Dream Kiss

*Hezzlie*

Mom spends the rest of the day talking to me about this, that, and the other. About an hour after dinner, Wilma asks her if she wants to come work on planning the party. I’m a little glad when she leaves, though I’d never admit it. I love my mom, but I’m used to being alone. So she goes down to help Wilma plan the party.
My eighteenth birthday party.
While they’re gone, I sit in a chair with one of the tamer looking books Mom grabbed from the library and will myself to read it, but I can’t.
I remember my last few months of high school when everyone was talking about going off to college in the fall. I was younger than everyone by a few months, but I was a senior, too, because Mom had enrolled me early. I’ve always been pretty book smart, I guess. I read early, picked up math early, and have always had a knack for figuring things out.
I wonder if any of that came from my father. While Mom is great at reading and writing and pretty smart, she’s not the best at math or anything that has to do with science.
My father… Charles Moonstryker. It’s so crazy to put a name with the idea of who he is.
My friends had all turned eighteen during the school year and had parties and the like, but we’d been planning a big shindig for me. We were all planning on going to different colleges. I’d gotten a scholarship to a nice state university. I was excited.
Then, the dreams started, and my life slowly began to fall apart culminating in that night when I’d torn my way through the window.
Letting out a deep breath, I snap the book closed and stare at the forest. Are there wolves out there? I thought I might’ve heard some howling last night, but it was hard to tell if it was just in my head or if there really are wolves around.
It makes sense, considering the landscape and the decor in the house.
I try to remember the details of the dream I had the night before, but they’re blurry. I assume it’s much like every other dream–me in a forest, turning into a wolf, happily running along until I start to get scared. Then, I try to turn back into a human and get stuck.
I’d woken up to Rowan hovering over me.
A shudder goes down my spine. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’ve had several lustful thoughts about him since I first laid eyes on him the day before.
“He could well be your brother, Hez,” I remind myself, shaking my head. God, I’m so disgusting.
“Half brother.”
That voice in my head that is there sometimes reminds me that we definitely do not share a mother, but what difference does it make? Any thoughts I’ve had of him need to go away.
Besides, the man is an asshole. He’s made that abundantly clear. Even when he was allegedly trying to help me last night, he was so unbelievably rude. I really hope that Dr. Bolton is the one that comes to wake me up when I inevitably have a bad dream tonight.
Mom comes back after a few hours. I’m so tired, I want to go to bed. She sits down and pats my hand. “You’re going to love everything we have planned.”
“I’m sure I will.” I stifle a yawn. As much as I’d like to keep her here for a while so I can delay going to sleep, I can’t. “I think it’s time to call it a night.”
She nods, looking a little disappointed. “I’ll be leaving in a few days.”
“I know.” I’m sad to think about that, too. “But everyone says I’ll be better soon. That means I’ll get to go home.”
Her face lights up at the idea of that. “I sure hope so. I’m so ready to have you home. Maybe you can start college in the spring?”
I nod. I’d given up on being able to go. My scholarship had been for the fall, and I doubted they’d let me start the spring semester and still use it, but now, we have money. Thanks to Dr. Bolton. Maybe whatever the hell this is that’s wrong with me isn’t so bad anyway.
Mom kisses me on the cheek, and I start getting ready for bed, absently thinking I should put on something nice in case one of the handsome men comes in again, but I tell myself I’m not talking about Rowan.
Instead, I try to force my brain into thinking about what might be wrong with me. When I was in Peripheral, I was in survival mode, just trying to get through each day without a shot of bootie juice. It was a terrible way to live.
Here, I can think more about what’s going on. I wish I had a phone or access to a computer so I could do some searching.
I’d done some before, when I was still living at home. It’s not completely unheard of for people to have dreams like mine, though it’s not common. Back in the day, people used to get killed for such things. Other villagers thought they were werewolves or witches. A shudder goes down my spine just thinking about it.
I’m dressed in a pair of pajamas similar to the ones from the night before. A tank-top and a pair of boy shorts in a light pink. I brush my hair out and decide to leave it loose instead of putting it in a ponytail which sometimes hurts my head. With my teeth brushed and my face washed, I climb into bed. It is so comfortable, and despite my apprehension, I start to drift off.
Soon enough, I’m back in the forest, a wide grin on my face as I spin around under the moonlight. It’s like I’m meant to be here. I walk amongst the trees for a few moments, my bare feet sliding over the velvety green grass. Then, I decide to go for a run. I slip out of my dress, letting the warm light of the moon bath my bare skin, and take off running. I leap into the air, and my magnificent black wolf reveals herself. Giddy with excitement, I run through the trees.
But then, I get that eerie feeling that something is wrong, like I’m being watched, or hunted. The forest turns dark and dismal, and I know I have to get back to safety.
The only way to do that is to wake up.
My body contorts as I attempt to get back to my human form. It seems like the only way I can snap out of this dream is to be a human, but the shift goes badly, as it always does, and I am a deformed half-wolf, half-human girl.
Screaming for help, I try to turn and rush back the way I came, but it seems like the danger is growing closer. In my mind, I hear that distant voice that often sounds like it’s coming from another entity telling me she wants to run; she needs to run. She wants to stay a wolf so we can get away. I want to get back to safety.
I need help, but who can help me?
“Rowan!” I cry, his face flashing through my mind. “Help me, please! Rowan!”
I can’t see him anywhere. It’s dark now, a huge cloud covering the moon, but I hear his voice.
“It’s okay, Hezzlie. I’m right here.”
I thrash around in the darkness, my deformities limiting my mobility. “Rowan, please. I need you! I need you so bad!”
“Hezzlie! Open your eyes. You’re safe. Wake up!”
That’s when I remember this is all a dream. I do need to open my eyes. I need to reach Rowan, and he’s not in my dream.
He’s on my bed.
I lurch forward, trying to propel myself out of the dream, and my eyes fly open for just a split second. HIs scent, fresh like the forest, washes over me, and then I realize my lips are pressed to his, his hands on my waist.
This feels right–this feels meant to be….
Until I realize it can’t be.
Yelping, I throw myself backward, almost slamming my head into the headboard. “What the fuck?”
He shoots to his feet. “You did it!”
I run a hand through my hair, dragging it down my chin. I can’t get the feel of him, the taste of him, off my lips.
His eyes are wide as he stares at me. I have no idea what to say to him. How can I argue with that? I was asleep. I don’t know if I kissed him or not, but, isn’t that a defense in itself?
“I was asleep!” I shout it at him. “And you’re–”
“I’m what?” He folds his arms over his massive chest, his muscles rippling in the moonlight streaming in through the window.
He’s what? Gorgeous? Sexy? Every girl’s wet dream?
My brother!
I don’t say anything. He glares at me a moment longer before swiveling on a bare foot. “Go back to sleep, Hezzlie. Dreams are over for tonight.” He slams the door, and I jump.
What the hell have I done?