Chapter 113

Lewis POV.

“You can't look at me without seeing what King Josh did to me, can you?" I watched helplessly as her eyes began to water slightly at her words. I couldn’t for the life of me believe that’s what she thought. This girl in front of me, had been through so much, and the only thing I ever saw when I looked at her was a true leader.

"No, it's not that at all, Dylan..." I had to cut myself off while I quickly thought about my next sentence. I couldn’t just turn around and blurt out that she was my chosen mate? That I loved her with my entire being, that I wanted her to let me love her, I couldn’t explain that I wanted nothing more than to hold onto her until the day I died. "I promise you, it really isn't like that, honestly.” How could she not believe me, she’s been through so much, I knew that, but I thought I had at least managed to show her that I was different, I wasn’t just some lycan hell bent on human slavery. “I... I sometimes have to remind myself of what he did."

I was actually quite proud of my answer at first, I made it very clear that I thought she was beautiful, I told her that she unknowingly turned me on, and that I had to pace myself with her. I had to remind myself of everything she had been through so I didn’t come on too strong. So that I didn’t chase her away. I would never force myself onto her no matter how badly I wanted her, I could never do that after everything she has taken on.

"You want to remind yourself of it?" Oh shit… maybe I wasn’t so clear. I watched helplessly as anger clouded her beautiful features, I’d fucked up big time now. I quickly shook my head and growled slightly my hand roughly ran through my hair in exasperation, I had no clue how I could have been bungling up so badly. “Why?! Why would you want to remember the most humiliating and soul destroying moment of my life?"

"That's not what I meant, I just..." I growled again and turned my head away from my girl. She had to know that I obviously didn’t mean it like that. “I just meant that I have to remind myself of everything sometimes because…” It was because I wanted her, I wanted her so bad, and I couldn’t have her, she wasn’t ready. “Well, with the way you’ve moved on, it’s just difficult to believe, you’re doing so well now that you’re here.” That only caused her expression to change to one that showed nothing but sorrow and demoralization, and it absolutely stung knowing I was the one who made her feel that way.

That face she was making, why was she looking at me the same way she looked at him? Like I had betrayed her very being. Honestly though, even in that moment I couldn’t get Her screams from that day to stop haunting me… and the agony I felt in my chest, the pain I felt from being made to watch was unbearable, a lot more so than being rejected by my first mate. I hated seeing Dylan go through everything she did, but that day was the worst thing Josh had done to her, and I hated the fact that I was forced to witness it and not be able to do a single thing about it. I have hated myself, everyday for standing idly by and watching her go through so much, and to make matters even worse, I left her with him… I left her alone and scared with the person that abused and tortured her. I knew it then and I knew it now, Dylan was my one true mate.

“Urgh, I'm not explaining this right at all am I?" I really wasn’t making myself clear even though I thought at first that I was doing ok. I felt my heart rate begin to hammer inside my chest, panic swept through me as I thought about how this misunderstanding could drive her completely away from me, just when she had finally begun to let down her guard around me.

"I get it, you don't have to justify yourself." Her eyes were filling up more and more as she thought about my idiotic words. Honestly, what was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to tell her that she was my mate? That I had fallen for her harder than I ever thought possible?

“Dylan, please just… please, just Let me explain myself.” She shook her head, and blinked her tears away quickly, I watched the walls she had built around herself shoot right back up, and her sorrowful expression turned emotionless instantly, her eyes held nothing but emptiness when they looked at me, it was almost like a switch, one that she had created to stop my kind from seeing her true terrified self.

“Forget it… if you want to remember that day, then fine… but do it without reminding me of it…” Her frail body began to tremble slightly and with it I felt my entire world crashing down, I couldn’t stand by and let her think that. So I gripped her upper arm gently but firmly and held on for dear life. I couldn’t loose her. I just couldn’t. Not now, not after everything.

My chest clenched tightly in pain, and the rejection that came with her struggle to move away from me caused agony to flow through me.

At this point I thought her blank stare at me was the worst thing she could do, but once I’d managed to get a closer look at her beautiful face, I realized that the worst thing was the tears that were now streaming down her cheeks. I had made her cry because I couldn’t be honest. It was time I faced the truth and told her exactly what I was thinking… I had to tell her exactly what I was feeling, because if I didn’t I would loose her anyway, and then I would never get the chance to express how I truly felt about her.

“Dylan, please…” Her head shook and her legs trembled, I heard a small sniff before her hand came up to my cheek and a slap rang out. It didn’t hurt physically, but goddess did it burn my heart. I watched as she quickly flinched, bracing herself for pain, expecting me to retaliate with abuse.

“Get off me… let me go… you, you mutts are all the same, all you want is to see us suffer.” Her words came out in a sob, anger and pain clouding her while my own eyes began to fill up. “I don’t want your pity… Just leave me alo…”

“Urgh… I LOVE YOU!” Her movements stopped instantly and her tear stained face shot up to me so fast I was surprised she didn’t get whiplash, at my shouted words. Her eyes widened and her luscious lips parted in shock… well I suppose there was no going back now. I sighed at how quiet the area had gotten, it seemed like even the birds in the trees were holding their breath in anticipation for what was to come. “I’m in love with you, Dylan!”

Her now surprised eyes studied mine for any hint of a lie, and disbelief flashed across her features instead of sadness. I watched as her heartbreaking tears all but stopped instantly and quiet enveloped the pair of us. Her silence was deafening however.

I just stood there, still holding onto her upper arm gently, afraid that she would run as soon as I released my grip. In honesty, I was shocked too. I had absolutely no intention of blurting my confession out like that? I wanted to tell her when the time was right, not after I mistakenly made her believe I didn’t care about her at all.

I mean She really had been severely abused for months, and I had stood by and allowed that abuse to continue. Of course she didn’t believe my confession.

I had to show her…

I would accept her rejection like a true gentleman if she requested it, but in that moment the only thing I could think of was showing her my true intentions, which was extremely difficult to do as my wolf side was fighting me at every turn to just claim her as mine.

"Goddess please give me strength..." I let out a small mumble before now gripping both of her upper arms gently, I turned her ever so slightly so that she met my own frame square on. I moved before I could even think about my actions too much and quickly pulled her into me.

Our lips connected gently, my eyes closed in pure bliss, and the faint sparks that once tenderly tickled my skin every time we touched, shot through me with the intensity of lightening. The bond that I whole heartedly chose to share with her, had been fully awakened, I felt more pleasure than I had ever felt, and I hadn’t even marked her, not that I was ever planning to.

My entire life so far had led me to this moment, to the moment where I could finally hold my one true mate and revel in the ecstasy of her touch. Even if the moment turned out to be brief, even if I was not what she ultimately wanted, I would thank the moon goddess every single day until my dying breath.

I just had to pray that I wouldn’t be rejected again.