Chapter 536
Taking a deep breath, I knocked on Brandon’s door, hoping my mouth would be as confident as my feet had been when they led me here. I was praying he was home while I still had the nerve to talk to him about everything. But he wasn’t answering. I knocked again, a little harder this time, but not the bone-shattering way I’d pounded on his door the night before.
Waiting for him to open up, I thought about the conversation I’d just had with the bosses. I didn’t want to go over it all again. I couldn’t explain why I felt the way I did, but I felt like I was letting everyone down. At one point, I actually thought I should go ahead and get Christian while I was sitting there, but I hadn’t done it. I hated the fact that Cadence had put me in the middle of the situation—keep my promise or help the team. Maybe I was just being stubborn.
And with Elliott’s speech earlier, about how I’m not who I used to be and I’m so disappointing, it probably would’ve been smarter to just tell them. But something about giving Christian’s location up made me feel like I wasn’t just lying to him when I said I wouldn’t tell them—I’d be lying to myself. I was done doing that. Was that what Mrs. C meant when she said I was trying to be true to myself?
I pounded on the door a lot harder this time. I knew Elliott wasn’t there because the leadership team was having their meeting soon, one I would’ve normally liked to have been included in, but not after the conversation we’d just had. Where was Brandon?
Frustrated, I banged one more time and then slumped with my head on the door. I could’ve reached out for him with my telepathy to see if he was home or even tried the IAC, but I didn’t feel like doing either of those things. I’d been compelled to come here; if fate wanted me to talk to my ex-boyfriend, couldn’t it have at least arranged for him to open the door?
Feeling dumb for even wanting to put myself out there like this, I turned to go. Brandon was standing just outside of Dax’s apartment, the door closing so that I knew he’d just walked out. His hands were shoved way down in the pockets of his jeans, the ones I like so well, and he was staring at me like he didn’t know what to say. “Are you looking for me?”
I took a deep breath and realized I was fidgeting. I tried to keep my fingers from intertwining in front of me, but they had a mind of their own. “I was.”
His green eyes stayed on my face for a long moment. “Are you still?”
It was hard to look him in the eyes when he was so focused on me, but this was an important question that didn’t really have anything to do with me knocking on his door. Thankfully, the answer was obvious. “I am.”
He swallowed hard enough for me to see his throat move with the effort. His eyes didn’t move, though. At least a full minute seemed to pass before he said, “Okay,” and slowly started toward me. He looked uncertain, like he didn’t know what we should do.
“Could we go into your apartment for a few minutes and talk? I take it your dad’s not home since he didn’t answer.” And he has a meeting soon.
“Sure.” Brandon’s hesitancy lessened as he moved to the door and opened it for me. “He’s not here. I think they’re getting ready for a meeting or something.”
I knew that of course, but I just nodded. The apartment still wasn’t sure about me and didn’t quite feel welcoming yet. I glanced at my spot on the sofa but sat down on the edge of the recliner instead. Brandon sat down in his usual spot. “Can I get you a Dr. Pepper or something? Are you hungry?”
“I’m fine, thanks.” It was nice of him to ask. I managed a smile and cleared my throat, having no idea where to start with all of the things I needed to say to him. My tongue felt thick all of a sudden, and my mouth went dry. I swallowed and tried again. He was staring at me expectantly. “I’m not even sure what it is I want to say,” I admitted.
An encouraging smile took over his face, though I could still see he was nervous about what I was going to tell him. “That’s okay. Take your time. I’ve not nothing going on.” He leaned back against the sofa, trying to demonstrate his relaxed state, I supposed. But his knee was bouncing up and down, and he couldn’t quite decide where to put his arms. Eventually, he rested one on the armrest and the other on the back of the couch.
I inhaled deeply, let out a little sigh, and then decided to just start talking. But when I opened my mouth, no words came out. So I closed it again. My mouth was so dry. “Can I have some water?”
“Sure.” He hopped up off of the couch and was gone in a flash. I could’ve gotten it myself, but I was afraid if I got up, I might head back out the door.
A second later, I had a cold bottle of water in my hand. I thanked him and then unscrewed the lid, letting the cool liquid wash down my throat, praying it would loosen my tongue.
He was back on the couch when I set the bottle down on the floor and tried again. “So... there’s something I need to tell you.” He nodded. Obviously, he knew that. I let out a deep breath. “I made a promise I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I’m not sure why I feel like I need to tell you this now when it doesn’t matter anyway, but I do.”
Brandon was confused, and I couldn’t blame him. So was I. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter now anyway?”
Who knows what he was imagining I was about to say? He might’ve thought I was going to say I’d been seeing someone else or had done something really terrible. I needed to cut to the chase. “Christian came to me the day after that meeting I had with Hannah and the others about Daunator, when Aaron and Cadence were still gone.” His head rocked back and forth, and I was sure he knew exactly which meeting I was talking about. “He said he had a plan, and he wanted my help.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Why would he want your help? You’d just ripped his face off.”
A legitimate question. “I know. That’s what I said to him. But he knew I was the only one who could do what he needed to be done.” I thought for a second before I clarified. “Except for Heather, but she wouldn’t be as reliable, and there was a chance she wouldn’t want to do it anyway. For some reason, he also thought I’d be less likely to tell my sister or Aaron.”
“That makes no sense.” His face scrunched up.
I couldn’t quite explain to Brandon that it made sense to me, that Heather was probably more loyal to my own sister and brother-in-law at the moment than I was, so I didn’t go there. Instead, I said, “I know. But he knew how desperate I was to do something to stop Daunator, so when he told me his plan, I decided to go along with it.”
