CHAPTER 41 - Reconnecting

Luna positioned herself as her mentor watched her from a decent distance. She started closing her eyes, thinking about shifting, but her mind was in a whirlwind—she was flooded with thoughts. Thoughts about her past and whatever had happened before she reached here—with the love of her life, Clell. She looked up at her mentor and saw him smile as he watched her trying to transform which made her insecurities crept up on her. She thought he was mocking her or doubting her. She couldn’t concentrate and started looking at her surroundings, and landed her eyes on Clell.
Clell was looking at her intently with furrowed brows and concerned face, he knew something was wrong or something was amiss with Luna.
“You can do it.” he mouthed at her to give her encouragement. With Clell’s words, Luna somehow gained some confidence and focused back to what she was asked to do—to transform. Nonetheless, her insecurities and inner turmoil were already to huge that it started to engulf her mind. The excitement that she felt when they arrived at the training ground was now replaced with anxiety and worries. The sun that she didn’t mind in the first seemed to burn her skin.
“Miss Luna.” Her mentor said gently with his old yet calm voice.
Luna, with sweat dripping from her forehead to her shoulders and nape, didn’t look at him. She didn’t even open her eyes, but she raised her brows to let him know that she was listening.
“I think you now know the problem.” He pointed. Luna furrowed her brows in respond, she didn’t know if she was still in denial or she just didn’t know if they were in the same page.
“You are traumatized by your past, that’s the cause of your shifting ability being dormant for years.” He continued.
“I know it was difficult, but if you didn’t let that moment get into you then you could’ve shifted years ago. Some wolves shift late, that’s normal, but you got so afraid; hence, you weren’t able to shift until recently—and that was because of your will to save Clell. However, if you haven’t had a reason at all, then maybe you would remain dormant for a long time.”
Luna’s tears started crystalizing from the corner of her eyes, she knew he was right. Every word he uttered was spot on. She was indeed traumatized; hence, she ran away from home and lived a life vastly different from her life before. She even dared to forget about her roots.
“How…” she managed to choke out, but her words failed her afterwards.
“Hmmm?” her mentored said, encouraging her to finish her sentence.
“How—” she tried again, “—will I solve this inner issues?”
Saying it made it more painful. She was charily hiding these issues in the dark, shoving them at the back of her mind. She didn’t want to acknowledge them, but saying it now made them more real to her.
“It is only you that can help yourself, Miss Luna. I am only here to guide. You have to accept what had happened, make peace with your past and move on. Connect with yourself, your true self. You have so much potential and power in you, I can feel it, you just don’t know how to let it all out yet.”
“Make peace with my past and connect with my true self?” she repeated, sounding confused.
“Yes, indeed, Miss Luna.”
“But who am I exactly?”
“You are the brave girl who wanted to save everyone in your pack, that was why you studied and trained so hard in the past. Am I right?”
“But I couldn’t save everyone. I am weak.”
“That was what you thought when you couldn’t shift. Bring back the confidence you had before the shifting ceremony happened. Bring back the goal you set and your zeal. Bring back the determination. Bring back the daughter of the Alpha of the Summer Pack. After that, align them and connect them with the Luna that you are today.”
Luna knees went weak which made her succumb to the ground and sat. She couldn’t hold back her tears either. She remembered everything she went through after the shifting ceremony. The memories were still very vivid in her mind as if it was just yesterday. The wounds it had caused felt like it was still fresh.
Clell couldn’t stay still as he watched from a distance, he wanted to stop everything and run towards her and call it a day. However, he also knew that Luna had to undergo through this phase and face it; with that, he was torn. He wanted to hug her so bad and tell her that “everything’s going to be alright.”
“Miss Luna.” Her mentor kneeled down and gently reached out for her chin to raise her head up.
“A princess shouldn’t let her tiara fall. Raise your head like a true alpha and princess of your pack. How can you save your people from your father, if you keep looking down and doubting yourself? We should call it a day and come back again after two days. I hope you will make progress by then.”
He then gestured Clell and made him come over. Clell immediately ran towards Luna and sat down beside her. Luna’s mentor left the both of them in the area, giving them some time and allowing them to talk.
Clell remained silent beside her, waiting for her to open up first or say something—even just a single word. However, Luna stayed quiet as well. They let the silence lingered between them, then Clell reached out for her hand and gave it a gentle squeezed, and she finally broke down beside him.
Clell hugged her as she sobbed to his shoulder. “It’s alright.” He said, reassuringly.
“Everything’s different now because I am here with you. I won’t leave you. When you doubt yourself, think about me—because I believe in you. I believe in your capabilities. I will always do.”