Chapter 486
I didn’t want to be in Lucy’s apartment with my friends. I didn’t want to sit on the couch and hold Brandon’s hand and pretend everything was okay when I knew what was happening on the other side of the world. I wanted to shout for someone to hear me, that this was bad, that this was very bad. I thought about contacting my sister. I could’ve easily jumped into her head, and she would’ve had to listen to me. But she wouldn’t have had to get on an airplane and come home. She could just take the same approach as my other so-called friends, Elliott and Jamie, and choose to wait. So what was the point in interrupting her trip for that? There was none.
I could’ve plotted my own trip to Europe, as had crossed my mind earlier. I could’ve bought a plane ticket and headed that way and not even gone to Hungary necessarily, just in the vicinity. Then, they’d have to come—all of them, including my sister and Aaron. But thoughts of what my mother would do to me made me stop. Pennywise glared at me from the TV. I was evil sometimes, too, but not that evil.
Brandon asked me if I was okay. I smiled at him. No, not okay. Stop asking. He turned back to the movie. He must’ve asked me if I was all right or okay a hundred times in the amount of minutes it took that creepy clown to kill whoever he was trying to kill. By the time it was over, I was ready to go lock myself up in a padded room. No, I was not okay.
“I’m fine. I’m really fine. Just tired.”
With the lights back on, everyone wanted to know how it went. I told them not well. I’d presented, and Hannah was going to look at my data, but it probably wouldn’t lead to anything.
“Well, you never know,” Tara said with a reassuring smile. “She might decide to go.”
“Yeah, she might.” She wouldn’t.
“And at least you did something,” Lucy said with a shrug. “There’s not much else you can do unless they approve it. You’re not in charge, after all.”
“Right.” Maybe I should be....
The subject got changed quickly enough to the Chiefs’ next opponent on Sunday, and I was glad for it because I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I just wanted to go home.
So I did.
Brandon seemed slightly startled when I got up off of the couch and said, “I’m gonna go.”
“Sorry—forgot you’re not much of a football fan,” Dax said.
I just looked at him for a second. It wasn’t that—I liked football. I was just busy. But I didn’t feel the need to explain at the moment. I just smiled at him and walked to the door. The rest of my friends chorused a goodbye, and Brandon followed me—even into the hallway.
“You okay?” he asked for the millionth time.
“I’m fine. Just tired. And... I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
He nodded, but it didn’t seem like he really understood what I was saying. Brandon’s one of those people who is usually pretty optimistic in nature, despite all he’s been through, so when he gets knocked down, he gets back up. Recently, I’d become more of a wallower—let me just stay down here in this ditch for a few moments and remember how my life isn’t fair....
“Okay. Well, I guess... I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Yep.” I forced a smile onto my face. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him the next day. I had no idea what I was going to do the next day. I had put so much time and energy into trying to get the team to move, now that the answer was a big fat no, would I keep working in case I could change their minds or just... wallow.
“Goodnight, Cass.” He kissed me and I pulled away a little quicker than he would’ve liked, but I had things to do. Or did I? I didn’t know. I just didn’t want to be there anymore.
Lucy’s apartment is just a few doors down from my own, so theoretically, I should’ve been able to make it that far without seeing anyone, but Elliott stepped off of the elevator just as I was passing it. I almost said a level-four cursie when I saw him. I was still mad at him about earlier, and he was probably going to try to patch it up. I was too tired for that.
“Hey, lil girl,” he said, looking almost as irritated at seeing me as I was to see him.
“Hey.” I glanced behind me to see if Brandon was still in the hallway. He wasn’t. I figured he still hadn’t accepted that his dad had been less than helpful at the meeting, so why would he hang out and watch us discuss it?
“You better now? Get it out of your system?”
The question seemed a bit patronizing or belittling or something, but what was the point in trying to explain that to him? “I’m fine.”
“Good. Because... really, in the scheme of things, a few days isn’t very long. Your sis will be back soon, and then we’ll get it all sorted out.”
“Right.” I could see his point. When you’re as old as Elliott is, a few days probably seems like a sprinkle in a bucket. “It’s all good.” It wasn’t. Did I mention I was tired?
“I can tell you’re lying, but I’m gonna leave you alone now. It seems to me this is one of the few nights where there ain’t no kids in my apartment, and I’ve got a box of leftover Chinese in the fridge callin’ my name.”
That did make me smile, despite my angst. “Don’t get indigestion,” I said, turning away from him.
He didn’t let me get more than a few steps, though, before his giant paw reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me to him. He squeezed me pretty tight, and I felt my agitation start to melt away, smothered by the scent of his aftershave and leather jacket. I had missed that smell so much when he was dead. I was suddenly reminded of how dumb I was being for getting mad at him.
After he released me, there really wasn’t anything else to say, so I made my way to my apartment and opened the door before I reached it so I wouldn’t get caught by anyone else. Elliott really is a great guy, even if sometimes he doesn’t understand women or says things a little too bluntly. His son is pretty great, too. Lately, I seemed to be having a hard time keeping those two facts in the forefront of my mind.
I decided to go to bed, despite the fact that my stomach was growling. I hadn’t wanted any pizza, obviously, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t hungry. Still, the thought of cooking something for myself, even a microwavable meal, didn’t sound like much fun. I changed into my pajamas, did my nighttime routine, and made sure my alarm was set in case I decided to go to training. Part of me was irritated at Aurora, too, and I didn’t particularly want to go help her, especially on a Saturday. She doesn’t really need me anyway. Of course, if I went, it might give me another chance to present my side of the issue to her.
But I knew I was wasting my time. Even if she is the second-in-command Hunter, Aurora wasn’t going to do anything without Hannah being on board, and Hannah was not easily persuaded. She would look at my data, and in a few days, she’d probably tell me she appreciates all of my work but she prefers to wait for Aaron. There was no point.
I settled into my bed, closing my eyes and trying not to picture the faces of Havel and Mika Novak, an impossible task, regardless of the fact that I’d never seen either of them in person. I’d never been in her head, though I’d looked around in his, trying to figure out where she might be. I hadn’t lasted long in there; he was so distraught, it was like a black hole, sucking all of the joy out of my life, and I didn’t need any other downers at the time.
Their faces flickered through my mind, along with some of the others I’d seen in the papers, and I tried to fall asleep, hoping by some miracle, someone would change their mind and do something. Someone had to do something soon... before it was too late.
