Chapter 24

He got mad-for some reason- he stood up and left in a light speed. I have never been more disappointed in my life. But just to fill my anger I ate both the dishes that arrived for Shawn and me. He had paid before he left so I stood up and walked out with a full belly. I have no idea where to go. I can’t go to MC because Chris is in town and they are spending the night together. I can’t go home because mom and dad have a special evening planed. And I can just go to MCs’ house to hang because her parents have a romantic night planned as well. 
I thought since I was going to be with Shawn, I didn’t have to go home till midnight so I wouldn’t disturb mom and dad. But there I was, walking in my every day shoes-that somehow I knew I needed-with my stomach dragging me backwards all alone on Valentine’s Day. After an hour of walking, I arrived in front of my house at ten PM. I already told them I will be out till midnight so I had to wait out the remaining two hours sitting on the stair in front of my door.  I sat till midnight there and as soon as it was midnight I got up to go inside, but then I thought to myself ‘wouldn’t it be too obvious I was waiting outside if I walk in exactly on midnight?’ 
I decided to wait fifteen more minutes before I go inside. So I sat back down. But few minutes after I sat, my phone started to ring. I rushed through the bag to put my phone on mute so as to not disturb my parents. I looked at who was calling me and it Shawn. I was too upset to talk to him at the moment so I just looked at the phone until ‘sea blue eyes’ disappeared from ringing and went to my call log. As I am still looking at my phone Shawn called again. And I still didn’t answer and just let it go to voice mail. But he didn’t stop calling. After calling five times; he stopped. I got up and walked in. By the time I got in, I saw nothing. I thought my parent had plans, but there was nothing. 
My dad was at his usual spot watching the game and my mom was upstairs. I got confused. I looked around but couldn’t see anything. No candles, no flowers nothing. All I saw was my dad on the couch next to an open, four slice missing pizza box. 
I walked towards him to ask him what was going on but he was knocked out. From the back he looked like he was watching TV but he was asleep.  
I took the beer out of his hand and turned the TV off. I went to mom and dads’ bedroom to check if mom was fine. She was sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb her so I went to my room. 
I took a shower, brushed my teeth and went to bed, But, I just couldn’t sleep. I was rolling on my bed when Shawn called again. I let it go to voice mail. After few minutes I picked up the phone and listened to what he had to say. I was disappointed because there was no apology or regret of ditching me twice. But instead he just said ‘Call me when you get this.’ That was it. I did not call him. 
The next day I did my best to avoid Shawn as much as I can. Since it was Saturday, I worked half the day and went over to MC’s place.  
She was still busy with separating her parents that she barely had time for her own life. But today I found her at home having lunch with Chris. They asked me to join them and I had nowhere else to be so I joined. After lunch Chris went home and MC and I were the only ones left in her house, so we started chatting about this and that. 
As MC was telling me about a secret she heard in her office, my phone rang. It was ‘Sea blue eyes’ I did what I did last night and let it go to voice mail. MC saw me ignore my phone over and over so she took it up on herself to ask me what was going on. I told her everything. From the mysterious, call to the ditching. 
She got furious. As it is MC is an over reacting person. She asked me to confront him but I refused. But she reminded me that it might be a small issue now but in time it will just keep growing and you will hate each other for it. Even though her words were convincing I declined to go with my own advice. 
Sunday was my day off and I had to go to my therapist. We have changed to once a month, (Ya I have been doing that good). I have been feeling like the sessions have been talking about my work and how good I have been doing and how much dating life is so great. I no longer complain about anything. But today I have so much to complain about, so much to say and I am also in need of good counseling. I know that there are people that need these sessions more than I do but no matter how small my matters may seem to others; to me they are pretty big. 
I am really insecure and the fact that my boyfriend has been getting calls and ditching me in special occasions makes me really insecure. After saying all I wanted to say, DR. Goodman started her part of the session. 
With a smile on her face she said “I am really proud of you.” 
I looked at her with no words because honestly I did not expect her to say that to me. She continued “This is not an issue that needs a therapist. It is an issue that needs a girl friend. You don’t have any life crises, all you have are boy problems. It is a very normal part of life. And I am very excited that you are finally having these problems in your life.” 
I couldn’t believe it. She said that this is a problem I am suppose to have and is a problem that doesn’t need a session. Her answer to my problem made me think that maybe I have been coming to therapy when I didn’t need it. But since she told me that I need the advice of a girl friend and nit a therapist so I took MCs’ advice to confront Shawn about everything. So I called him after I left DR. Goodman’s office. I asked him to meet me outside but he said that he is at the office and that he can’t talk today. 
Can you believe him? He ditched me and then when I asked him to come, instead of apologizing he said he can’t talk and hanged up on me. Now I am mad. I was not going to let this slide because I know if I just go home I was not going to sleep. 
I rushed to his office. I looked at the door leading to the stairway and then I looked at the opposite direction to the elevator. I was too angry and in a hurry to take the stair so I took courage and took the elevator. As soon as I stepped in I started to chant to the elevator ‘Please don’t stop’ over and over again. I was so lucky that the elevator did not stop until I reached the floor I set out to. When the doors opened I started to march to his office ready to lay it on him. I barged in without knocking and saw in sitting at his paper covered desk. He didn’t even look up. But he wasn’t alone. Some of the representatives had their eyes on the papers in their hands as they all sit around. I can tell he was really working but I didn’t come all the way here for nothing, so I called out his name respectfully in a calm tone. 
“Mr. Davis” I called out but there were no answers. So I called again “Mr. Davis” Still there were no answers coming from him or anyone around him. In a less calm voice I called him again “Mr. Davis” when I got no answer I got frustrated. 
“Shawn” I yelled. This time everyone including him looked my way “Are you seriously ignoring me right now?” Everybody just looked at me like I am some sort of freak with no words. But that didn’t stop me from talking. “Since you are clearly too busy to talk I will do it for you. You don’t just get to ditch me twice and then act like nothing happened. Getting mysterious calls and then leaving without even blinking twice was really shity of you, I mean what is up with that? If you think that because you are my boss that I will hold back my anger towards you; you are wrong.” It felt good letting it out… 
The only problem was that I didn’t let it all out. I thought I did but I didn’t. Instead I realized that I was just standing there like a statue. One of the gentleman in a red suit asked “Ms. Jona, can I help you?” 
“No, I have the wrong room. Excuse me.” I walked out almost as running. I was so embarrassed by myself that I didn’t even look back, I just ran for the door to the stair way, jumped in to a taxi and disappeared from the scene. That night Shawn called but like I said I was too embarrassed so I let it go to voice mail. After a while I picked my phone to listen to the voice mail. He left a short message “I am outside.”