Mistakes Were Made

*Hezzlie*

I’m exhausted.
I hate for Rowan to see me like this, all sweaty with my hair sticking to my face, but then he has seen me like this before–and worse–but it seems different when I’m all messed up from having sex and not from exerting myself trying to open a goddamn door.
I got it though. Fucker. I had to fight it for a lot longer than I thought I was going to have to, but it’s open now.
“Okay.” Rowan stands, still in disbelief, and walks over to the open door. He can’t see anything inside of there. I know because I looked when it opened, right before my magic went out. Just like early this morning, when I had to use my powers to get myself and my friends to safety, I’ve used it all up for now. I’m going to have to rest a bit before I can do anything else.
“I don’t think you should go in there yet,” I tell Rowan as he peeks his head inside. “I think you should wait until my battery is recharged.”
“You should wait here,” he says, not even turning to look back at me.
I scoff. “What happens when you go in there and get trapped? How do you know there’s not more magic waiting for you on the other side of that door?”
This time, he pulls his head out and turns to look at me, his lips pressed together in that skeptical expression I’ve learned to recognize so well in the short amount of time I’ve known him. “It doesn’t smell like magic in here.”
“Does it smell like mildew?” I ask, wanting to stand up and walk over to him, but I’m still feeling a little woozy. “Because that’s the only shit I smelled down here before I sizzled that door open.”
He is irritated, and I know him well enough to know that it’s not at me. He wants to forge ahead, and he doesn’t want to wait for me to get my strength back, but I am leery of him going down there without me.
Maybe I can distract him.
“Rowan?” I call in my most alluring voice.
An eyebrow arches as he looks at me. “What?”
“Rowan?” I purr again. I lift a hand and hook a finger, beckoning him over to me.
My mate turns and looks at the door again, looks at me, looks at the door, and then back again. “What?”
“Come here!” I demand, still giving him an alluring look while motioning for him to come hither.
Rowan closes his eyes and grunts, and I have to stifle a laugh.
“Why?” he asks, but he’s walking over to me with a defeated look on his face like he knows every step he takes gets him further away from his goals and further into my clutches.
It’s kind of interesting, knowing I have this sort of power. It might even be more intriguing than knowing that I am a witch.
Rowan sits down next to me, and I immediately lean toward him, pressing my lips to his. He hesitates, but then he’s kissing me back. It takes all the energy I have just to get things starting, so I surrender to him, and he doesn’t disappoint. He deepens the kiss, pulling me toward him, and I let out a little moan, allowing him to steer the entire make-out session because I want to distract him. I do want to kiss him, too, but I’m more concerned with restoring my powers right now.
We continue to kiss for several moments, with his hands roaming all over my body, before he abruptly pulls back. “You’re evil.”
I can’t help but giggle. It’s so ironic that he can say something like that about me when I’ve truly thought he was the devil for much of the time that I’ve known him. “You have to wait for me. We may as well have a little fun while we wait.”
He slowly shakes his head. “I don’t have to wait for you.”
“You do have to wait for me,” I disagree. “I don’t want you going in there without me, and I’m your mate. I get a say now. You can’t just go barreling off on your own without thinking about how it affects other people.”
His eyebrows nearly touch as he considers my words. “I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’m not used to considering other people’s feelings.”
“I noticed,” I say. He frowns, and I laugh. “Seriously, though, Rowan. You have to admit that everything is different between us now, even though we haven’t really talked about it. You were an ass when I first go there–”
“I wasn‘t an ass.” He tips his head to the side and squints one eye at me.
I double down. “You were an ass. An absolute ass. I didn’t know if I should hate you or be terrified of you. Obviously, that’s not the case now. I get it. I know that you were trying to keep some space between us because you thought you had to give me to my father to get your sister back, but if we would’ve talked about it, maybe I could’ve helped you reason through other options.”
His mouth moves, but he doesn’t say anything for a moment. I know it’s hard for him to accept that he was wrong or that there was another way he hadn’t considered. He finally says, “I’m not very good at considering other people’s opinions.”
“I’ve noticed.”
Again, he looks murderous, though I understand that he’s not actually angry at me. I reach up and brush a lock of hair out of his eyes.
“You don’t have to do this alone anymore,” I remind him in a whisper. “Not that I have any fucking idea how to take care of a kingdom or anything like that, and it’s not like I’m trying to be… queen… or something.” I expect him to laugh in my face at the idea of me becoming the queen, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he looks me in the eyes and says, “You’re my mate, Hezzlie. The Moon Goddess chose you for me. She wouldn’t have done that if you weren’t the right person to be the queen of my kingdom.”
I suck in a deep breath and consider what he’s saying–what he’s not saying. I’ll be his queen one day? His wife? How can that be?
“I am sorry, Hezzlie. I know you probably don’t believe that. I’m sorry for the way I treated you, and I’m sorry I haven’t even talked to you about it. I should have. You’re right–I was afraid to get to know you too well because I didn’t think I had an alternative to trading you for Mara. Finding you so that I can hand you over to your father in exchange for my sister had been my plan all along. Realizing that you were my mate put a huge wrench in that entire operation. I had to try my best to go on like that wasn’t the case. Of course, it didn’t help when you marked me.”
I snicker. “Sorry. I had no idea what I was doing.”
“I know.” He rubs his neck, and I realize he was probably in pain the whole time I was gone. I think my brother was when he was away from Mara. It’s not really funny at all, but it could’ve all been prevented if someone would’ve just told me the truth–about everything. That I’m a wolf shifter, that I would go into heat, what a mate was, what marking means, that I could be a witch. Damn if these fuckers haven’t lied to me a thousand times. “Anyway, I hope we can start over,” he concludes.
“I don’t want to start over,” I argue, and his eyes widen, as if he thinks I’m saying I want to keep arguing with him. “What’s happened between us is important. I know you better now because I understand you have more than one side. You’re not always nice. Sometimes you have to do hard things that you don't want to do because you think that’s what’s best for everyone. You have an entire kingdom to look out for. I get it. And you were pretty young when your father died. I bet you didn’t get a lot of training from him.”
A shadow passes across his face. “No, not as much as I needed.”
“And your mom kind of left the same day, right?” I ask, not sure if I’m bringing up topics he won’t want to discuss right now.
“She was essentially comatose,” he admits. “I thought bringing Mara back would unlock the spell, but it didn’t. She said that Mara wasn’t her daughter. I guess she was right, in a way. I hope, when she wakes up, seeing Aiden will bring her around to who she was before.”
I nod. “I think it will. My brother loves her very much.”
“I’m glad.” I can tell he means it.
I suddenly realize I’m feeling a lot better. I’ve had time to sit and rest, and I’m drawing strength from my mate’s strength. “Are you ready to go?”
His eyebrows raise in surprise again. “Are you?”
“I think so.” I move around a little bit and nod. “I’m feeling a lot better.”
Rowan nods and stands, offering me both hands. I take them both, and as I get to my feet, I feel steady and strong, just like him.
He keeps one of my hands in his as we approach the door. I squeeze it tight, a bit leery of what we’ll discover back there. Whatever it is, I know it’ll be okay.
We walk into the darkness, stronger together.