Chapter 85

**Blue**


What came after that was a blank. I saw the most inviting bed in the world and climbed in it to test the feel but ended up passing out right away. The bed felt exactly like the one we had in Fiji, and I slept like a baby. I had expected to have a nightmare after what I went through but maybe I was too tired or in too much shock still that it hadn’t fully settled in. Either way when I woke up the next morning I felt like a lot of the stress and fears of last night was mostly gone. Maybe all the crap that has happened to me up to that point has desensitized me to it all together.

That is probably not a good thing, and just one more thing I will have to discuss with a therapist at some point.

I do feel the familiar weight of an arm wrapped around me and I snuggle further into the cocoon of warmth. Artemis shifts slightly and tightens his hold on me but it doesn’t seem like he’s fully awake yet. I decide to just enjoy the silent moment and let him sleep longer. He’s probably trying to make sure I don’t sneak off again, but it’s still a nice place to be. He could use the sleep too after all the drama he’s had to deal with. I feel terrible that I added to that by trying to run off. He shouldn’t have to worry about dealing with me with all this other stuff going on.

I can’t say I’m winning many wife points for the extra stress I’ve added to his plate. No more! I am going to do better now and help him focus on the important things. There is still the question in my mind…what did he do with his dad? It sounds like that’s resolved but how and what about his mom? What will he do about his business moving forward?

There is a lot of catching up for me to do obviously.

“I can hear your mind working from here.” Artemis grumbles against the back of my neck.

The small brush of his lips against my skin sends a shiver down my spine but I ignore it. “Sorry, I have a lot of questions.”

He slips his other arm under me and wraps me completely in his arms. It feels amazing and I can’t help the sigh that escapes me. This feels like a dream, but I don’t ever want to be woken up from it.

“Don’t worry about anything today. If you feel up to it we are going shopping to buy stuff for the house. You can even pick stuff up for the nursery.” He says.

I snort and roll over to face him. “I don’t think the nursery gets set up when I’m not even pregnant yet. Maybe we should wait on that.”

“Why? We plan to have a child, so why not be prepared for it now.” He asks, looking confused by me shutting down the idea.

“Yeah but maybe, I should see a doctor to make sure I can have children. Some women can’t, so maybe we shouldn’t get our hopes up until we know for sure.” The idea of not carrying our baby fills me with a deep sadness, but it happens.

I don’t want to be bitter or angry if we end up having to go through another route to have children. There are so many kids in the foster system that could use a good home. I wonder if Artemis would consider becoming a foster parent.

“What?” He asks suddenly.

“What?” I repeat back to him.

“Your face looked weird for a second. What are you thinking about?” He sounds determined to get answers but I’m not sure if this is the right time to discuss this.

“It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing. Tell me.”

“You sure are bossy this morning.” I grumble.

He tightens his hold on me so tight that I make a little grunt sound.

“You can’t run away Little Blue, you might as well tell me.” He says with a mischievous smirk.

I sigh and give in to his bossy ass. “I was just thinking that if I couldn’t have a baby what we would do. Then I thought maybe we could foster kids, but I’m not sure if you would want to do that.”

He glanced away from me, and his brows furrowed like he was thinking it through. When his eyes return to me I can’t tell what he’s thinking because he has that blank expression on his face. I wonder if maybe I should have kept that idea to myself after all.

“I don’t know much about the foster system, but if you want to foster children, I would be open to it. You did not have a good experience in that system so I can understand your desire to help. We could afford many children.”

That’s a good point, and with his big house we could have several little ones running around.

“Are you sure? It can be more of a responsibility. The kids usually have a lot of emotional trauma which can make it hard for them to adjust and they sometimes even act out. Could you handle that?”

“If I can deal with a family like mine and the high stakes of working with some of the most difficult businessmen, I think I can handle a few kids.”

He sounds so confident, but he has no idea how ugly it can get. Or how hard it could get for those kids to trust us and let us help them. They always live in a state of flight ready to be moved at any second. There is also the possibility that we could take care of them and get attached and then they will be sent back to their families. The thought of loving a child and then having to give them up makes me feel awful. Maybe fostering isn’t the best idea after all. We could look at adoption instead that way we know that no one will take them from us.

Now I’m not sure what we should do.

“I’ll make an appointment with a doctor today. With enough pull we will be able to find out everything in a few hours.” He loosens his arms and pulls his arm from under me so quickly that I roll right off.

He is moving over to our bags which always seem to magically appear and starts pulling out a change of clothes. I look down at myself and see that I’m still wearing what I was last night. Gross…

“I’m going to jump into the shower.” I tell him but he only makes a small sound of acknowledgement because he’s already got his phone out.

I pull out a few things from my bag and head into our new master bathroom. When I flick the light on, I’m impressed by how nice it looks even though it’s empty. There are some nice black and white towels hanging up which matches the continued black, white and grey theme from other parts of the house. It’s modern and clean with a shiny shower that is calling my name. I quickly strip and jump into the warm spray. It feels amazing! I close my eyes and enjoy the feel of it running over my skin.

When is feel a hand run down my arm I squeak in surprise and whirl around nearly hitting Artemis with my elbow. He rears back just in time and gives me an amused look. I feel my face warm up since this is a first for us and even though he’s seen me naked plenty of times, this feels far more intimate. He steps closer and I take a step back so that the water hits him as well.

His face twists and he moves away from me like he’s been burned.

“Fuck! Why is the water so hot? Are you trying to boil yourself alive?” He sputters.

I laugh and cup my hands to catch some water before throwing it at him. He stumbles and starts to slip. I reach out to grab him on instinct and seem to forget that he’s a whole lot bigger than me. His eyes widen as I start to fall down with him but unlike my uncoordinated ass, he’s able to recover just before he falls to the slippery ground and manages to catch me.

“Few, that was a close one.” I say with a forced laugh.

“I’ll say.” He helps me up so that I’m more vertical but leaves his hands resting on my waist. “Are you still bleeding?”

I let out a choked laugh. “What? You mean am I still on my period? Or is TOM still in town…what you said makes me feel like a crime scene walking or something. The answer though is I’m not really sure. TOM usually doesn’t stay around long, but sometimes he likes to pretend to leave and then sneaks back in. For now, I’m not flowing red. Why?”

He gives me a look that says it all. He’s dying to get my metaphorical pants off. Pervert.

“Is sex all you think about?” I ask pretending to be mad but I’m also thinking about it a lot of the time.

In fact, I’m probably just as bad as him in that area. He is seriously good at it, so I was a lost cause from the very beginning.

“Have you had shower sex before?” I ask because a second ago we were on a one-way trip to the floor.

He goes deathly still and looks a little unsure. “No. But I assume it’s similar to how we would normally do it.

Aw, isn’t he cute? But is it the same? Maybe we should have done a little research. Well, no better way to learn then to jump in and try.