CHAPTER 28 : Pouring It All Out

Luna couldn’t contain her emotions, she tucked herself and leaned on the tree beside. Then she hugged her knees, bowed and rested her head on her knees.
“Hey, are you okay? Are you cold?” Clell asked worriedly, he was confused as to why Luna acted that way. Luna started sobbing when she heard Clell’s worried and caring voice. She felt guilty and torn.
“Luna? Answer me. Are you okay? Look at me. Please.” But Luna couldn’t still make herself face or look at Clell, because she knew that if she'll look at she won't be able to control herself. She knew that if she'll look at him, despite not wanting to be affiliated with the wolves anymore, she will give him a chance. She will give them a chance. The next thing she heard was Clell’s frustrated sigh, followed by his sobs.
Feeling as if he couldn’t fix everything with Luna anymore, Clell couldn’t push back his tears anymore and just let himself be devoured with his emotions. Luna’s heart, on the other hand, felt a pang when she noticed that he was already crying, she felt more guilty. That’s when she decided to speak up and told him about her version of the story. Her truth.
She raised her head and looked at him, he was leaning to a tree near him as well—eyes looking at the sky.
"Oh, how much I love to hug you right now, Clell." She muttered under her breath.
"You don't know how much I miss kissing your lips and I much I miss feeling your warmth and comfort."
"Ughhh! Get a grip, Luna." she tried reprimanding herself.
She took a deep breath first before muttering a single word, preparing herself for everything that will happen if she’ll satiate him with the truth.
“I’m so—sorry, Clell.” She finally mustered the courage to speak. Clell just shifted his gaze at her, giving her a questioning, defeated and dejected look.
“I’m sorry for keeping you out. Well, for pushing you away. If only you know everything about me, you wouldn’t feel the same way.”
“Then tell me. Make me understand. Don’t keep me in the dark too long.” He pleaded, his voice cracking. "At this point, I'm sure you know how much I love you, Luna. What are you scared of? Whatever that is that you're hiding from me, I'd still forgive. I want to be with you. I don't want to lose you! You don't know how much I want to kiss you right now. You don't know."
“I don’t know where to start.”
“Really? –or you’re just scared of the outcome? Why are you so scared of letting people in, Luna? Why are you so scared of letting people love you?”
“I—I don’t know.” She bit her lower lip, while Clell shifted his gaze again—not wanting to meet Luna’s eyes.
“Clell, ughhh. I’m really sorry.” She said to him again, but Clell just remained silent and stood up preparing to leave. Luna managed to grab his arm and hugged him, while crying. He felt his shirt getting a bit soaked with her tears and that made his heart constrict in agony.
“Please.” She released a frustrated sigh afterwards. “Let me first gather my thoughts.”
“I actually wanted to make it work with you. I allowed myself to be vulnerable in front of you, I mean actually let you feel that I like you the same way. Remember my birthday? I’m sure you felt it too, Clell. I’m sure I made you know and feel what I feel for you.”
“But what did you do? You hurt me. You left me hanging. You made me feel as if you didn’t want me the same way I do. You can’t blame me for trying to stay away from you.”
Clell bowed down his head as he remembered what had happened that night, he was still feeling guilty and sorry for what he did to Luna. He knew he left her hanging and unwanted that night. His hands slowly and carefully moving to engulf her and comfort her as she was still hugging him and sobbing on his chest.
“I was hurt, Clell. I was badly hurt.” She continued, both of them couldn’t help but cry more.
“But I would be lying to you if I say that I didn’t want to fix things with you, because I did and I really do want to be with you, too.”
“Then why? Why are you still pushing me away? Why are you stopping yourself from being with me?”
“Because I can’t. Things just got more complicated when I found out who your family are and you being a werewolf.”
“Luna, my mom was a mortal, too, before my dad turned her into one of us. You don’t have to be a werewolf like me, there will be adjustments of course.”
“That’s the problem, Clell.”
“What do you mean? You confused me so much. Can you stop beating around the bush and tell me everything so that I can fully understand where you’re coming from?” Clell replied slightly raising his voice, sounding a bit irritated and frustrated at the same time.
Luna was slightly aggravated too as to how their confrontation was going. “The problem is I am not just an ordinary human being like you expected me to be.”
“What??”
She finally uttered the words that she incarcerated in her for so long, she finally told him that she's a werewolf too, and felt like a thorn was plucked out from her chest, she felt relieved that she finally told him the truth and nervous about his reaction.
“What? Are you being serious right now?”
“Yeah. I am.”
“Then that’s even better. It won’t be that complicated to be together.”
“Actually—it’s the opposite, Clell. You still don’t know my pack.”
“I am from the Summer Pack, Clell. The mortal enemy of your pack.”
“You can’t be. No.”
“My dad is the alpha. Connall.”
“What?? You’re Ayame’s sister?”
“You know her?”
“I—uhhh..Uhmm, yeah. It’s best to know everything about your enemy to prepare yourself. That’s why I know her. Then why are you staying away from them if you’re from the summer pack?”
“I mean they’ve treated fine when I was still a child.” Luna started off, sitting on the ground and leaned at the tree again. She tried to recollect everything that had happened and continued telling him about her childhood, feeling as if she was stabbed in her heart in every word she said.
“However, I can’t go back to that life anymore, Clell.”
“That’s why I don’t want to be sucked in the wolf world anymore. That’s why I can’t be with you.”
“But this time it’s different. You have me, Luna. You can lean on me. I will help you. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
“Please, Clell. Don’t make this hard for me. Let me go.”
“Luna, hear me out. Please.” Clell pleaded, reaching out for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She pulled her hand away from his grasp.
“Please. Let me go. Let’s end whatever it is between us here.”
“Luna, I will protect you. Don’t be scared, please. I beg you, don’t leave me.” he sounded stubborn and desperate. He then grabbed her for a tight hug, refusing to let her go. Luna just close her eyes trying to feel his warmth for awhile before pushing him away. She then turned her back on him and walked away, covering her mouth to muffle her sobs.
“Good bye, Clell.”