25: I hate you

*Friendship with casual sex.*
That was the relationship both Liam and I had agreed to after we'd left the attic with me still barely able to comprehend that I'd actually lost my virginity.
I wondered, however, how Liam would be able to handle such a casual relationship. It was clear, even to someone as aloof as myself, that he had developed feelings for me, and I feared that sex would only fortify his feelings. It was not that I had a problem with Liam liking me, I just knew that feelings would be such a complication for the upcoming 'Game of Successio'. I had one goal as the new Phoenix: to stay alive, and I was not planning on letting my feelings or his jeopardise this.

When I finally reached my room, I realised that the door was wide open, and my blood ran cold at the familiar scent pouring through, out of the room. I took slow, steady steps, praying to the Moon Goddess that the man would be asleep. Unfortunately, the Moon Goddess was not taking requests this late, and I found myself in the stare of very disappointed, cold, blue eyes.
"It is four a.m. in the morning, Phoenix. Where in good God's name have you been?" It was his deadly calm tone that had my skin crawling, wanting to fall right off of my flesh, and for a moment, I almost lost my grip on 'new Phoenix'.
However, I managed to barely grip at her by the tendrils of her red hair, I took a deep breath and then utter out a very cool, calm, "Hello Sebastian."
By very cool and very calm, I meant that I stuttered over most of what I had said and then promised myself to stay silent throughout the rest of this encounter.
Sebastian stood up, livid and began walking up to me before pausing, taking a sniff and then growling lowly.
"You slept with Liam?"
And that was all I needed to gain a little bit of confidence as I turned away from him and seethed out, "What's it to you."
"Say it Phoenix. I want to hear it come from your mouth." He was extremely angry now, and I couldn't quite understand why. This had nothing to do with him.
"No."
"Yes. You will say exactly what it is you did with Liam after I told you not to go anywhere near the idiot!"
And finally, I snapped right through my subtle state of 'civil'. I immediately turned back towards him with a red eye to match his and growled lowly.
"What the hell does it have to do with you? You don't get to be mad at me, Sebastian. First you pretend to like me, then I discover that you were once a noble, Mr. 'I Hate Nobles', and finally, you embarrass me in front of everyone by *slapping* me. So, if anyone should be infuriated here, it should be me!"
By the time I was done, I was panting and had begun to break out into a sweat. Sebastian just stayed silent, looking at me in a mess of conflicting and violent emotions. It ranged from deep anger to a roaring sense of regret. Which one he was about to act out on though, I could not predict.
"Phoenix," It came out as a calm, soft mutter, "just say it."
He was now looking at the floor and breathing in deeply. Quite honestly, the sight was mind-blowingly terrifying, and, for a moment, I held my breath, before giving in and saying, "Fine. Liam and I had sex."
The second it left my lips, Sebastian's hand made contact with my cheek again, leaving me in a state of shock and blood-boiling rage. This time I was not going to run away though. This time I was going to fight back and, *hopefully*, win.
So, I began to turn towards him to face him, this time allowing my werewolf instincts to kick in as I snarled and growled deeply.
Sebastian's eyes widened and he said, in a tone now filled with regret, "I-I'm sorry Phoenix... I didn't-"
But before he could finish, I pounced on top of him, knocking him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him. I still snarled down at him, wanting so badly to turn but deciding against it- I didn't want Sanguis to have another reason to want me dead.
"Phoenix, I'm giving you five seconds to get off of me."
"I will rip your face to shreds if you don't start telling me the fucking truth, Sebastian. Why do you care whether or not Liam and I have sex with each other... and why didn't you tell me that you were a noble?"
But Sebastian seemed more inclined to lying to me than telling the truth, and that made me angrier than I'd ever been in my life. He began counting down, his red eyes on mine while I kept on yelling at him to tell me the truth.
Then, he reached one.
"I warned you, Phoenix. You're being a *bad* girl." He uttered before gripping at my arms and flipping us over so that he was hovering on top of me. The look on his face was quite difficult to place, bordering between angry and playful, and I found myself fearing what might come next. Nonetheless, I gulped deeply, before taking a breath and uttering, "I'm not afraid of you."
He smiled darkly, leaned in so his lips were just barely above mine making my heart thud frantically against my chest- much to my dismay.
"You should be. You asked why I didn't tell you that I was a noble? The truth is you and I are far from being close enough for such a topic. As for why I care that you and Liam slept together... it's because you started something inside of me, something like a fire. I lied yesterday when I was speaking to Xavier's father. I'm not... pretending, Phoenix."
And with that, he leaned down and placed his lips on mine. They were soft and surprisingly sweet. Just the sensation of his lips on my lips had my toes curling. I kissed him back, enjoying the feeling he always gave me. It was always such a deep, potent surge of excitement that, at times, I thought I'd burst into tears. And this was the problem.
With Liam, my liking him was complicated and at times, uncertain. It made it easier for me to give in to my desires. But with Sebastian there were so many feelings I was definitely certain of. It was exactly why we needed to keep our relationship as professional as possible... that, and he did hit me- twice.
So, with all the strength I could muster, I managed to pull away from him, surprising him in the process. I took another deep breath and attempted to ignore the flaming hot feeling within my chest and the thousands of knots tying my stomach up. I wanted this so badly, but I knew that I couldn't let my feelings for Sebastian come between myself and the crown awaiting me. Deep down, I knew he knew this as well. His jealousy had to mean nothing to me and nothing to him.
So, I uttered out the three words I knew he and I both needed to hear. "I hate you."
As soon as it left my mouth, his face fell, and eyebrows furrowed deeply. His eyes, visible through the strands of blonde hair hanging in his face, had now gone back to their cold blue colour.
"You don't mean that Phoenix."
"Yes, Sebastian, I do. I *hate* you."
And after I said that I let my hand collide with his face, sparing none of my strength. The force of it sent him tumbling off of me and he clutched at his cheek in agony. When he removed his hand from his pale cheek, I noticed that there was a large, red mark and his cheek was bleeding from a few of my stray nails which had assaulted his skin. I wanted to say I was sorry, but I refused to even utter the words. This is who I needed to be in order to have any chance at surviving.
"Now get out." I said softly and maliciously.
His eyes met mine again and for a moment, he just stared at me intensely before getting himself up off of the floor and heading to the door. Before he exited, however, he turned back towards me and said, "I understand."
His words showed no trace of anger. Instead, it was filled with understanding and a subtle sense of realisation.
Sebastian then stepped out of my room and closed the door behind him. When he did, I burst into tears. But these would not be my last tears, not even close.
---
Hello everyone! Sorry for the long wait, I'm still in the process of recovering but can muster up the strength for writing.
Thoughts?
Stay safe! Stay healthy! Sending my love!

The Hybrid's Mates
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