34: Who am I?
"...what exactly did you say to her?" It was the first thing I heard the moment I awoke, and the second I heard it, I decided to keep my eyes and mouth shut. Judging by the voice and tone, it was Sebastian, who seemed to be in a very unpleasant mood. But if he didn't know I was awake, perhaps I'd gather information on the shocking events that brought about my slumber in the first place.
"I-I didn't say much," this voice, much to my surprise, belonged to Liam, "I just told her about your history. I never said anything else-"
"-How could you! After I told you not to reveal anything about myself to her!" Sebastian yelled.
"Leave him alone, Sebastian, you are just projecting your own guilt onto him." Again, I was surprised as to the owner of the voice, this time, hearing Demetri speak.
Sebastian let out a heavy sigh and then continued. "It's alright, as long as you didn't mention anything about her being-"
But he was cut of sharply and soon the entire room fell silent until-
"Phoenix, we know you're awake..." I heard Demetri say. I sighed heavily before opening my eyes and being greeted by not only Liam, Sebastian, and Demetri, but Xavier as well. Xavier looked at me nervously, scoffed and then turned his head away. I hadn't expected to see him here. In fact, the fact that the four of them were here together was all extremely suspicious.
"How much did you hear?" Sebastian asked. The way he asked it had me a little annoyed, especially considering the fact that the last memory I had was of him biting me.
"Hardly anything! That's the problem. I need answers...” I then turned towards Sebastian and almost hissed out, “What the fuck did you do to me?". I then tried to get up but whimpered as my neck stung at the force of me sitting up. Slowly I reached up and touched at the sensitive skin which was a little warmer than the rest of my body. I would have expected it to have healed already, but the fact that it hadn't began creating all sorts of crazy theories in my brain.
Demetri looked towards me and then towards Sebastian, raised a brow and then spoke. "You've dug your own grave, Sebastian, all because of your jealousy. You have to tell her something at least."
"But what about the promise we made?" He asked with a sigh.
And that was when Xavier finally spoke. "That's exactly why I didn't make any promises the moment Athena and Denzell came to the four of us. She doesn't deserve being lied to the way you three lie to her. It’s disgusting, and look at where it’s led you, Sebastian.”
I was surprised at the mention of my parents, but even more so at the fact that the four of them now seemed not so unrelated as I once thought they were. And as I stared between the four of them, I began to realise that they had some sense of kinship perhaps. Something which tied the four of them together. I assumed it was something dark and sinister though. A secret, perhaps, one about me.
Liam then grunted and said, rather heated, "That's not the reason you refused to promise Athena and Denzell not to tell Phoenix anything. The real reason you did it was because you thought I loved Athena. I don't know how many times I am going to have to say this, but I've never loved her. Not in that way, at least."
Demetri sighed heavily and grabbed the both of them by the collar, effortlessly. Both of them froze suddenly and shivered at the deadly look on his face. "This isn't the time for your centuries-awaited lover's quarrel. No one gives a damn why the both of you parted ways. This is about Phoenix you morons."
“Of course, it’s about Phoenix. You all keep on lying to her and keeping her in the dark as though she’s something soft and delicate. Don’t you think she has a right to know!” Xavier almost screeched. I was moved by his words. Out of the three he seemed to be the only one on my side which, in itself was absolutely shocking.
Liam then moved away from Demetri and neared Xavier. I could see now a slight pink tinge appearing on Xavier’s face and he attempted to look away, but Liam grabbed at his chin, forcing the young vampire to look him directly in the eye.
“You like her, don’t you?” Liam said, still studying Xavier’s eyes. Xavier’s face now turned an even brighter shade of pink and his eyes widened. He was silent for a moment before he began to shake his head violently, sending Liam’s fingers falling from his face. Then he said, rather unconvincingly, “Never! I don’t like her at all. She’s a hybrid bitch!”
Demetri shook his head, annoyed, and grabbed Xavier by the ear before saying, “You are such a liar.”
And as this little scene was unfolding, I couldn’t help but let my growing shock be interrupted by Sebastian who I now noticed had been staring at the mark on my neck quite intensely. "They never said anything about marking her. I haven't betrayed my promise." He said suddenly, sending the whole room into a sense of uncomfortable silence. Eventually, Liam and Xavier gazed at each other nervously before Liam began speaking. "It seems this is a conversation not meant for us..." In a matter of moments, they were gone leaving me alone with Demetri and Sebastian.
“Cowards.” Sebastian mumbled.
I waited a moment before clearing my throat and then repeating my request, no, demand for answers.
Demetri and Sebastian looked at each other before Demetri sighed and sat on the corner of the bed. Sebastian took his place on the other corner and then nodded at Demetri.
"You and Sebastian are mates as well." He said.
I froze the moment he said it. In fact, I stopped breathing altogether. There was no way such a thing could be possible... right? Firstly, vampires did not have mates and secondly, I already had mine, Demetri. Surely the Moon Goddess would not have let me be bound to a vampire as well.
"I-I don't understand..." I murmured out confused. The very idea that Sebastian, the ancient vampire, and pain-in-my-ass, was my mate, was basically something unnatural. Then again, my very existence itself was unnatural.
Demetri smirked and then shook his head. "I knew that would be your reaction. But I'll let Sebastian explain. It's only right that he explains the *mess* he just created." And then he said softer and, in a mumble, "Irresponsible, dumb, jealous prick!"
Sebastian sighed, ran his hands through his hair, and then began to explain, making sure to go very slowly. "You already know about Generation Zero vampires and that I am one of them. But there were vampires even older than the Generation Zero vampires. They existed long before we began to keep an account of our population, generations, and bloodlines. They were called the Founder vampires. They themselves existed for generations before we began to keep a record. Now, back in the day Founder and Generation Zero vampires were animalistic and feral. It was our way of surviving and protecting our species. As such, we were quite lustful and instinctive. Our relationships were more about reproducing and satisfying our needs than anything else. But as the years passed us by, a few vampires began to develop connections. The mate bonds between vampires and other vampires were not as strong and physical as werewolf mate bonds- although there was a slight physical aspect, which I’m sure you’ve noticed exists between you and I as well- they were deeper in an emotional sense. Again, this only occurred in extremely rare and unique cases, almost as if to prepare the vampire population for the possibility of being mated to werewolves. And so, we developed our own mates, like the werewolves, and later began to mate with the werewolves as well. Those bonds were even stronger than ordinary vampire mate bonds, bordering on the intensity of true werewolf mate bonds. But things began to change after the hybrid war. Vampires began to develop into less feral creatures who were more sophisticated and were capable of forming emotional connections with one another- though nothing could ever be as emotionally intense as a vampire mate bond. My theory is that what was left of the Generation Zero vampires raised the new vampire generation to become- to a small extent- more emotional, prideful and dignified creatures as a precaution to prevent future mate bonds. But nature has a way of correcting itself and I’m sure that these legendary vampire mate bonds still exist today, the same as mate bonds between vampires and werewolves still exist today, though they are kept even more secretive. We’ve isolated ourselves so much from other species that we’ve begun to miss the opportunity of feeling true emotional connections with others other than ourselves. I hope this may change one day, or rather, that *you* will change this one day.
By the time he'd finished speaking I was so lost, I doubted anything could have made me find myself in all this disbelief I seemed to be drowning in. Founder vampires and mate bonds? It was as though my eyes were being opened to a world which existed once but was now buried in the sands of time. In fact, I was surprised my brain hadn't short-circuited at all this outrageous information it was being fed. There was, however, something that bothered me still. Sebastian had just told me that he hoped the relationship between vampires and wolves had changed but I recalled Liam mentioning him being in a war against hybrids. Perhaps being mated to me was punishment for it? Nonetheless, I asked him about it, wanting to hear his involvement in the hybrid war myself.
“Why did you participate in the hybrid war?” I asked.
Sebastian and Demetri both froze at my question, and so I repeated it, afraid to hear the answer.
“Truth be told, Phoenix, I didn’t. It is on these grounds that I have returned to the palace as a mere servant.” He said.
I raised an eyebrow, confused, and then asked another question. “Why didn’t you participate?”
“Because of you…”
My eyes widened and my lips parted in astonishment. Because of me? It made no sense. There was no way that he would have known he’d be mated to me.
“What do you mean?”
He looked towards Demetri and then at me again. He was about to say something when Demetri grabbed at his shoulder, rather aggressively and then said, "You've done enough damage. I'll take it from here."
Sebastian growled, but stayed silent, nonetheless.
"There are things that we have been hiding from you, memories of yours that have been... faded over time. Denzell and Athena made me, Liam, Sebastian, and even Xavier (who did so secretly), promise not to reveal anything regarding your past to you for your own protection. And, as creatures of honour and good faith, we have done our best to uphold our promises. But..." He then fell silent for a moment and I gazed up at him in wild anticipation. Sebastian eventually grew irritated and continued, "...but there are ways of exposing your past and recovering your memories without telling you directly so that we do not break our promise to Athena and Denzell. Me biting you has begun to trigger your memories again. You are not who you think you are, Phoenix. There is so much more to you than you realise and slowly, because of the mark I've given you, you'll begin to realise this."
"But your memories will return slowly and only the memories you have of Sebastian or memories you have relating to him will begin to appear."
I had suppressed memories. I couldn't deny the fact that this seemed to be a reasonable explanation, but I still had more questions, more things I needed to ask which I knew I wouldn't be able to have answered now. And although they swarmed in my head and threatened to break my mind itself, there was one question which stood out amongst them all: who was I?