Chapter 61
We went to church on Christmas Eve like we have every year for as long as I can remember, but my mom was solemn the entire time, and I couldn’t really blame her. Even though I hoped my sister was having a good time on her date, I also missed her desperately. There was something missing when Cadence wasn’t there, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. It was as if part of my heart had been stolen away from me. I tried not to think of the dangers she might be in, the threats that might come up against her because of her new situation, and focus instead on how happy she seemed to be, whatever she was these days.
I’d wrapped the gift I’d purchased for Elliott but didn’t bother to put it under the Christmas tree. He wasn’t coming for Christmas either, obviously, if my sister wasn’t even going to make it home. I slipped it onto the top shelf of my closet, thinking he might show up sometime, sooner or later. He had sent me a text earlier to wish me a Merry Christmas Eve, but when I’d asked how he was spending his evening, his response was vague. Only, “With friends.”
I sat in front of the big picture window in our living room with the shades open, only the light of the Christmas tree illuminating the space, and stared at the snow. It wasn’t falling, not right now, but there was plenty on the ground, and the wind would whip up from time to time and stir it, giving the illusion it was coming down again. I thought about how different things were last year. Across town, Drew Peterson’s little brothers would be going to bed soon, probably asking Santa to bring back their sister. Alice and Steve Cook had lost their only child; Christmas would never be the same for them.
My dad was stealthier than usual, so I hardly heard him until my mom’s recliner creaked beneath his weight. I was sitting in his. “Want your chair?” I asked, still staring out the window. I imagined I knew what the answer would be.
“That’s okay,” he replied. “I just came to see how you were doing.”
Once we’d returned from church, we had our usual Christmas Eve dinner of chicken and dumplings and my mom’s apple streusel. We’d added a few more ornaments to the tree, the special ones my mom liked to save for last, and then hung the stockings by the chimney. A lonely tear had splashed down my mother’s face when she hung up Cadence’s.
“I’m fine,” I said, managing to turn my head and give him a small smile. I’d always had a good relationship with my dad, always felt like he was my protector, like he’d do anything he could to keep me and Cadence safe, and I wondered if he still felt that way right now. I didn’t feel like I could ask, though.
“This has been a hard past few months for us,” he said, and I questioned his math. I think it seemed like an eternity, but it hadn’t even been one month since Drew passed away, unless he meant since Cadence went to school. “I know we’ve asked a lot of you lately, Cassidy, and I appreciate the fact that you’re always so compliant. I know this can’t be easy for you either.”
Sitting up a little straighter, I studied my dad for a moment. I wasn’t quite sure what he meant. Perhaps he was talking about sending me out of the room so he and Mom could talk, or the fact that he knew so much more than I did but didn’t let on. Once again, I felt like questioning the situation would somehow make his assessment of my compliance wrong, so I decided to let it go.
But there were other questions, more innocent questions, I felt inclined to ask. “Is Cadence out on a date tonight, Dad? With Aaron?”
My dad is honest to a fault, and it was something I’d been able to take advantage of a few times recently. Sometimes he doesn’t see the harm in answering my questions until he already has. By then, my mom has usually intercepted, but right now, she was in the bedroom finishing up a little bit of last minute wrapping.
“I believe that’s where she’s at,” he nodded. “I think your sister is quite smitten with him.”
He didn’t seem to have an opinion about Aaron, as far as I could tell, whereas my mom seemed to make it quite clear that she preferred Elliott. I’d overheard a few comments the past few weeks to let me know that was the case. I got the impression now, however, that Elliott thought of my sister much the same way he thought of me—like he was our older brother--and I think Cadence saw him the same way. I cleared my throat. “Why doesn’t mom like Aaron?”
My dad’s overly bushy eyebrows shot up. “What makes you think she doesn’t like him?”
I almost giggled. “I don’t know. Maybe the way she says his name like it has more than two syllables and hurts her tongue.”
My dad laughed, and I couldn’t help but let out the giggle. “Okay, I can see that. I’m not sure, Cass. I think… I think your mom sees Aaron different than your sister. He has a pretty important job, and he’s quite a bit older than your sister. Maybe your mom thinks he isn’t the right match for her.”
I nodded, wanting to ask exactly how old Mr. McReynolds was, but I got the impression my dad wouldn’t tell me anyway. There was no sense asking about Aaron’s job, or Cadence’s, so I let that go as well. “What do you think of him?”
Giving a shrug, my dad said, “I want Cadence to be happy. If he makes her happy, I’m okay with that. Grandma seems to think a lot of him.”
Knowing how close my dad was to my grandma, his mom, it made sense to me that he’d be more inclined to side with Grandma Janette’s intuition than my mother’s. While Mom had grown quite fond of Jack, I vaguely remembered when Cadence had first started dating him, and our mother had been less than enthusiastic. “Do you think she’ll come home soon?”
“I hope so. I think your sister just has a few things to work out right now. It’s hard being in a new town, with new people, and a new job.”
Nodding, I thought about mentioning LIGHTS, the name my mom had used the day before. Sometimes, if my dad thinks I already know something, he’s more inclined to think it’s okay to say something in front of me. But I let it go. There would be lots of other chances to poke around for information about what my sister was doing, what my sister was. For now, I was content to look out on the yard with my dad.
After about twenty minutes, my mom walked in. “You ready to set out the cookies?” she asked.
While I’d given up on Santa being real a long time ago, it didn’t seem to hurt to play along. I was doing a lot of that in other areas of my life. What was one more? “Sure,” I replied, hopping out of the chair and crossing the room so we could go to the kitchen to collect what we needed. Maybe, if I went to sleep early, Santa would bring me the present I really wanted, and I’d open my eyes to life before the Eidolon Festival. Although I didn’t think that was possible, as I set out cookies, milk, and carrots, I at least hoped there’d be enough of a miracle that my sister would somehow be there when I woke up. Something told me that was a long shot as well. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t worth praying for.
