Chapter 505
I tried not to think about anything disturbing so I could chill out a little bit, but nothing that came to mind was exactly settling. Not the dream I’d planted, not the reality it had come from, and certainly not the fleeting thought that Brandon had broken up with me. I definitely couldn’t dwell on that at the moment.
Breathing deeply seemed to be helping. I checked my heart rate again and saw that it was falling. Normally, my resting heartbeat is slow, like 50 bpm, so it had been working a lot harder than usual. I was glad I hadn’t tried to take Eliza’s exact footage and stick it in Cadence’s mind without building it from my own memory because who knows what that might’ve done to me.
I was hoping to hear from my sister soon. If it had worked, she should wake up with her heart thundering, too, though not as quickly as mine had been. Hopefully, she’d reach out soon. I could see her contacting someone else, like Aurora or Elliott and not me, but I couldn’t imagine she wouldn’t let me know she was coming home. Surely, she wouldn’t just let this go, even if Roar or Elliott had no idea what she was talking about. Wouldn’t Aaron contact Hannah? And if Mila and Hannah were talking about what was going on now, as it seemed they were, Hannah would tell him that the creatures were real, right?
Regardless of the scenario, there wasn’t much of a chance my sister would come straight to me unless she could somehow tell that the dream had originated in my mind, and I didn’t think that was possible.
So there was no point in me sitting here dwelling on it—difficult as that was. There were other things to dwell on. Like the fact that I had been dumped.
I didn’t want to dwell on that either. Now that my heart wasn’t racing, I decided to check on Christian again. I knew he didn’t want me to contact him, and I didn’t plan on doing that. But I did need to make sure he was okay. What if he had found Daunator, and it turned out he could kill the Guardian after all? That would be bad.
Christian was still in the woods, and he hadn’t seen the Vampire, or anyone else, not since he’d left the airport, anyway. Satisfied that he was all right, I ran a hand through my damp hair and went to the bathroom, intending to ready myself for bed.
My reflection showed just how hard I’d been working to get that dream into my sister’s head. Hair stuck to my forehead in little wisps, and my brow was still clammy. My eyes looked a little sunken. I looked tired. I didn’t like it. I wished I could brush my teeth without staring at myself but looking away wasn’t really an option either.
In my pajamas, I went to make sure the door was locked, more out of habit than fear, and then stopped by the fridge for some water before I headed back to bed. My phone needed to charge, so I plugged it in and then plunked myself down on the bed.
And thoughts of Brandon crowded my brain. What had happened? Why in the world did he think we needed a break? I knew I’d been distant lately, that I’d let the situation with Alex consume me—until I’d moved on to this mess with Christian. And it had been a mess because no one else would listen to me. If the higher-ups would just understand how important this is, maybe all of this wouldn’t have fallen on me, and then I’d have more time to be a regular kid.
Those were excuses, though. I knew something had changed in me with that second round of serum. It had done something to my Vampire parts, something that made me a little less the sweet girl I’d been before all of this and a lot more feisty—and self-absorbed. I needed to figure out how to balance that back out again because the last thing I wanted was to end up in a situation where no one liked me because of my Vampire-ness.
That had happened to Heather, after all. Sure, the circumstances were different. And she hadn’t had a second dose of serum, either, not until recently. But the Hunters hadn’t trusted her, and the Vampires either feared her or loathed her, which is how she ended up getting tossed into the portal in the first place. I knew my friends and family would never do something like that to me, but I also didn’t ever think any of them would walk away from me—until today.
I never would’ve thought Brandon would do that. Not that he just abandoned ship. He was doing this for me, or at least he thought he was. He seemed to think I didn’t have time for him and my work right now, and maybe he was right. I hadn’t been putting a lot of priority on our relationship. I was trying to avoid the discussion I needed to have with him to the point that I’d driven him away. And I hated that. I needed to run down there and talk to him, to explain why I’d been acting the way I was. But that would mean facing what Alex had said to me, and I wasn’t ready for that.
I imagined Brandon wasn’t home anyway. Why would he be? He could go out after 11:00 with our friends. He’d wanted to go out tonight. Maybe he was back at Pizza Triangle with Heather and the gang. The idea of him spending the evening cutting up with our friends after what he’d said to me made my stomach churn. Maybe he was just as upset I was and was at home, in bed, crying. No, I doubted that, too. He was probably eating pizza and watching TV, maybe at Dax’s apartment. Maybe at his place.
It really didn’t matter where he was. He wasn’t here. And if I didn’t figure out how to fix this, he never would be again. How was I ever going to fall asleep with all of these thoughts churning around in my head? I let out a deep sigh, picked up an extra pillow and plopped it on top of my head, determined not to think about Brandon any more that night. I couldn’t do anything now. I couldn’t apologize over the IAC. So I may as well get some sleep.
Unfortunately, my brain didn’t get that memo, and my thoughts continued to circle with what ifs. It was going to be a long night....
