He's Not the One

*Hezzlie*

“Hezzlie! Are you okay?” Natalie pounds me on the back as I struggle to get the bite of cookie logged in my throat to budge.
I nod and reach for my drink, trying to wash it down, I finally get it to go. “I’m okay,” I say before taking another really long drink. “I’m fine.”
“You scared me,” Abby says, her eyes wide. “I thought I might need to call for the healer.”
“You’d like that, I suppose,” I mutter, setting the glass down and clearing my throat. I’m okay, I think.
“What?” Abby seems genuinely confused.
“James is the pack healer,” Natalie explains to her.
“Oh, right.” Abby’s cheeks turn a shade of pink that goes nicely with her hair. “Well, maybe we should have him come and check you out.”
I shake my head. “That won’t be necessary. Abby, are you sure it’s James you’re attracted to?” I ask her, wondering just how much I can say.
She shrugs, still looking pinker than normal. “Yeah. Why? He’s not already married or found his mate, has he?”
“I don’t think so,” I tell her. I look at Natalie who only shrugs. Clearly, the maid doesn’t know anything about Dean’s discovery of earlier. Why would she? It’s not like Dean is friends with her or would have any reason to announce it to the staff.
“Then what’s the big deal?” Abby’s tone is a cross between wounded and offended. “Do you not like James?” She leans closer to me. “You don’t think he’s ugly do you?”
“Honestly?” I see a different direction I can steer this conversation down, even though I’m not sure it’s going to make any difference in the long run. “I’ve never really thought about Dr. Bolton that way. I met him when I was in the asylum, in the human world, so to me, he’s the guy who got me out of Peripheral but brought me here. He lied to me. I guess he had to, judging by what I know now, but I certainly never thought about him in any sort of a romantic way.” All of that is true. For some reason, I always assumed James was way too old for me, even though I guess he’s probably not too old. Rowan is a few years older than me, but that doesn’t seem to make a difference. It’s just weird to think about James like that.
“So you can’t tell me if you think he’s attractive because he’s your doctor?” Abby’s forehead is puckered. It doesn’t really make much sense when she puts it like that.
Now, it’s my turn to shrug. “I suppose he’s handsome enough. He’s not really my type. He’s very quiet and analytical.”
“And kind,” Abby adds. “You obviously like your men a lot ruder.”
She sounds like she’s trying to take a jab at me, but I only laugh. Natalie does, too. “Rowan has his moments,” I reply. “He could’ve tossed you, Aiden, and Tony out on your ears, but he didn’t.”
“We helped you get here.” She folds her arms. “It would’ve been terribly ungrateful of him to do such a thing.”
“I don’t disagree,” I tell her. “But I wouldn’t have been shocked, nevertheless.”
“Would you have let him do that?” Her eyes are wide now, and I realize I’m seeing a side of her I never have before. “Just toss us aside after we helped you?”
“No, Abby, of course not,” I tell her, trying to infuse calmness into my tone to get her to relax a little. “But if I was unconscious when he did it, I wouldn’t have been much help until after you guys were already back in Darksky territory, which would’ve been very dangerous for all of you. I’m just saying, most of what Rowan does that you’re describing as rude he’s done because he is trying to preserve his kingdom. That’s something I know I can’t quite understand, and I doubt you can, too. That doesn’t mean that I dislike James because he’s kind. On the contrary, that’s one of the reasons I do like him. I’m just saying, I’ve never thought about him that way. Do you think he’s your mate?”
It all comes out in a rush because I’m afraid she’ll interrupt me, and I won’t be able to say it if I don’t rush.
“I have no idea.” Her arms are still folded. “I probably won’t know until the full moon.”
“That’s just a couple of days,” Natalie chimes in for the first time. She probably has no idea what to think about any of this and didn’t want to interject. I can tell she still feels out of place having this conversation with us. Abby isn’t exactly royalty, but she’s not a servant, and Natalie hadn’t even wanted to sit with us to begin with because she felt like she was beneath us.
“Well, I think he’s very kind and attractive,” Abby says. “He made me feel welcome here when no one else did.” She looks at me for a second before she adds, “You were unconscious, of course.”
“I’m not offended, Abby,” I tell her. I reach over and put a hand on her shoulder. She flinches at first but then relaxes. “I’m here to support you, no matter what. I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just surprised that you said James and not someone else.”
She arches an eyebrow, and I wonder if I’ve said too much. “Who else?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I figured it was someone I didn’t know, one of the warriors you met when you were being transported here, and I was unconscious.” I’m doing my best to keep Dean’s secret because it’s not my story to tell.
Abby takes a deep breath. “Okay.” A smile forms on her face, but it seems a little forced. “I guess I’m just nervous. I thought I would’ve found my mate by now, and I haven’t. It makes me worried.”
“Worried?” Now, I’m confused. “Why?”
“Because… because I spent so much time in Darksky Castle,” she admits, her tone almost flat. “I just worry that Mara’s not the only person Alistair messed with.”
Now, I’m worried, too. “Did he ever call you to his office?”
She shakes her head. “No, but that doesn’t mean that old asshole didn’t find a way to screw with me. I know he was trying to keep Aiden from realizing that Mara was his mate, but their love was strong enough to overcome it. They spent everyday together, though, and I might not have even met my mate yet. So I might not recognize him.”
“Why would that guy want to do that to you?” Natalie asks, concern lacing every voice. “How would that benefit anyone?”
I see tears sparkling in Abby’s eyes. “I don’t know, but it might keep my father there longer. Darksky doesn’t have a lot of allies. If I met a noble from another kingdom and found out he was my mate, my father might tell our Alpha King to move his alliance to a different kingdom. It’s stupid, really. Alpha King Hudson could be allied with any number of kingdoms and it shouldn’t make a difference to Alpha King Solomon, but they are a foolish lot, that group.”
“I can definitely agree with you on that,” I mumble. “Look, Abby, if you like James, there’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s just see how you feel on the full moon, okay? Maybe the Moon Goddess will speak to you and tell you who your mate is, if he’s even here. And if he’s not, then you could get to know James. I don’t know how it works exactly. Can you date before you find your mate?” I look from Abby to Natalie and back again.
It’s Natalie who answers me, her voice quiet. “A lot of people never meet their intended mate because they’re in another kingdom or they just don’t have the opportunity to meet them.” I can tell she’s talking about how she’s so sheltered, never leaving the castle much, but most of that is because it’s too dangerous. She must feel like she’s never going to meet her mate.
“Well, hopefully, that won’t be the case for either of you, and you’ll meet your mates, and all of the included parties will know it and acknowledge it.” I take a deep breath sounding far more prophetic than I should considering I have no idea what I’m even really talking about.
“If my mate is here, and it’s not James, I’ll probably just reject him.” Abby’s arms are folded again, and her nose is in the air.
I take a deep breath and bite my tongue. Abby’s being overly dramatic, but it just might cost Dean everything.