It Can't Be

*Hezzlie*

When I wake up, the sun is shining bright. I sit up suddenly and grab my phone. It’s almost lunchtime.

I drag a hand down my face and look around. Rowan isn’t here, but then, that’s not surprising. He’s got a lot to do.

I feel bad for sleeping so long, but after the battle last night, I needed it. Thinking of the battle makes my heart ache. Some people died, and we still don’t know how Solomon found out we were distracted.

I take a shower, get dressed, and wander downstairs, not really sure who or what I’m looking for. I find Smokey Sam in the kitchen, and she fixes me another amazing sandwich. While I’m eating, she tells me Rowan went out to visit the villages earlier to pay his respects to the families of the ones who died. She also lets me know that I missed my chance to say goodbye to Natalie as she left a few hours earlier.

My mom is still training with Veronica. I wish the witch would just leave already. She didn’t really help at all during the attack that I could tell. It probably would’ve been better if she wasn’t here at all.

I don’t think that she had anything to do with the attack, though. What could she gain by it?

After lunch, I go back out and traipse around the hallways a bit, my mind going over everything that’s happened. I’m in the library, looking at the family portraits on the wall, staring at Rowan’s mother in her wedding gown. She was beautiful, that’s for sure. I wonder how I’ll look in my dress.

I have a fucking wedding to plan. It seems so surreal, especially in light of everything else that’s going on.

Rowan’s father looks a lot like him in this particular portrait. They have similar smiles, anyway. The two of them look so happy. I wonder how many pleasant memories they made together before tragedy struck.

I’m stuck in my thoughts when I hear a bit of a commotion from down the hall and decide to go see what’s happening. I’m pleasantly surprised to see that Rowan and Dean have just walked in, and Wilma is just doting over them, asking them if they need anything. Rowan is in the process of telling her he’s fine when his eyes lock on mine, and I can’t help the giddy smile that takes over my face. I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on the most popular boy in class.

He walks toward me, and I meet him halfway. “Hi,” I say, still looking right in his eyes.

“Hello.” He opens his arms, and I wrap mine around him, burying my head in his chest.

Now, I understand why people say finding their other half is like going home. No matter what’s going on, as long as Rowan’s arms are wrapped around me, I feel safe. I feel like the rest of the world can’t penetrate here.

Everyone else clears out, and we’re just standing here locked in an embrace. It takes a few moments for him to whisper, “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” I reply, looking up at him. “How are you?”

He shrugs. “We went and visited the families of the fallen, including the wounded. It’s never easy.”

I can see how much he means that in his eyes. I nod. “Yeah, I can imagine.”

“Some of them asked about you.” He gives me a small smile.

I can’t help but be surprised. My eyebrows arch. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, they’re excited about their new queen.” His smile broadens, and I can’t help the giddiness bubbling up inside of me.

“Really?” I ask, smiling back at him.

“Yes. They’ve essentially been without a Luna Queen for several years since my mother was incapacitated, and while I’ve tried to do as much work as I can when it comes to the tasks the Luna Quen usually fulfills, I know I haven’t been successful with that. So they’re looking forward to that as well as just getting to know you.”

While I’m happy about the prospect of getting to know the people and serving them in whatever capacity they need, but it also makes me realize, yet again, that I have absolutely no idea how to be a Luna Queen.

Rowan must see that on my face. He brushes my hair back. “It’ll be fine, Hezzlie. In fact, it’ll be great. Don’t be nervous. I’ll be there with you every step of the way. Besides, I’m pretty sure this will all come naturally to you. It’s mostly looking out for the women and children in the pack, helping them get whatever they need, that sort of thing. I think that’s something you’ll do well without even trying.”

I consider his words and nod. I’m not sure why he thinks I’d be good at that. It’s not like he’s ever seen me in any of those roles before, but the truth of the matter is that I do like to help other people, especially those who really need it, like orphaned children or single mothers. Maybe I can do this after all.

“I have to go upstairs and look at the reports I’ve had some of my staff working on while I was away,” he tells me. 

“Can I come with you?” I  ask before I even know what I’m saying. Why would I want to go into his office and try to help him do the kingly duties he’s been doing for years without my help? Why would I think I could do so without getting in his way?

His eyebrows raise. “Do you want to?”

I shrug. I honestly just want to be with him. “Unless you think I’ll be in the way.”

“No, of course you won’t be. Great. Come on.” He tugs my hand, and we head toward the stairs, and I’m surprised that he is so excited to have me go with him. Maybe he just wants to spend time with me, too. I don’t think I’ll be that much help, but we’ll see.

Rowan’s office seems brighter than usual for some reason. I look around but don’t notice any additional lights. Maybe it’s his disposition lighting the darkness.

He leads me over to his desk and kisses my hand before he releases it. I sit down, and he goes around his desk and unlocks the top drawer, pulling out a file.

“You had the reports locked up?” I ask, surprised that he would take that step in his own office.

He nods. “Yes. The maids come in here to clean, and while I trust them all, someone had to tip off the enemy.”

That makes sense to me. “You’re sure it wasn’t the person who compiled that report?”

“I’m sure,” he says confidently.

I decide not to ask any more questions about that. He seems convinced that whoever he trusted to get that report and lock it in his drawer can be trusted, so who am I to question that?

Rowan starts to look through the paperwork. I’m expecting him to work silently, but he starts explaining to me, “These are the phone records from yesterday. Most of the calls are originating here, in my office.” He moves the top paper over for me to see, and I nod, noticing the matching numbers. “But there were a couple of phone calls from the mansion that were not made in my office.”

“Where were they made?” I ask.

Before he can answer. Wilma comes in. “Oh, pardon the intrusion,” she says. “I just wanted to bring you some coffee, Alpha. I didn’t know the princess was with you.”

“I’m fine, Wilma,” I tell her, smiling, as she brings in a tray with a pot of coffee and a mug on it. She sets it on the side of Rowan’s desk and begins to pour.

He’s still studying the reports, not talking, while Wilma is here. I notice her moving closer to him, looking over his shoulder a bit as she pours.

Then, suddenly, she gasps, and the pot slips from her hand, splashing the desk and getting a few of the papers wet.

I’ve never seen Wilma act that way before.

“Oh, dear!” she says, clearly flustered. “I’m so sorry, Alpha.”

I hop up to pluck some tissues out of the box on the corner of Rowan’s desk and start dabbing the spilled coffee.

“It’s nothing, Wilma. It’s fine,” he assures her with a smile.
She looks taken aback. Maybe she expected him to be angry. She sets the coffee pot down and does a little curtsy and rushes out of the room.

The entire situation seems odd to me, but I finish wiping up the coffee, and sit back down, tossing the tissues into the trash. “Weird.”

“Yeah, that was weird,” Rowan agrees. “I didn’t want to say anything while she was in here, but there were a couple of calls from phones in the kitchen area. I recognize those. I’ll check with Sam, but I’m guessing she probably ordered some supplies and food stuffs. That sort of thing. But this other number….” He trails off, shaking his head and running his hand over his chin. “One call from a number inside the house that I don’t recognize.” He reaches over by his phone and begins to flip through a small leatherbound brown book that isn’t very large but when I look at it, I can see that it’s a cheat sheet of sorts, a list of room numbers, drawings of the layout of the mansion–and phone numbers.

It takes him a moment, but eventually, he finds the number he’s looking for. He double checks it against the call sheet. “Okay. Well, now I know where the call originated from, but I’m not sure whoever was calling dialed a number in Darksky territory.”

“Where did it originate?” I ask.

“One of the parlors near the infirmary,” he says. “Hardly anyone ever goes in there, as far as I know. It would be a good place to go for some privacy.”

“Right.” I take a deep breath and think back through everything that happened yesterday. There was a lot going on. 

Suddenly, an image comes to my mind, and I can’t help the gasp that comes out of my mouth. I cover it with both hands and shout, “No!”

“What?” Rowan’s eyes bulge. “Hezzlie, what is it?”

“I saw it!” I tell him. “I was looking for Natalie–I saw it!”

“Saw the phone call?” he asks me.

I nod, but I can’t get my mouth to work yet. How could it be? Of all the people in the mansion–how could she be the spy?