Chapter 17

**ARIA**

I feel an arm around me, open my eyes slightly and see Adam asleep against me. A body sticks to mine from behind and a second arm surrounds me. I don’t have to turn around to know it’s Austin. I try to get up quietly to go to the bathroom.

“Stop moving around like that.” Austin tells me in a sleepy voice.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I giggle.

“You two are almost done? I need to get some sleep. There’s one that wore me out last night.” Says Adam.

I hear my phone ringing in the distance. Wait, my phone?

I jump up, my big bed empty. Damn it was a dream. My phone continues to ring, I grab it and pick it up without looking.

“Hey Scava! Are you okay?”

“Hey Gavin I’m good thanks, you?”

“I’m fine. I was asking if we could get together today before I leave for New York.”

“I don’t have any plans today. Where do you want to meet?”

“We can have lunch together, I’ll send you the address.”

After I hang up, I go into the bathroom to get ready. When I come out with a towel wrapped around me, I hear muffled words coming from the bedroom. I go back into my room while continuing to dry my hair with another towel.

Austin and Adam are both sitting on my bed looking at me like they are ready to devour me. I pinch my arm and grimace.

“Why did you do that?” Adam asks me confused.

“It was just to check something. What are you two doing here?” I ask quickly.

“Rosalie told me she told you what happened with Rachel and since you haven’t left your room since you came home with the girls we wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Austin explains to me.

“Uh yeah everything is fine don’t worry about it.” They sit there looking at me unconvinced. “I assure you it’s fine. I’ll go get dressed then...”

Neither of them moves. I decide to go to the dressing room to get dressed, once I'm done I hear knocking at the door. I open it and only Adam is on the other side.

“He’s feeling guilty. He’s afraid you’ll be mad at him for not waiting for you.” He tells me softly.

“He shouldn’t.”

“That’s what I told him.” He pauses, taking the time to look at me. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I’m having lunch with a friend later.”

“A boy friend?”

“Yeah. You got a problem with that?” I ask teasing him.

“No. I know you’re ours. At least I know you’ll choose between one of us...so I’m not afraid of someone else coming between us.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask him with a raised eyebrow. “How can you be so sure?”

He touches my hand with his own and moves up my arm ever so slowly, running his fingers along my jaw to the back of my neck, running his hand behind my head under my hair. Leaving a trail of goosebumps where his fingers touch me. He brings his face close to mine, my mouth opens and my thighs clench.

“That’s why.” He tells me his lips a few inches from mine.

I swallow and briefly close my eyes.

I lick his lips while looking into his eyes. The energy crackles around us and we throw ourselves at each other. Our kiss is not gentle or sensual, instead it is wild and fast. I let the desire I feel for him guide me. He lifts me up and carries me to my bed. He throws himself on me and looks at me with hooded eyes.

He lies on top of me and moves his hand up my thigh to my crotch.

“We can’t...”

“I know.” He cuts me off. “I want you so much.”

“Me too.”

He kisses me again, slower this time, his body still on mine.

“Would you let me go further if I guaranteed I wouldn’t mark you?” He asks me out of the blue.

I stifle a laugh. “It’s not just because of that. I don’t want to go further, but it’s also for Austin. I would...”

“Feel like you’re cheating on him.” He cuts me off and I nod.

He gets up and stands in front of me running his hands through his hair, sighing.

“I understand but I want to be selfish every time I’m with you.” He confesses. “Deep down I have this certainty that you’re mine but you’re not really... at least for now.” I give him a sad smile and he adds. “I hope so anyway.”

I reach up and stroke his cheek. “I know this is hard for you but it’s hard for me too. My life is about to be turned upside down forever.”

He takes a step back and looks me straight in the eye. “If I have to be honest with you. I think you’ll keep a connection with your family if you choose Austin, he’ll accept that. Your kids will be able to have a connection with your dad and your brother.” He pauses without taking his eyes off mine. “From my side, I unfortunately can’t guarantee that. I don’t want to make you a promise I can’t keep. Our existence must remain a secret. And as for the part about the children, I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to have any.”

I look at him trying to figure out why he’s telling me all this, like he’s giving up or maybe he really wants me to hold all the cards.

“I just want you to know what to expect, that’s all. I would be mad at myself for all eternity if you were to regret your choice to pick me because you didn’t know everything.” He said to me as if he was reading my mind. “I’ll let you finish getting ready. Maybe we can spend some time together this afternoon. I’d like us to talk about everything, I’d like you to be able to choose quickly.”

I don’t have time to say anything to him, he’s already slipped away. I stare at the door for a moment unable to move after the avalanche of information I just received in my face. If I am to be completely honest I have never thought about marriage or having children. I’ve always told myself that I’ll have time to ask myself all these questions, but all of a sudden I have to know in the slightest what I want for the rest of my life to make the right decision. Adam is right when he says he knows that no one will come between us because it’s the truth. No one is ankle deep, I could never look at a man the way I look at them, that’s a fact. I have this certainty of knowing that no one will ever come close to them and that they were made for me.