27: Thank you

By the time Sebastian and I had finished with our training I was pretty bruised, and my clothes were full of blood. Nonetheless, I'd proven myself to him through the day and he had promised that we would move on to the elemental and realm training rooms the next day. Unfortunately for the both of us, our little performances were not unnoticed by... anyone. In fact, we'd successfully became the most talked about partners in the span of only a few hours.
"I told you I didn't want to draw any attention to ourselves!" Sebastian said as we walked towards my room.
I stopped right in my tracks, crossed my arms and then looked up at him, not at all impressed. "I'm sorry but who was it that threw Liam across the room and then literally broke and entire training room?"
"I believe the latter was you, Phoenix." He uttered with a subtle hint of snarkiness. By now I was just about done with him and his little comments. The girl I was when I'd just arrived here in this palace had clearly disappeared and now, I took her place- a young woman in love with Sebastian and at the same time still in the process of trying to hate him.
The rest of the trip was silent and occasionally I caught Sebastian stealing a few glances here and there which I blatantly ignored. I could still feel the tension between us, the unsaid words, the feeling of hurt and betrayal and the struggle for us to completely ignore the fact that deep down there was something between us both, something dangerous and better left alone.
It was only when we got to the door that he gently placed his hand on my shoulder and tugged at me, so I was facing him. I looked up at him, confused, but said nothing as he began to speak.
"There's been... something I've been meaning to tell you regarding the Games. It's something I may have forgotten to speak to about-"
"You 'forgot' to say a lot about the games. In fact, if I recall correctly, it was Liam who told me what I needed to know, not you. So, thank you for nothing." I said, narrowing my eyes towards the end of my little "speech".
Sebastian growled lowly and immediately grabbed my hands and pinned me to the door. His eyes were now blood red and I could see his fangs peeking out from beneath his lips. Admittedly, I was terrified, and rightly so. I still knew hardly anything about Sebastian or his capabilities and that frightened me to death. But at the same time, and much to my dismay, it also excited me to the point that even now, I couldn't help but crave his lips on mine.
"Liam again! Are you in love with him, Phoenix?"
I raised a brow at his question, angered, but at the same time asking it to myself as well. I couldn't afford to fall for Sebastian, let alone Liam. Despite this, I couldn't stop thinking about what we'd done the previous night, and admittedly, I could still feel the touches of his cool skin against mine. They haunted me in an unfamiliar way, and it had been agony trying to forget them and push them at the back of my mind. But in love? Surely, I was not so far gone. I could only love one person... at least, that was what I thought.
"No, Sebastian. I am not in love with him. And even if I was... it has nothing to do with you. Our relationship is professional, or did you forget?"
But what I said only made him angrier, and his grip on my wrists tightened. I showed no sign of being affected by it and instead, kept my golden eyes on his red ones.
"You know what, Phoenix, I was going to be gentle about this, but it seems you don’t like it when I’m gentle with you. What I forgot to say is that every single noble is allowed two family members as... helpers through the games. If they need knowledge, weaponry or even a little miracle, they have their families there in the frontlines prepared to help. Your father is unfortunately unable to attend during the Games because he is currently undergoing scrutiny from his own people and your mother is dead. In essence, Phoenix, you have no one."
It was not what he said, but the way he said it that infuriated me and yet, at the same time made me heartbroken.
When Sebastian caught sight of the distraught look on my face, his eyes began to soften and turn back to their blue shade. "Phoenix I-"
But I couldn't have been bothered with anything more that he had to say. My father was not going to come to help me through these Games and neither was my mother. I was now alone and as good as dead.
I pulled my hands away from Sebastian, shoved at him and began walking away with him calling and chasing after me. But after a few unsuccessful attempts of getting me to listen to him, he finally gave up and reluctantly left me alone, and admittedly, I was glad. Being around Sebastian was exhausting, especially considering his outrageous mood-swings. I thought he, of all people would have taken this better. When I first met him, he'd been nothing but formal and stern which made it easier to believe that he did not, in fact, want to be anything more than professional with me. Now, however, I had no clue. Did he still want to pretend he didn't care about me around others? Could that be the reason for his awful behaviour?
I soon became so absorbed in my own thoughts of Sebastian and my worries regarding my father- or lack thereof- that I'd begun to lose track of where my legs were taking me, and soon I found myself outside of the library doors. It had been quite some time since I'd been here, in fact, I hadn't come back since the incident with Xavier. Perhaps a good read would do me well, and perhaps the silence would give me time to collect my thoughts.
I pushed the wooden doors open and began stepping into the room. I was about a few steps in when I froze as I saw a familiar face sitting at one of the smooth desks. Immediately, he lifted his head from his book and his strikingly beautiful eyes caught sight of mine making my breath hitch. Why did vampires have to be such attractive creatures. It honestly didn't get any less intimidating.
Xavier and I stood there staring at each other for a moment, before the awkwardness of it all began to sink in and drive me to words.
"I um... I can come back later." I said before attempting to turn around and literally run out of the room.
I was, however stopped when he called after me. Slowly, I began turning back towards him, a confused look written all over my face.
"You don't have to go, Phoenix-" he then paused, looked down and then shifted his eyes back to me, "-stay."
As soon as it left his mouth, my own hung open in shock. No snarky comment, no calling me a 'hybrid bitch', in fact, he'd even used my actual name. This was so out of character for him, and quite frankly, it had me on edge. Nonetheless, I nodded curtly and then began scouring the shelves. I was just looking for something easy and simple to read, something I wouldn't need to pay close attention to. After searching and searching, I finally found the book I was looking for, and unfortunately for me, it was higher up on the shelf than I’d expected. I had no desire to look for another one, and so I resorted to at least attempting to getting it down. First, I began reaching my hands up and jumping as high as I could. When that didn't work, I began to climb up the shelves. However, just as I grasped onto the leather cover of the book, my foot slipped from one of the lower shelves and I found myself tumbling hard onto the ground.
"What the hell are you doing there?" I heard Xavier yell, and soon found him standing right in front of me, gazing with amusement at my disheveled state.
I blushed in embarrassment and scratched my head before saying, "I slipped. I couldn't reach the book on the top shelf."
Xavier raised a brow and then looked up towards the shelf. "'The Trapped Blackbird'? Is that the book you're looking for?"
I hesitated for a moment, trying to decipher what he was up to. Perhaps he wanted to tear the book up in front of me and ruin my fun... no, his expression was lacking its usual mischievousness.
"Yes," I uttered, but with the utmost caution.
Xavier scoffed, took a few steps closer and then did something I never ever would have expected- he took the book down from the shelf, turned towards me, and then held the book out for me.
I took it, still cautious, but never once let my eyes leave his. *What was he up to?*
Then suddenly, the expression on his face changed to one resembling... nervousness, and he slowly reached behind his neck and scratched at his soft locks of hair.
"There's something I've been meaning to... say to you." He uttered, and then held a hand out to help me out. Hypnotised by his startlingly soft gaze, I took it and allowed him to help me off the ground. "Thank you."
When he said it, I nearly fell back down onto the floor. *Thank you?* Such a phrase did not exit Xavier's mouth, ever. And so, with a chuckle I asked him to repeat what he had said. It was then that I caught a little glimpse of Xavier again.
"Don't pretend like you didn't hear. I-I'm not fucking saying it again, damn it!"
But I could see a soft, tender blush caressing his cheeks, only deepening my confusion. "Why are you thanking me?"
He sighed heavily and turned away from me for a moment before turning back and tracing a thumb along his lower lip. My eyes travelled to them and for a moment, I swore I could taste them.
"Well last night when you stood up for Liam and then got slapped. I just, I think it was pretty brave of you to speak up for Liam. No one ever has... not even me... his oldest friend."
*His oldest friend?*
I was about to ask him about it when he suddenly realised just what he'd said and decided to change the topic. "So, your first Games, huh? I'm sure you've learnt about the slaughter-like nature it has for people who... defy the principles of Sanguis."
I smirked deeply and then asked, "And what principles have you defied, Xavier?"
He said nothing for a while but grew a deep smirk to match mine. "You always seem defiant, yes, but your actions are not enough to pose you a threat to Sanguis. So, there must be something else."
And then his smirk faded and suddenly, I was watching the back of Xavier retreat. He was wordless but not angry, and when he exited the library, he didn't once slam the door.
I just stood there for a moment, deep in thought. It was clear there were still so many secrets I had yet to uncover. And the time I had to uncover it in? A month... or so I thought.
---
Hello there!
So, as I said in my other novel, updates will be slow due to a few personal matters in my life at the moment. I know updates have been infrequent for the past month or so and I am truly sorry. All I can ask is for your continued support and patience with me as I recover from these personal matters.
Stay safe! Stay healthy! Sending my love!