
Breathless, I replied, “Yes, please,” and Brandon kissed me. Everything was better now. Everything was back to normal. I didn’t have a care in the world or a worry on my mind.
Until I heard Dax shouting my name. I pulled away from Brandon as my new friend screamed, “Cassidy! She’s flatlining!”
Images of Tara flooded my mind. I’d forgotten all about her in those few moments Brandon and I had been talking. Now, I thought about the brave girl who’d fought so hard to live, and I took off running toward the operating room as fast as I could, praying that if she died, it wouldn’t be permanent.
