You Killed Her

*Rowan*

Hezzlie’s words ring through my ears as I walk out into the hallway. I lean against the door for a few moments and take my own advice to her earlier–drawing in deep breaths.
“She loves me?” I whisper, but I’m shaking my head immediately. She didn’t mean that. Of course, she didn’t. How could she? Not only have I been nothing but a monster to her since the moment she arrived in my house, I’m not good enough for her anyway.
Sure, on paper, I’m an Alpha King. I seem like a great catch. I’m rich and good-looking. But Hezzlie has a heart of gold. She’d do whatever she could to help anyone in trouble, even a stranger, and I’ve treated her like a tyrant would treat his lowliest subjects.
No, she didn’t mean that. It was just the medicine talking. I have to ignore the fact that James gave her Tylenol–not anything that would mess with her mind–for this theory to work, but it seems impossible that Hezzlie could even think that she loves me when she just got back to my kingdom a few hours ago.
I decide now isn’t the time to think about that. I need to talk to my sister. I have no idea if she’s still bound to her bed or if Aiden has untied her. I never told him not to, though it would be disrespectful for him to free a prisoner in my kingdom, and I think we have a fairly decent understanding of what our relationship will be like moving forward.
On my way to Mara’s room, images from what happened down beneath the ground flood my mind. When Hezzlie wrangled the powers from the moonstones and used them to open the doors, I was floored–literally. Both of us hit the ground, but I was able to get up quickly and get Hezzlie out of that room. I hope her headache isn’t from hitting the ground too hard when I could’ve potentially protected her, but there wasn’t much I could do at the time.
If she’s able to pull magic from the moonstones and use that to mingle with her own abilities, she might be able to knock our enemies off the map without any of my warriors even putting themselves in harm’s way, and while part of me is eager to fight Zeb again and to even square off against King Solomon himself.
But if it means that no one else has to die, then it’ll be worth it. I think of the families of the warriors who have already perished in this newest aggression, as well as those that died when Darksky attacked us years ago.
I arrive at my sister’s room. The door is closed, and I can hear quiet talking. I knock on the door and wait until Aiden opens it for me.
He looks a bit apprehensive to see that it’s me. I give him a smile. “Is she awake?”
“Yes.” He nods and steps aside. “She just woke up. Please, come in, Your Majesty.”
“No need for that,” I remind him. I step inside of Mara’s room and see her sitting up in bed, one hand still strapped to the bed frame, the other free.
She looks completely out of it still. Her eyes are hazy, and her skin is pale, almost translucent.
But she smiles when I walk in, like she’s seeing me for the first time in years. I smile back at her and stop next to her bed.
“I’ll give you a few moments,” Aiden says, and then he exits the room, closing the door behind him.
“Hi, Mara.” I sit down next to her on the bed and think about how happy I’d been to see her when we’d first gotten her back from Solomon. This feels quite similar to that meeting, though this time, I think she’s with me.
“Rowan,” she says, reaching for me with her free hand. She drags her cold palm down my cheek and then takes my hand in hers. “What’s going on? Aiden wouldn’t tell me anything.” She yanks on her hand that’s still fastened to the bed. “He said he couldn’t completely free me. Did… did something happen? How long have I been here? I’ve had all these strange dreams. Where’s Mother?”
I take a deep breath and try to sort out where to begin. I don’t think that my sister is dangerous any more, but I’m afraid to release her just yet. I trusted her once before, and that had been a mistake. “What’s the last thing you remember?” I ask her.
Mara gets a distant look in her eyes, and I can tell her brain is still foggy. She slowly shakes her head. “I remember being at the castle, and King Solomon walked in to speak to me. He said I’d be going home soon, and I was ecstatic, but also upset.” She lifts her eyes to mine. “I didn’t want to leave Aiden.”
I nod in understanding. “Then what?”
“Well, then Alistair, that’s the king’s wizard.” She looks at me for confirmation, and I nod again. “He walked in and said something about it was time for the plan to begin, and after that… I don’t remember much. I have some ideas about what happened, but I can’t tell what is real and what was just a product of my imagination, of my dreams.” She looks down at her lap for a moment and then raises her gaze again. “Did something happen to Mother?”
Sorrow wracks me again as I solemnly nod. I want to make something up, to lie to her, to tell her that Mother died from something else.
But I have to tell her the truth. There’s no way that Mara can walk around the mansion freely without someone mentioning to her what truly happened.
I take a deep breath. “She’s gone, Mara. She died.”
Tears spring to Mara’s eyes, and she tries to hide her face, but her one arm being locked up makes it difficult. I reach into the drawer of the nightstand, pull out the key and free her hands. While she sobs, I also unlock her feet before putting the key down and wrapping my arms around her.
It takes several minutes before she can squeak out, “Wh-what hap-happened?”
Now, it’s time to tell her the ugly truth. “You know that monster, Alistair you just mentioned?” I feel her nodding against my shoulder. “He weaponized you, Mara. He brainwashed you and made you do things you would never, ever do of your own accord.”
She starts trembling in my arms, and the tears come even harder, and something tells me she already knew this, or at least suspected it, like one of the dreams she was alluding to was actually reality–like she’s getting flashes of images of stabbing our mother and slashing her throat but couldn’t believe it was real–until now.
Until I told her.
“Take a deep breath, Mara,” I whisper. “It’s not your fault.”
She’s hyperventilating, and I can feel her heart racing as I try to console her, but I know how she feels, and I know that it’s not as simple as trying to will her body to calm down so that she can think clearly, but she can’t stop the guttural reaction of knowing she killed our mother, even if it wasn’t a choice she made.
“How?” she finally blurts. “Did I… stab her?”
“It was quick,” I assure her. “You did. I came into the room right after it happened. You were not yourself, Mara. It was evident that Alistair had made you do it.”
She’s still crying as she shakes her head. “Did she suffer? Was she in pain?”
“No,” I tell her, even though I’m not sure it’s true. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on our mother’s face as she struggled to breathe, her nightgown covered in blood. “It was quick.” I take a deep breath. “Mara, she wasn’t the same after you were taken. She never recovered from Father’s death and your kidnapping. She was practically comatose the last few years, just staring out at the castle. James did everything he could to help her, as did I, but nothing made a difference. I hoped that you coming back would snap her out of it, but it didn’t. I think… I think in a lot of ways she died when Father did.” It’s the first time I’ve spoken those words out loud, but I do believe it.
She looks up at me with tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry, Rowan.”
“I know you didn’t do it because you wanted to, Mara. It’s okay.” I brush a hand over her tear streaked cheek. “We’re going to get him back, though. Aiden is going to help him. We’re going to kill Solomon.”
She nods. “Good. I want to kill him, too, and that bastard Alistair.” Her expression changes slightly. “He is very powerful, though.”
I can’t help the smile that slips into place. “Not as powerful as Hezzlie,” I tell her. While I’m not sure that’s true, I can only imagine how strong Hezzlie will be with the help of the moonstones.
Mara’s forehead puckers. “Who?”
I realize then how much she’s missed. “Aiden’s half-sister,” I begin. “That’s how I got you back, at least, that’s what I thought was happening. I traded Hezzlie for you. Of course, I know now, I’d played right into that fucker’s hands. “She’s a witch. And… she’s my mate.”
For the first time since she awoke from her stupor, my sister is smiling at me. “You found your mate?”
“Yes. Just like you did.” We both laugh as her expression becomes a bit sheepish. “I told Aiden already he will be the brother I never had. We will kill Solomon and put Aiden on the throne. The two of you will rule together, and finally, we will have peace.”
Mara nods, taking a deep breath, her tears drying up. “Finally.”