Chapter 45
School was cancelled for the rest of the week, which was just as well because no one would be going anyway. We would have our finals when we returned from our two-week Christmas break, and the little kids would have a winter party instead of a Christmas party upon their return. Plans were adjusted, schedules were changed, people did what needed to be done to get by since our small community had lost a second young life inside of a month’s time.
I’d slept late into the morning, which was unusual for me, but despite my nap, I was completely exhausted in every way imaginable. The night before, my parents had gotten me out of bed long enough to pick at a piece of chicken, but the last thing I wanted to do was eat. By the time I’d checked my phone, everyone already knew, so I didn’t bother to text anything back except for to let Lucy, Emma, Milo, and Wes know that I was okay. If that was the case, it didn’t feel like it, but I could hardly tell them how I really felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my body and crushed it before my very eyes.
It was mid-afternoon when we heard a car pull into our driveway. My dad and mom exchanged glances, and I swiped at my eyes again. We all knew Cadence would be home that day; I just had no idea who she would be when she got here.
We all went to the door to greet her. Something about her looked different again. She was wearing a faux smile, and I could tell that she’d been crying some, too, though I knew her eyes were not as puffy as mine. Her skin had a sheen to it I couldn’t quite place. I didn’t understand why I felt like grim death and my sister, Jack’s ex-girlfriend, looked like a supermodel.
I was relieved to see she wasn’t alone. After she’d hugged all of her family members, Cadence said, “Mom, Dad, Cass, you’ve all met Elliott. And this is Hannah.”
I smiled at Elliott the best I could, and the look in his eyes when he looked at me was nothing but empathetic. I wondered if he could climb inside of my head now and convince me that it was okay that Jack had died. I think I would’ve welcomed it.
Hannah was tall and thin, though not as tall as my sister, and she had long strawberry-blonde hair. She wore a professional looking skirt and jacket with a turtleneck under it, all in matching tones of gray. If I had to guess, I’d say she was in her mid-thirties, but at this point, I knew there was no way to tell. “Cassidy,” she said, her voice like a song, “it is so very nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” I took her outstretched hand, and the moment I did, a wave of warmth hit me. Suddenly, the despair I’d been holding on to since my mother had given me the news seemed to fall away, and I could breathe again.
I looked at Elliott, and he smiled at me just long enough for me to understand that Hannah had some sort of ability, too, and that it was okay for me to give in to it. “It’s nice to meet you, too,” I said to Hannah. We all headed into the living room to make small talk and pretend like Jack wasn’t dead, and I could see that my sister looked more haggard now than she had in the direct sunlight of the front porch. She sat next to me and put her arm around my shoulders. I let her lean her head on my arm and pretend like she was the same sister I’d had not long ago, the one I knew and trusted. I wasn’t sure what she was now, and I didn’t like the fact that she couldn’t tell me. Still, she was obviously hurting. Maybe I didn’t see it at first because of whatever Hannah was doing to her, doing to us.
As my dad took his usual seat, he asked, “Where’s Aaron?”
“Billings,” Elliott said. “He’ll be here in a day or two.”
My dad nodded in understanding and the conversation rolled along, but all I could think about was whether or not this was actually my sister next to me or just something that looked mostly like her.
Elliott was sitting on her other side, sitting close, very close. And as we continued to talk, I noticed that my sister reached over with her free hand and took ahold of his. This seemed odd to me. I wasn’t sure if Cadence was just trying to stabilize her emotions by having direct contact with the two of us or if something else was going on. Was there more than just a friendship between the two of them?
“How are Alice and Steve?” my mom asked, crossing her legs and leaning forward in her recliner, as she had a tendency to do when she was nervous.
Cadence sat up only slightly. “They’re about as well as can be expected.” Her voice was solemn. “I’m sure it will take a very long time for them to go through the grieving process.”
Hannah spoke up in her soft voice from where she sat on the love seat across from my parents. “The grieving process is so vitally important for each of us to go through in order to return to any semblance of normalcy once we have a devastating loss of this nature.”
Both of my parents nodded and agreed, and I noticed again how clinical her voice sounded. “Are you a counselor of some sort?” I asked, hoping my tone seemed inquisitive and not at all accusatory, since I didn’t mean the question to come across that way. But I was suspicious of everyone.
Hannah looked at me and smiled. She was pretty in an unassuming way, and she sort of reminded me of the lady who plays Rayna on Nashville. “I am,” she said, her voice very calm. I nodded. I wanted to ask why Cadence brought along her own personal grief counselor, but I thought that might seem aggressive. “I’m happy to help any of you who might be struggling with the horrible events of the past few weeks.”
