Chapter 23

**Artemis**


Seeing Blue run the way she did and hearing her get sick sent me into a panic. For a second I thought there was something with the food but we ate the same thing and I’m fine. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never taken care of someone before. Do I call a doctor? Does she need medicine? What brought this on?

I have so many questions that Blue is in no position to answer right now.

Feeling ridiculous but needing help I quickly text Max.

*Me: Blue just got sick and ran to the bathroom. What do I do?

Max: go after her and make sure she’s okay!!

Right.

Max: make sure to check out her head and eyes. If she looks out of it and is pale then she needs to be checked out.*

Okay. Feel her temperature and make sure she isn’t pale. With this information, I head for the bathroom and call out for her. She doesn’t say anything but I see her leaning heavily on the toilet. That can’t be good. I move over and crouch beside her to check her. When I brush a finger along her cheek she flinches back from me with a whimper. Immediately I’m worried I did something wrong but I can’t back down. She clearly needs help.

Feeling boldened by my concern I carefully grab her elbow and tug her into a sitting position. She sits sluggishly and when her head drops back slightly I can finally see her face. She doesn’t look too pale but her eyes look distant and she’s breathing hard. Whatever is happening doesn’t seem to be connected to what we ate. Something else is going on but I don’t know what it could be. It might be another panic attack but the one from earlier didn’t seem the same as this one.

Her forehead creases and her eyes become glossy with tears. They fall slowly one by one and soft whimpers follow. I try to tip her head so that we are eye to eye but even when I do she doesn’t seem to see me.

“Blue can you hear me?” I cup her face and try to make her focus on me.

Come on…

“Come on Blue. See me.” I all but beg her.

I don’t like this.

“A-Artemis?” She says and I blow out a breath of relief.

“That’s right Blue. Come back to me.”

She sighs and her body slumps toward me. I quickly wrap an arm around her waist and try to pull her to her feet. Her body is too weak and she stumbles forcing me to wrap my other arm around her. There’s no way she can walk right now, but I’m not leaving her in here. She weighs next to nothing so I lean down and scoop her up in my arms. In this position, she seems so small especially when her head drops against my shoulder. When I had been holding her this morning I hadn’t noticed how slim she was. Like this, I can feel the bones of her shoulders pressing into my chest.

Her chest is heaving and I can see the bones of her sternum under her skin. She’s been without consistent food for so long that her body looks frail. How didn’t I notice it? I should have known by the way the clothes she’s worn so far lay on her so loosely.

This is only more evidence of all that she’s had to endure over the years. She has been struggling all this time and no one has ever once tried to help her. Well, I found her and I’m not letting this go on. I’m going to make sure she'll be healthy again if she ever was.

I carry her over to the bed and carefully set her down. She sways slightly so I keep hold of her until I’m sure she won’t fall over. Once it looks like she’s strong enough to hold herself up I quickly pour her a glass of water from the food cart. When I come back she won’t look at me, so I crouch down in front of her and hold the glass out to her. Her hands are shaky when she reaches for it but she holds on tight to it before lifting it to her lips. I stay crouched in front of her and wait. She takes a few more sips of water and when she releases another deep breath it sounds steadier.

“Thank you.” She says.

Her voice sounds soft but strong.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” She says quickly after and tries to add a laugh but it’s weak.

She can’t play off whatever this was, and I don’t want her to. I don’t want her to feel like she has to pretend to be okay around me if she isn’t.

“Are you alright?” I asked reaching for the cup and carefully taking it from her.

She let’s me and I set it down on the table beside the bed.

“I think so.”

There are so many things I want to ask her, but she’s been through enough today.

“Maybe you should sleep,” I suggest and she nods.

I watch her scoot back further on the bed and lay down before turning to face away from me. She’s probably embarrassed or wants to be left alone. It’s been a long day and it’s clear she doesn’t want to talk about what happened so I decide to leave it for now and get ready for bed. We had been in such a rush this morning that I hadn’t had a chance to shower. I could use it right now to clear my head.

When I walk back into the bathroom I see my stuff still sitting on the counter. I stop in front of the mirror and look at myself. My hair is disheveled and nothing like the way I usually wear it. I make sure to look professional and put together no matter the occasion.

Don’t show weakness in anything that you do.

That’s what I was taught early on. Any small thing could be used against you.

It’s why I have kept my distance from my family and kept any relationships surface-level. There is always a chance someone will try to find a weakness and exploit it.

Yet today I went up against my father in front of a crowd of people. Something I have never done before. Our battles have always been behind closed doors and in the presence of a lawyer. Not today. Today I couldn’t contain my emotions.

So much of that anger had been because of Blue. Well not her per se, but the things happening to her. Never once have I felt responsible for another person. In my mind, people suffered because of their own mistakes. Like the women who hoped to further our relationship outside of casual sex. They set themselves up for disappointment by thinking we could be more. It is not my fault that they assumed I would be interested in something like that. Never once have I offered to further things with a woman. So how can I be responsible for their feelings when their hopes are bashed?

Or when someone is fired from my company for being incompetent. They claim to be unfairly treated when all I ask of them is to do their job well. When they can not fulfill their role in my company, why should I let them continue? It’s counterproductive and a waste of money.

With my family…we never bonded the way others did. Why would we? We had nothing in common with each other and our lives were set in very different directions. There were no connections built between us, so why should I try to build them now?

Rhea isn’t like the rest of us though. She has always been open and spirited. She is another person who allows hope to rule her emotions. No matter how cold I act toward her, she still pushes for more. It makes no sense to me why she would keep trying to be close to me. It’s as if she lives in her own world where we are a close and loving family. Perhaps because Max gave her that and she wants to include others but doesn’t notice when those people refuse to adapt to her expectations.

She’s persistent I’ll give her that.
I quickly shower and even though I set aside a t-shirt to wear to bed in hopes of making Blue feel less uncomfortable I don’t bother putting it on. She’ll get over her aversion to seeing me without clothes eventually. I spend all day confined in clothes and this is the only time I can be…free.

With my mind made up, I finish my nightly routine and quietly move back into the room. My eyes immediately fall on Blue but the only thing that’s changed is that she’s tucked under the covers. By the way, her shoulder lifts slowly with each breath it’s obvious that she’s asleep. So I don’t hesitate to slide under the covers as well and get comfortable. I close my eyes and try to let my mind clear, but I feel the bed shift suddenly. Then I feel soft fingers glide along my skin making me shiver. Those hands find their way to my stomach and arms wrap around me.

Blue is pressed against and she sighs like this is where she was meant to be.