Chapter 109

Dylan POV

"I'm self-diagnosed with word vomit. Sometimes it just can't be helped." I swallowed thickly before reaching into my pocket and pulling out the scrunched up wrinkle stained envelope, ready to change the subject quickly. "Anyway, I'm not here to talk about how shitty my life is..." I held out the white paper and smiled slightly.

"I'm here because, I can't do this alone." I watched Ryan Clarke look at the envelope in my hand and a confused frown quickly took over his face and curiosity was embedded into his small eyes.

"What do you mean you can't do this alone? What even is that?" I sighed and held one side of the envelope in each hand, my name staring back at me, causing yet another lump to form in my throat. I looked at Clarke then sighed before awkwardly waving the paper slightly.

“It’s a letter from my mom. She wrote it before I got her killed.” His eyes widened drastically at my words, and he quickly sat up more, letting his back sit up straight on the bed.

“You still haven’t opened that yet?” I shook my head. Even I couldn’t understand why I had waited so long. I just felt my breath halt drastically every time I even thought about opening it, and then I’d start to sweat and eventually I’d begin to panic. Now I felt different, Lewis had really helped me by just being there while I ranted. I think I had repressed my emotions so much that they had been manifesting into attacks of panic.

“No, not yet any way. I was hoping I could read it with you? I don’t exactly want to be on my own.” My grip tightened on the envelope and my gaze met the floor. I was so nervous it was unreal. The last words we ever spoke to each other weren’t something I wanted to remember and yet, I knew it would never leave me. Other than our last minutes together these written words were the very last time I’d ever hear from her. “I won’t be able to cope well if the last thing she ever said to me were written words of disappointment.”

“Of course you can read it here… But Dylan, your mom was nothing but proud of you. You have to know that…” my eyebrows scrunched slightly in sorrow and my shoulders shrugged out of disagreement. “Listen to me…” I looked away from him quickly, which in turn caused his voice to become very stern. “Look at me and listen…” I was that surprised by his tone that my head actually shot to him. “No one, not a single lycan or human, should have ever been through what you have, and yet you’re still here, you rejected the king at every turn, you fought with a determination I didn’t think anyone possessed, not to mention you saved my life, your mother was proud of you… and so am I.” It meant a lot to me to hear that from Clarke, we used to be close, he was basically my self proclaimed brother.

“Thanks Clarke, but honestly there’s more people out there fighting than what you think, it isn’t just me.” His head shook rapidly as he continued to try and put his point across.

“Just because more people are fighting, it doesn’t take your fight away from you. You have given people hope for a better future. So whatever your mom has written, just know that you gave her hope.” It’s still a foreign concept to me to be someone else hope when I barely had any.

I looked at the letter and turned it over in my hands, debating wether to actually open it or not. Honestly, Now that it was in front of me I was seriously regretting even thinking about opening it up.

“Oh, for gods sake…” Before I could think any more about my actions, I tore open the envelope and pulled out the folded paper from in side it.

“Are you ok?” I simply nodded my head and swallowed thickly as I gently unfolded the paper and smiled. There lying in the center of the paper between the folds, was a passport style photograph of me, my mom, my dad and a very young baby Freddie. Where she even found it was beyond me, but it was the last time we were all together as a family, before the new world ripped us apart. “That’s a nice picture.”

I think Clarke was feeling a little weird about the whole thing, but still it was nice to have him with me.

I set the photograph down beside me and brought my attention to the writing that adjourned the page. My mom always did have lovely handwriting.

I felt my eyes begin to water instantly, which prompted Ryan to place his palm upon my knee. His physical touch was just a small yet innocent reminder that he was with me, and for that I was extremely grateful.

*Dylan.*
*I hope this letter gets to you soon, and I know I should be saying these words to you in person, rather than writing them down on paper for you to read, but this was the only way I could talk with you.*

*I know you must hate me after everything that has happened, I hate myself for standing aside, but I am your mom, and I am so honored to have watched you grow into such a fearless young lady. I was powerless to stop you from being taken from me, and I will regret my actions for the rest of my life. You would have fought with your all if it was me who was being taken away, because that’s who you are.*

*I failed you massively and I am so so sorry.*

*Never lose your fight, my beautiful baby girl. Your rebellious attitude is who you are, and I had no idea just how many times you protected me and your brother over the years. I made you grow up before you should have, but I am so so proud of the amazing young lady you have become.*

*Freddie is convinced that you’re a super hero, and after everything you have been through, I think he may be right. You are so strong and I’m begging you to never lose it. Keep your head high and don’t you dare let anyone drag you down not now, not after everything.*

*I love you so much my little Dylan flower, and I am so proud of you, and I know your dad would be too. We will be together again soon and when we are, I will make sure we stay that way, and that nothing will hurt you ever again.*

*Stay strong, and stay safe, and always do what you think is right.*

*Love you always*
*Mom. Xx*


By the time I had finished reading my mothers words, salty water was rolling down my cheeks. She was proud of me? Why though?

Everything inside that one letter was exactly what I needed to hear in order to move forwards. My mother was right, I had been beaten on throughout the entire duration of new world, so why would the kings beatings break me?

No, if anything I knew deep down that they had made me stronger.

“She was proud… she was proud of me? My mom was proud and I basically killed her.” I sobbed quietly while remaining in Ryan’s RV. He moved quickly while I continued to cry, and embraced me in a warm affectionate hug.

“Enough of that, you didn’t kill her ok, you didn’t. If you say you killed her one more time I’m going to genuinely slap you. King Josh killed her just so he could embed this false sense of guilt in you. It was a tactic to get you to accept him.” He was right, I should have the freedom to say whatever I liked without facing consequences, and those consequences certainly shouldn’t have been taken out on those closest to me. “Do you think you would have so many people rallying behind you if they thought for one minute you were in the wrong?”

“I wouldn’t say the growing rebellion was because people were rallying behind me. I’m not a leader, how many times do I have to tell people that.” His head shook again in disagreement, why was he so adamant to get me to lead the masses.

“Your a natural leader, Riley. I’ve seen it first hand, you lead me to help you smuggle things into our district, you’re ideals have swayed more and more people to join the rebellion, and you setting fire to the stage in the district, lead sixteen districts to follow suit. You really don’t realize the impact you have on everyone around you.” Wait… back up, sixteen districts. I had no idea people were uprising like that.

“What do you mean?!” He didn’t say anything else straight away, he just flipped the volume up on the news channel and watched my face drop in shock. He was right, news footage was covering eight districts showing their whipping stage burning in split screens on the old television, and underneath a revolving bar of information was seen. It said clear as day that sixteen human districts so far had committed the arson.

“Holy shit!” I couldn’t contain my shock as I finally watched the new report. “You’re right!” I don’t think he was expecting me to agree with him straight away but he smiled when he saw my eyes begin to flare with an emotion that I assumed was lost to me. “I started that? I started that!”

I thought the king had broken me, I thought I was beyond repair, but I wasn’t. Every crack he had created in me suddenly began to heal as I watched eight separate fires burning on screen.

“I am done…” I stated folding my moms letter up and placing on the side before starting to pace the small corridor within the RV. “I am done feeling sorry for myself and my situation, it’s not like I can change anything that’s happened, all I can do is make sure it never happens to anyone else. Not now, not ever again. Especially when there are people out there, like you and Adrian, who are willing to put everything on the line in order for me to be free.” I knew what I needed to do, I knew that I had sat and taken things for far too long. “It’s my turn to give something back.”

I stood up and wandered over to the RV door. My moms written words giving me a whole new feeling of hope, while Clarkes spoken words turned my embers once again into a roaring flame.

“What exactly are you going to do?” I looked back at my partner and stared him in the eyes. There was no hint of anything except anger on my face.

“I’m going to kill that bastard of a king.” I opened the door and went to step out but Ryan’s voice stopped me once again.

“How exactly do you plan on doing that?” I thought about for a minute, however my answer came a lot quicker than I expected it to. It was pretty obvious after everything that had happened in the past few months. I had genuinely never felt stronger than I did in that moment, and I was going to do everything in my power to keep myself feeling like that.

“It’s simple really… I am a god damn superhero!”