Chapter 500
The scrutinizing look on Brandon’s face was more than a little bothersome. “Where? Where is there a hunt going on tonight?”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Not at him but at the fact that I probably wasn’t even supposed to know. “In the forbidden land, the place we shall not speak of.”
Brandon was with me now. He shook his head and asked, “The Czech Republic?”
“Close. Hungary. So... I’m sorry, but I need to be ready in case they need me.” They would definitely need me, especially if Mila was under the impression that Eliza was able to get the necessary information to track Honey without knowing her source. I didn’t like being so rude to Brandon, but he didn’t have all of the information I did, so he had no way of knowing just how important it was that I was ready when Eliza called.
He wasn’t walking away, though. “Why in the world would you be helping the team in Eastern Europe, Cass? Did your sister tell you to do that?”
“No, but someone asked me for my help, someone who is aware of the problem over there, and so I offered to give it to them. So if you don’t mind....”
Brandon was staring at me in a way that really made me uncomfortable. I held his gaze for a moment, aware that Eliza wanted something. I couldn’t look away from him, though. It was like he was going back over our entire relationship in his head. I’d hurt his feelings again. I really hadn’t meant to, but... I’d thought if anyone could understand how important it was to me to be involved in this, it would be him. He didn’t seem to understand.
But he did say, “Okay, Cass. If that’s what you want....”
“That’s what I need right now, Brandon.” I tried to be gentle, to make him see this really had nothing to do with him. Because I know that’s not what he was thinking. For some reason, he wanted to put all of my recent distraction on his shoulders, to assume it had to do with Alex. And this didn’t. At least, I didn’t think it did.
His face melted into something else, a look I couldn’t recall ever seeing from him before. When his mouth opened again, I could hardly believe what he was saying. “Listen, then, uh, maybe we should take a break. You know, just until you, uh, get caught up with everything. Or until you get things figured out.”
I knew what he was saying without needing clarification, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. So I asked for clarification anyway. “A break?” I think my mouth was hanging open for the entirety of his answer. I just couldn’t believe this was happening.
“Yeah, I don’t want to keep bothering you when you’re busy. You know where I’m at when you’re ready to talk.”
I closed my mouth—finally—and looked him in the eyes. I should’ve felt terrible. The pain in those green orbs was relentless. And I had put it there. I could fix it. I could ask him in right now and explain everything to him. I could let him read Alex’s note for himself and confide in Brandon, my boyfriend, the guy I loved, that I was confused about Alex’s feelings for me and what it might mean if I ever meet another guy with similar feelings. I could explain how I felt worthless because I couldn’t find Havel’s wife, how I was just excited to finally be helping, even if I wasn’t there in person and had to partner with the likes of Christian and Eliza.
I didn’t say any of those things. When I finally answered, it was only to say, “Okay.”
He looked surprised, like he had expected me to say something else, or wanted me to anyway. His eyes dropped to the bouquet in his hand, and he thrust it at me again. I took it, because, what else could I do? He shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans, my favorite pair, the dark ones that are still soft and comfortable but look dressier than most of his others. Without another word, he pivoted on one heel and started down the hall.
“Brandon!”
He stopped and turned to look at me, his eyes wide with inquiry.
I didn’t know why I’d called his name. I just felt like I needed more answers, though the questions I wanted to ask took a minute to form before I asked, “You mean, like a break-break, right? Not like a... frozen yogurt break?” I prayed he’d know what I was talking about because if I had to say the actual words instead of using a vague reference to an episode of Friends to express myself, I’d be in even more trouble.
“Yes, I mean like a real ‘we were on a break’ break.”
I knew that, of course. But hearing him say it again made it even more difficult to breathe. I managed somehow. “’Kay.”
“Kay.”
He walked away from me, and I stood there for a second staring after him before I went inside and closed the door. I looked at the flowers, aware that Eliza needed my help, that I needed to concentrate on my work and not let what had just happened with Brandon destroy me, though I didn’t know how that might be possible. I plunked the flowers down on the counter, realizing that without water they’d feel just as suffocated as I felt at the moment, sucking air into lungs that refused to take it in, and sat back down on my couch, hoping that the numbness settling over me would at least get me through this hunt. Because Eliza was going to need me, and even if I didn’t particularly care for her, I did hate the monsters she was fighting almost as much as I currently hated myself.
