65- Beauty and the Beasts - Part 3

Isabella

Still lost in thought, I can’t help but continue playing everything over and over within my mind. Every word that Sophia had mentioned to me about her life, her mother’s life, a life in which each of us were forced into living slowly began to resonate with me wholeheartedly.

It’s hard to imagine a life like that. Granted my life isn’t any better with four possessive men, it’s still hard to imagine that the women in the Mafia are always forced into it, I think, knowing that if I could do it all over again, that I would have told my father no. That even as his daughter I did not want a life like this, nor would I ever but now, I wasn’t so sure. Sure it sucked the first time around but it was because of my bratish ways, if I had just been the good girl that they wanted to begin with then maybe, just maybe my life wouldn’t have been so hellish.

“I know what you're thinking my dear and it’s not true. You must keep in mind that while you and my mother both share similar history, hers isn’t quite the same as yours, nor is yours the same as hers. For while Father had overbearing rules and a fierce temper, he always, always made things clear, and that was to always make sure she was always taken care of 100 percent of the time. Always making sure that Mother came first and gave her and me a comfortable life while doing it. Making sure to drop what he was doing and come running to us no matter how busy he was, for nothing and I mean nothing was ever too big or too small to ever be considered a hassle.”

“Never?” I all but whisper, surprised that her father would do that.

“Never, and while his temper often played a role in our lives, leaving him hot and heavy to the point of blowing a fuse, Dad always knew how to keep it contained when around us. From being able to kill without remorse to being an overprotective, overbearing father and husband the next, it was how he earned his loyalty and respect from his men and those around him.”

Respect… Loyalty… Two things that I couldn’t help but notice each time Lucus and the others would leave a room. Their men were always loyal and gave them the respect that they deserved without batting an eye. Heck, those men would die for them too if that was the case. That was just how loyal they were to each of them and to me if I allowed it.

Pausing in her words, Sophia all but sighs, not realizing just how much she had revealed about her life and to me.

“Many years later, it was then my turn to find the love of my life, in which came Roberto. Roberto James O’Donnell. Lucus’s father. And while I wish to admit my life was so much different than yours, it wasn’t.”

“For years we fought, and for years I had loathed him. Being the King of the O’Donnell Mafia Clan, Roberto all but took care of his men. Always paying them exceptionally well. Even those much lower than his men knew they were well taken care of. And whenever one of his men died in battle, Roberto made sure to handle everything, making sure that those families who had lost a loved one had the stability they needed to survive. Never did he sit by, hiding behind a desk and whip out orders. No. He was one who would always fight alongside each of his men on the front line. It was one of the many things I adored about him and it was how we raised our own children when I had them.”

“You mean Lucus?” I ask, not knowing she was referring to more than just him.

“Not just Lucus my dear. I also had three other sons as well, before Grant, Tony and Alex” admits Sophia making me curious as to who they could be as I all but cock my head to her.

“Three more? But I only know of Lucus” I say, still confused. Not knowing that Lucus had actual brothers besides Alex, Tony and Grant who were his blood brothers.

“Yes, Three. You see, when I was young, Roberto had all but taken away my firsts. My first relationship, my first kiss, even my first time being intimate with a male. Roberto was the man I had first lost my virginity to and for that I loathed him. Did I ever forgive him? Sure. I did gradually over time, coming to terms that while that man had robbed me of basically everything, could still manage to make me feel safe and loved. And being so young I was always a hot mess of emotions. From being naive to being groomed, it was my duty as the Mafia Queen to produce heirs. And as women being born into this type of life, were instantly groomed to be submissive baby makers.”

Catching my stunned expression, Sophia all but continues. “When I first got pregnant with our first child, it was just shortly after Roberto and I had gotten married. I had given birth to my first son Ramiro followed by Ernesto and Caiden, each only a few short years apart from the other before I finally had Lucus. At twenty-four my family was all but complete, or so I thought when I all but lost Ramiro, Ernesto and Caiden. Having each been killed while doing what they did best. Working for the Mafia. Lucus is the only son I have left from everything I’ve come to endure.”

Shocked, I all but stare. Sophia had four biological children and managed to lose all of them except for Lucus. My Lucus. Feeling a twinge of pain I’m not sure how I’d handle things if I all but lost Lucus or even that of Alex, Tony and Grant, for each of them were special to me in their own way and losing them left my heart aching.

“Please.. Don’t fuss over their deaths. My sons did what they loved best. But as I was about to say. One day, while sitting at home, I all but had a come to jesus moment within myself, realizing that while I often hated Roberto, I also loved him and as crazy as it seemed I eventually realized that the sooner I gave myself over to him and properly opened my heart to him would our relationship finally blossom.”

“Blossom?” I ask, curiously.

“Yes, Blossom. We explored new and uncharted territories, not only did his Empire flourish, but so did our sexual desires. We became insatiable with one another. And while you kids call it “Kinks” to us it was the pivialte point for us in our relationship. And because of that we never looked back, not once.”

“I’m confused Sophia. I mean Mother. How does this help me?” I ask, needing to seek further clarification in my overly swamped brain. Still trying to process everything leading up to now.

“Dear, what I’m trying to say to you is, while Lucus and the others may have crossed that line of no return, you though are not alone. And while irreversible damage has been dealt, things can only get better for you if you allow it. I know being thrown into an arranged marriage wasn’t what you wanted and I truly wish I could tell you it’ll get better, but we both know that it won’t, that you’ll continue to face trial and tribulation until you reach that paradise but only if you allow it.”

“I-” I attempt to say only to be silenced by her hand.

“My son Lucus as well as his blood brothers are all very much stubborn. Just like my Roberto and my Father Quinton. Except for them, they shoved their heads so far up each of their asses that they lost sight of what truly mattered. You. They started acting like you were their prisoner and not that of their Queen. Blurring the lines between work and pleasure until it all became lost to them.”

Confused, I’m all about to give up and leave only to watch as Sophia smiles, her smile all but knowing as she moves to continue. “The thing about Mafia men is that they need to feel entitled, to feel like they're the ones in utter control of the things that lay before them. And if you all but take that away from them, they're basically useless. So the moment Lucus as well as Tony, Alex and Grant had all but hit puberty, Roberto and I all but introduced them to the life of BDSM. Teaching them the ways of pleasure and gratification only for them to abuse that knowledge and become possessive little assholes. Treating you like possession instead of loving and cherishing you with their life.”