It's Complicated
*Rowan*
I go inside with James when he takes Hayden in to put a cast on his broken leg. Unlike humans, wolf shifters heal pretty quickly, so Hayden should be fine in a few days, rather than weeks or months. The only issue is, when bones aren’t set right away, they sometimes have to be rebroken to get them in the right place because we heal so quickly.
I say nothing as I stand in the back of the room and listen to James reassure Hayden that he’s going to be just fine. He asks him to stay in the infirmary for a few hours so that the staff can keep an eye on him, and then he’ll be free to go home. Like most of the warriors who work to defend the mansion and our pack, he lives in the village nearby. He’s just a kid, really. He lives with his parents still.
James gives me a strange look as he steps into his office. I follow him, closing the door behind me. He sits at his desk, filling out the report on what happened to Hayden. I don’t want to interrupt, but I can’t help but take a seat across from him wearing the amused expression that fell into place across my face the moment James and Corey looked at one another.
After about ten minutes of me saying nothing, and James scribbling on his paper, he lets out a loud sigh. “I know you want to say something. Why don’t you just say it?” He’s not even looking at me.
I clear my throat. “Is there something you’d like to say?”
“Not even a little bit,” he says with a shrug, his eyes glued to the form.
While I shouldn’t be surprised that he doesn’t want to talk about what is usually thought of as one of the pivotal moments in a wolf shifter’s life, under the circumstances, I am a little. We’ve been good friends since we were young–with the exception of me bossing him around when I became Alpha, like I did/do everyone who lives here.
“James… there’s nothing to be ashamed or afraid of,” I assure him the best I can. “No one cares.”
He finally looks up at me, his eyebrows arched. “Uhm, that’s easy for you to say.”
“It is easy for me to say. Would you like for me to say it again?”
He narrows his gaze to the point where I might actually think he’s glaring at me if I didn’t know him better. I am his king, after all. “You are mated to a beautiful, powerful princess, Alpha. There’s no reason in the world for anyone to think there’s anything wrong with that. I, on the other hand, am mated to another man, one I barely know who left our pack ages ago. As far as I know, we have nothing to offer one another.”
Now, it’s my turn to stare in irritation. “While I can understand why you might feel that way,” I begin, “I think there must be some reason the Moon Goddess put the two of you together. As much as I wanted to tell Her that She was wrong to choose Hezzlie for me, it turns out She was right. Corey is a very competent warrior, from what I remember. He’s probably gotten stronger over the years. I’m sure he’ll be an asset and possibly even become a commander one day.”
“But what about children?” he blurts out. “I mean, I’ve always known I wasn’t particularly interested in women, but I’d like to have a family. I’d like to contribute to the perseverance of our pack.”
“James.” I shake my head. “There’s no one else who contributes to the perseverance of this pack more than you do. You save lives. You birth babies. You are the reason this pack continues. Don’t think that just because you might not be able to have a child with your mate one day that doesn’t mean you can’t contribute. Besides, there’s a war coming. I’d hate to say it, but there’s a possibility some children might be orphaned. It’s been known to happen before. Maybe the Moon Goddess already knows this and is preparing you to be able to take care of children who lose their parents.”
I see him thinking over what I have to say before he looks away, running a hand through his hair and shrugging. “I don’t know. It’s a lot.”
“I’m sure it is.” I take a deep breath. “I want to go back to something else you said, though. Hezzlie might be a princess, but she’s the daughter of my nemesis, no matter how badly she wishes she wasn’t. So there are plenty of people who could say we shouldn’t be together.”
“Other than you at the beginning?” he asks with a sarcastic grin.
“Yes. Other noble and royals probably have their opinion. I’m quite certain her father wouldn’t have picked me. I’m just saying… I’ve been in a complicated position with my mate recently, too. If we made it through, so should you.”
He continues to stare at me for several seconds before he looks away. As quickly as I recognized the look on his face when he first saw Corey tonight, I secure an understanding of the expression he wears now. He knows I’m right. He just needs to think about it. “All right. But… what do I do now?” he asks.
“Talk to him.” I hold out both hands in exasperation. “Do what anyone does when they find their mate.”
James drags a hand down his face. “Goddess. Why did this have to happen right now?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “There’s a lot of shit going on. But I’m sure She has Her reasons.” My work here is done, so I stand and place a hand on his shoulder. “No one here is going to judge you. We accept all kinds of love in this pack.”
“I know.” He gives me a half smile. “But I do think there’s at least one person who’s not going to be very happy about this.’
My forehead crinkles as I try to determine who he’s talking about. It dawns on me at the same time he says it, so we say her name in unison. “Natalie.”