I Love No One

Akshay:
Netra left me as I have broken her so much by deciding her life. I thought I was doing everything for Netra and her happiness, but now I have realized I did nothing but breaking her more than anyone else. Now I am not bothered about me or my love. But what makes me tenser is how could Netra come out of this pain and how could I heal her when it's me who had broken her heart this time.
Akshay, how could you do this to Netra? Why didn't you understand her? Why did you force her to accept your stupid decisions? Don't you know that Netra is a human and she has the right to choose her life? Who are you to decide what's right for her? Is the reputation in society that important than her feelings and love?
I couldn't forgive me for sending her to Jeevith and asking her to accept the first night with him. That's the worst thing I could ever do. Netra is right. Her words say how painful it is to give herself to someone who has no place in her heart.
I had never cried for anything except when Netra was unconscious as the doctor told me that I would miss her forever. However, fortunately, I got my Netra back to me. Today my eyes shed the water drops one more time seeing my love broken because of my stupidity.
Though I love Netra so much, I never showed it off to her until now. I wanted her to be tough and independent, that's why I behaved as if I don't care much about her. When someone called her as my mistress, I stayed quiet before her thinking to make her answer such idiots. Of course, I taught a lesson to that idiot in my style afterward. When she was angry with me assuming that I didn't react, I had enjoyed her wrath. She left me for two days and stayed at a bus stop. I was with her for two days protecting every second, and she didn't know this until now. Until she returned to me, I had punished myself skipping food as she starved because of me. Most of the time, I stayed silent in her troubles though it's tough for me because I was confident that she could face it by herself. I wanted her to win her life by herself but not with my help. I remembered everything from the day I met her to the day she left me.
I know where she would go when she gets upset. But I chose to give her some space as she needs that now. I waited for a week though it was horrible for me to stay without her. After that, I went to meet her.
As it was Sunday, I found Netra sleeping until the late morning. I watched her from the window waiting for her to wake up. Netra woke up and opened the door. I brought a cup of hot cappuccino for her as I know she loves coffee prepared by me.
"Good morning, dear best friend. I missed you a lot," I said and gave coffee to her.
Netra looked silently at me and took the cup from my hands. She sipped it.
"This is the worst coffee I have ever drunk," Netra said and threw it in the soil. I smiled as I have already expected it from her.
"Thank you for telling me the truth than saying those cheesy dialogues such as it's so tasty and you prepare the best coffee, etc.," I said.
"I always speak the truth," Netra said.
"And you know I love that in you," I said, stressing the words I love for some reason.
"But I hate everything in you, including your so-called love for me," Netra said.
"By the way, may I know the reason behind the great Akshay's visit here?" Netra said.
"I have never said that Akshay is great," I said.
"But I love it when my love feels I am great," I said with a wink.
Netra looked at me and started walking away from there.
"Don't you want to know the reason behind my visit, Netra madam?" I asked, following her.
"Ministers usually have their purpose of visiting either it's good or bad. I never mind because this home is run by me with my money and not answerable to anyone," Netra said.
"I didn't visit here as a minister. I came here in search of my wife and her love for me," I said, looking into her eyes.
"Wife? Who is she? I didn't wear any signs of marriage. That's how much I value that namesake marriage," Netra said.
I observed her, and she is right. She didn't wear the vermilion on the forehead or nuptial chain around her neck. But I know that she doesn't consider it as a namesake marriage.
"Symbols are not necessary when your husband is in your heart," I said.
"Which husband? The one who married me in my childhood or the one whom I married for the revenge or the one who forced me to marry him?" Netra asked me.
I understood how complicated I had made her life.
"The one whom you married heartfully and whom you love a lot," I said.
"I love no one," Netra said.
"I wish I could change my name to no one," I said, posing a poor joke.
"I wish I could go far from....," I stopped her words by touching her lips with my forefinger.
"Scold me as much as you want for what I have done with you, but please never say that you will go away from me. Only I know how painful it is to lose you," I said, kissing Netra's hand.
I could notice tears in her eyes. I know she still loves me but can't forgive me. She is scared of trusting me. She is afraid of losing her freedom and being forced to live a life where all the decisions of her life taken by me without considering her feelings. But she doesn't know that I would never do it ever.
While we were talking, the girl victims who stay there in the home came to us.
"Bhaiya, you came here after a long time. We missed you a lot," they said.
I smiled at them.
"Yes, and now you have a surprise," I said to them and called the driver to bring children there. Abhi and Kalki came there.
"They are my children Abhi and Kalki," I said, introducing them to the people there. Netra tried to talk to the children, but as they were angry with her for not meeting them for a long time, they didn't speak to her. Instead, they hugged me tightly. I could realize jealous in her eyes, which would soon turn into anger at me.
We started playing and cooking food together. Netra excused herself as she got a call. We had lunch together. I sent Abhi and Kalki to Netra, convincing that it was my fault, and Netra loves them a lot. They went to Netra, and she hugged them. I know that Netra missed them a lot. They slept on her lap, listening to her words. I went there and sat beside her on the bed. Netra didn't say anything as Abhi and Kalki are there. I bent and said something to the children, and they got up from her lap. I slept on her lap. It's my dream for a long time. I closed my eyes.
"After losing my mom, I felt such peace only today sleeping on your lap," I said.
I opened my eyes and found Netra trying to caress my hair but stopped again.
"I love you, Netra," I said.
Netra didn't speak anything.
"Give me a chance, Netra. I would never decide things for you. You are free to choose everything in your life. I didn't request anyone until now. You know it. But now I am asking you for your love. Please give it to me one more time.
I am fed up living alone. I want someone to love me and be with me forever. I need you, Netra. Without you, there's no meaning for my life. This money or power can never give me happiness. If there were any moments in my life where I was happy, that's when I was with you and our children. I, too, want a family, Netra. Please be with me. Don't leave me in the darkness where loneliness is my companion forever," I said, holding her hands with tears in my eyes.