Chapter 18

**AUSTIN**

“So she tells you she’s going to lunch with a guy and you say nothing. Why didn’t you tell her something?”

“What did you want me to say? She’s attracted to us and only us.” He answers me like it’s the dumbest question he’s ever heard.

“How can you be so calm?” I ask him, running my hands through my hair.

“It must be my vampire part, it creates a balance with my wolf.”

He’s so calm while I’m boiling from the inside, it’s getting harder and harder for me to be around Aria without marking her. It’s getting to the point where I’m almost afraid I’ll lose it and do something I might regret. Or rather, something she might regret. When Rosalie told me that she told her about Rachel I thought I was going to lose her but I wasn’t prepared for her indifference. If she had done what I did, I would have blamed her even though I know it would have been foolish. It seems like she is much more mature than I am.

“She doesn’t blame you. You should trust her. You didn’t know her at the time and you never thought you’d find your mate so...”

“I know all that.” I cut him off. He annoys me for being so responsible and reasonable.

I can’t understand how the goddess of the moon could choose us the same mate when we are so different. The more time passes, the more I start to think that Aria would be better off with Adam. They are both a little bit alike, they are calm, down to earth and I feel like they are not the impulsive type, unlike me.

“I’m going for a run.” I announce to him as I head for the door.

“I’ll go too.”

“Not with me. We’re not fucking friends.”

He raises his hands in a sign of surrender and walks out of my office. I have to go for a run to let off steam and if my wolf crosses his I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop him before he rips his head off.

**ARIA**

“So how was your lunch with Gavin?” Riley asks me, barely through the doors of the pack house.

“Good. He offered me an internship at his dad’s publishing company.”

“You turned it down?”

“As if I had a choice.” I sigh. “I won’t see Gavin again. He admitted to me that he wanted us to be more than friends. He wanted me to go to New York with him and we could both try again.”

She slings her arm over my shoulders. “I could have told you that. Only you couldn’t see the way he was looking at you. Is that what’s bothering you?”

“No. I mean, I’m disappointed to lose a friend, but... there was this girl at the restaurant. I don’t know... I felt like she was watching me.” I shrug a shoulder.

“What was she like?”

“Beautiful. A tall blonde. Maybe I’m just fooling myself.”

“Yeah, probably.” She pauses. “Speaking of blonde. Have you talked to the boys about Rachel?”

“No. Adam told me Austin was upset with himself so I think maybe I should have a talk with him.”

“Good idea. He’s in his room. He came back not long ago from his run.”

I nod before heading up the stairs. I played the indifference card with them because I didn’t want to show him that it had affected me. I can’t figure out how I can be mad at him for what happened. He didn’t know me and he didn’t know he would ever meet me and yet it hurt me to listen to Rosalie and that’s not like me.

I knock on Austin’s bedroom door and he opens it seconds later, wearing only a white towel around his waist. His brown hair still dripping, my eyes roam over his pecs and down his torso to the towel. Who turned up the heat all of a sudden?

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate the way you look at me, but you can come in now that I’m closing the door.”

“Sorry.” I reply embarrassed as I walk into his room and close the door behind me.

He watches me with only his towel around his waist. “Could you get dressed, please? I wanted to talk to you.”

He nods and disappears into his dressing room, emerging a few moments later with a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. he could be wearing a potato sack and he’d still look great.

He sits on the edge of his bed and beckons me to join him.

“I wanted to talk to you about Rachel... This morning, I acted like I didn’t care about what Rosalie told me, when in reality...it just...I’m trying to find the right word. I think it hurt me.”

“If you only knew how bad I feel about it.” He says to me as he lowers his head, obviously pained.

“Objectively I have no reason to be mad at you. You hadn’t found your mate and you thought that maybe you’d never find her. She clearly used you and your vulnerability to get you to mark her.”

“She didn’t force me into anything. The marking was my idea.” He sighs. “It would be so simple if she had forced me. I would love to blame it on her, but I won’t.”

“Maybe she didn’t force you but she manipulated you, like she manipulated Adam.”

“Adam didn’t mark her and he didn’t kill her.” He yells at me. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you in that tone.” He stands up and runs his hands through his hair.

“I’m not trying to make excuses for you because you don’t need them. What I wanted to tell you is that deep down I wish you had waited for me.” I pause as I stare into her eyes. “Maybe it’s silly, but I wish you’d held out hope...for me.”