18: Complicated

Avoidance.
That was what I spent my week trying to accomplish as Sebastian and I continued preparing for tomorrow's meeting with the Vampire Council. I avoided Liam, I avoided Aaliyah, I avoided Felicity, heck, I even tried to avoid sitting in the dining room so I could avoid the painfully discriminative vampires at the table. And lastly, I avoided Demetri's calls at all costs. He'd get over me soon, right? It was not like he and I knew each other. We were simply mates who simply met once in our lives. Quite frankly, I was beginning to think his behaviour was a tad bit obsessive.
"Phoenix, come on now it's time for your last lesson of the day." Sebastian uttered from the other side of the door. Him, I could not avoid, no matter how much I wanted to. The atmosphere between the two of us had become so awkward... well, it had become awkward for me after I had almost admitted to wanting to kiss him. He, on the other hand seemed to brush the issue off and tried to make it a point that he and I were in a platonic relationship, at least, that was what he called it.
"I'm coming Sebastian!" I yelled out after putting my phone away. Over the past few days, I'd also made it a point to speak to Alice who was my eyes and ears regarding everything happening back home. Apparently, my father was in deep waters after hiding the fact that I was half vampire from everyone else. The five strongest packs were even considering demoting him from being alpha, and that was truly worrying for me. In fact, I had tried to run away to go and see him these past few days, only to be stopped by my babysitter, Sebastian.
I looked myself over in the mirror a few times, making sure nothing was sticking out and that everything was covered adequately, before I went to the door and opened it. Now, every time I saw Sebastian I began to blush, and my heartrate began to increase, and this time was no different, despite us already having seen each other multiple times today.
He held out an arm and I wrapped mine around his and looked down as we began walking towards his favourite spot, the balcony overlooking the back yard. It was at times such as these that I wondered whether or not he was teasing me and my feelings which he clearly knew I had begun to develop for him.
"Right," He began as he seated us both on the soft chairs near the edge of the balcony, "when I call you Mistress tomorrow, what will your response be?"
I cleared my throat and stared up into his blue eyes, blushed, looked down and then began, "Yes, Sebastian."
"No, not without looking me in the eye you won't. So come on, eyes on me Mistress."
I took in a deep breath. He was just Sebastian, annoying, overbearing Sebastian. That was, at least, what I tried to tell myself over and over again before looking up and staring into his blue eyes with flaming cheeks.
"Yes, Sebastian."
"Good girl," He said patting my head- a habit he had recently developed which had my heart fluttering.
"Now, if I insult you and say, for instance, call you a dog, worthless or even question your position to the throne, what would you say to me?"
"I am Phoenix Ackerman, daughter of Athena and Denzell, the last of the royal bloodline. I have as much claim to that throne as anyone else." By now Sebastian's coaching had begun to pay off, making the lines sound more natural than overly rehearsed- which, in all honesty, they were.
"Good girl," Another head pat, "You will do me proud tomorrow, Phoenix. Now, I don't need to remind you not to interfere with the nobles. You become particularly mouthy sometimes and I don't want an outburst that will compromise the image of you as abstaining from any noble business. Understood?"
"Yes, Sebastian."
He smiled in response, something he had begun to do more and more around me, and honestly it had a compromising effect on my heart. There was absolutely no way he didn't know what he did to me.
"I want you in bed early tonight so that tomorrow you're up way before six. I want to see if you can take at least half a cup of blood like you did earlier on today. Understood?"
"Yes, Sebastian."
"Good. You've worked hard these past few days. You've obeyed me, you've woken up early, taken up practicing during your free time, forced yourself to drink blood despite it still making you sick the first few times. I am honestly so proud already, and as such, I have a reward for you."
I looked up at him with a questioning look and asked, "A reward?"
He nodded yes and began leaning in. If my heart weren't as strong as it was, it would have shattered.
"A reward..." He whispered coming even closer. I gulped and just stared into his eyes as they began to become heavily lidded. He then placed a gentle, cold and soft hand against the side of my cheek before placing his lips on mine. At first, I froze, eyes still open, unable to comprehend what was going on. But then, he placed another hand on my face, brought my face closer to his and began kissing me deeper. Slowly my lips began moving against his and my eyes fluttered shut. This was, once again, so wrong. My body wanted this and perhaps I did too, but what would the repercussions be? Would I want more of Sebastian? Would he give it to me?
Sebastian then parted from our kiss, opening his eyes slowly before uttering, "I guess today your dream came true, Phoenix. Now, if you keep on being a good girl, then I will continue rewarding you, understand?"
"Y-yes... Sebastian," I blushed and panted as I uttered this.
Sebastian chuckled softly and then stood up from his seat and began walking inside before yelling out, "Early to bed!"
Sebastian and I just kissed. *Sebastian and I just... kissed!*
The feeling of his lips still lingered against my skin and the soft, sweet taste lingered on my tongue. It was so gentle, so soft and sweet that it had me all giddy and excited. If that was my reward, then I'd follow his every command.
I was just about to leave the balcony and go to my room when I caught sight of Liam entering. Immediately I contemplated jumping off the balcony and landing into one of the rose bushes below. It would be less painful than dealing with him. However, as soon as I attempted to move, his brown eyes caught me and froze in place.
"Phoenix... you're here. Am I lucky or what?" He smiled a dazzling smile.
I looked down nervously and began playing with my fingers for a moment before uttering under my breath, "Sorry, I think I have some place to be."
I began walking towards the exit, but his arm caught a hold of mine and I found myself staring up at his eyes. They were sad, soft and desperate, not what I was expecting.
"Wait, please, I just want to talk to you. I promise, that's all."
"But-"
"I *promise*, no funny business."
Well, I could kiss another kiss with Sebastian goodbye.
"Fine, I'll listen," I said.
He smiled gently and then took my hand in his, sending familiar butterflies to my stomach. He then led us back to the seats Sebastian and I previously occupied.
"About my behaviour-"
"It's okay, I heard about Lila."
He looked up at me in surprise. "You did? Who told you... oh wait, Team Lupus? Great, I can't get a break from my supportive admirers, and now it seems they've gotten a new target."
I nodded, not wanting to expose the fact that Sebastian had been the source of my information, and he sighed.
"Well, I'll just explain things further to you. I truly mean you no harm, Phoenix. I have no interest in the crown, really. I just... I can't disappoint my parents. That's why I did what I did the first night I met you. I wanted to prove to myself that I could try to become a rival to you... but it was a mistake. Once I tasted you well, I couldn't stop myself from getting addicted. I think about you all the time now, a-and I don't want to. It just happens. I like that you're shy. I like that you're different. I like that you get nervous and play with your fingers. I like you-"
"But-"
"That's all I wanted to say to you, at least before tomorrow. I don't even know whether or not we'll see each other anymore after the council makes their decision. I just thought it needed to be said, just in case we really do need to become rivals after tomorrow."
I was speechless, while I had been so preoccupied with everything else in my life, Liam had begun pining after me like a puppy, and here I was, with a mate, and now slowly developing feelings for Sebastian. I didn't know how I felt about Liam though. All he had ever done was prove to me how good vampire nobles *could* be and I would have been lying if I said I had no feelings for him, because in all honesty I could not stop myself from feeling something for him, especially when he stood up for me in front of everyone, and especially when he was looking so genuine. I wanted to say something, anything, but he cut me off.
"I know you and I could never be anything but rivals. It's impossible. You and I will always be standing a distance from each other, both with daggers pointed towards each other, fighting unwillingly for something which I'm sure neither of us want. But maybe in a different world... maybe then." He uttered staring now at the plantation below.
I agreed with him here. We could never ever be more than rivals. We could never ever feel anything for each other, but this false hate instilled into our bones. Perhaps it was another reason he told me that he liked me, so that I would know that whatever hate he portrayed would all be fake.
"Well, that's it from me, enjoy your evening," Liam said as he began to get up from his chair, but I couldn't let him go just yet.
"Liam, wait," I said grabbing onto his hand. He paused and then sat down again.
"What is it Phoenix?"
"It's *my little pet* not Phoenix. And, I'd just like to say thank you, for not treating me like some kind of piece of filth. I look forward to working against you in the future, and just know that any hostility on my part will never be personal. This game you and I play, it's one in which you and I are fixed pawns on a chessboard. I can't escape my role, and you can't either."
He nodded, "I couldn't have said it better myself." He then brought my hand to his lips and then left a gentle kiss on the back of my palm before again, getting up. This time he managed to leave uninterrupted, but I could not help but feel sad as I saw his retreating back. Did this mean we'd never touch again after today? Would I never experience the feeling of his skin on mine?
The thought made me question who exactly I had feelings for, or whether I had too many feelings for too many people. Was my love life meant to be this complicated... already?
---
I know I've been gone a WHILE, my humblest apologies!
Stay safe! Stay healthy! Sending loads of love!

The Hybrid's Mates
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